[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

Any G.U.N units out there, this is Agent Shadow. I've been brought aboard a spacecraft known as the Tranquility through unknown measures. Situation and hostility currently unknown.

As for the people on board this ship itself; if anybody can provide me with the necessary information on who I have to take care of for turning me human and returning home, I will be appreciative and perhaps let you live.

Comments

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

[Also completely deadpan.]

Only a fool would have trouble understanding a simple statement.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

Oh, I understood it. Looks like it boils dowwn to, "I'm a fuckin' jerkoff wwho thinks he can threaten anyone he wwants."

Guess wwhat, you're not threatenin' me. Perhaps let me livve? Wwhat a fuckin' load. An' anywway, just a quick look at all these wwrigglers screamin' for their friends or wwhatevver wwould havve told you none'a us knoww anythin' right noww. So stop wwastin' my time by actin' like you're some kinda big shark in a lil' aquarium.

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should stop squawking like an imbecile and realize I care little about your opinion.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[You did not just dismiss him.]

Excuse you. The only one here actin' like an imbecile is you.

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

You're wasting my time.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

Yeah, 'cos your time is really fuckin' vvaluable right noww! You got plenty'a it to spare, wweirdo.

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to jump to that assumption.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

Wwhat could you possibly need to do right noww?

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

Finding a reliable power source.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

For wwhat?

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

Chaos Control.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

For those of us wwho aren't fuckin' crazy, wwhat is that?

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

For the incompetent, I can slow down or speed up time with an available chaos energy source. Time jumping if you will.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Oh. That sounds kind of cool.]

Wwell, look at you. Aren't you fuckin' special.

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

I'm the Ultimate Lifeform. Nothing's impossible.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[...

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER.]

Sure you are, buddy!

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

Believe what you will. The humans certainly laughed before I destroyed half of their moon.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

Big fuckin' deal.

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

Then tell me your achievements. Run faster than the speed of sound or saved a planet from a crashing space colony lately?

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[His guilt is quickly outweighed by his need for competition.]

I destroyed a wwhole fuckin' race wwith one shot.

Plus, turned a friend into a rainboww drinker, killed my ex-moirail's fuckin' stupid matesprit, an' killed countless'a other trolls an' fed their lususes to a gigantic sea creature.

[.....oh. Now he feels guilty again.]

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

[He's silent for a minute.]

So you're a murderer.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[...
...]

...I guess so.

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

You don't kill thousands and simply say 'I guess so'.

I murdered in my quest for revenge, but I'm atoning for those deaths. I'm not afraid to admit that I killed people.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Man this went from boasting bitchfests into being really depressed, really fast.]

Wwell, I got one up on you there. [He sounds suddenly irate.] It's called a chainsaww, an' I got real fuckin' close an' personal wwith it! So you knoww wwhat, I fuckin' wwin at this game. You're a shitty fuckin' person but I'm wworse, an' fuck you an' your crazy fuckin' ramblin' about chaos an' shit!

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

I pity you.

You don't feel one inch of remorse for your actions.