[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

Any G.U.N units out there, this is Agent Shadow. I've been brought aboard a spacecraft known as the Tranquility through unknown measures. Situation and hostility currently unknown.

As for the people on board this ship itself; if anybody can provide me with the necessary information on who I have to take care of for turning me human and returning home, I will be appreciative and perhaps let you live.

Comments

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

For those of us wwho aren't fuckin' crazy, wwhat is that?

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

For the incompetent, I can slow down or speed up time with an available chaos energy source. Time jumping if you will.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Oh. That sounds kind of cool.]

Wwell, look at you. Aren't you fuckin' special.

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

I'm the Ultimate Lifeform. Nothing's impossible.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[...

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER.]

Sure you are, buddy!

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

Believe what you will. The humans certainly laughed before I destroyed half of their moon.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

Big fuckin' deal.

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

Then tell me your achievements. Run faster than the speed of sound or saved a planet from a crashing space colony lately?

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[His guilt is quickly outweighed by his need for competition.]

I destroyed a wwhole fuckin' race wwith one shot.

Plus, turned a friend into a rainboww drinker, killed my ex-moirail's fuckin' stupid matesprit, an' killed countless'a other trolls an' fed their lususes to a gigantic sea creature.

[.....oh. Now he feels guilty again.]

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

[He's silent for a minute.]

So you're a murderer.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[...
...]

...I guess so.

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

You don't kill thousands and simply say 'I guess so'.

I murdered in my quest for revenge, but I'm atoning for those deaths. I'm not afraid to admit that I killed people.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Man this went from boasting bitchfests into being really depressed, really fast.]

Wwell, I got one up on you there. [He sounds suddenly irate.] It's called a chainsaww, an' I got real fuckin' close an' personal wwith it! So you knoww wwhat, I fuckin' wwin at this game. You're a shitty fuckin' person but I'm wworse, an' fuck you an' your crazy fuckin' ramblin' about chaos an' shit!

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

I pity you.

You don't feel one inch of remorse for your actions.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[WHOA. WHAT.]

Wwhat.

[voice]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

You had better hope we don't cross paths.

[CLICK. END CONVO.]

[no comment]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[..............


What the fuck just happened here.]

[also no comment]

[hauntedbymemory.livejournal.com]

[Shadow has no idea he just hit on a troll]

[triple no comment combo!]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[He'll probably find out the hard way, eventually.]