[text/video] --2.

[insufferableprick]

are we all done washing pod goo out of our asses now
cause if we are ive got some shit id like to unload no pun intended
and i know someone out there is probably interested

[ Dave switches from text to video, but he's not in front of the camera. Instead, he's pointing it at… well, it's not immediately obvious what he's pointing it at, but he zooms in, and that helps.

Three piles of menswear:

• One pile of white fedoras.
• One pile of black silk ties.
• One pile of men's business shoes.

Then back to text. ]

any dudes feel like accessorizing their jumpsuit
cause ive got a shit ton of smooth criminal cosplay items and nothing to do with em
except maybe get my jackson on but im not size 10

Comments

Voice; texting is hard dave.

[andblockbuster]

...Did you lose a bet with the ship or something?

text; because he's worth it.

[insufferableprick]

i won the asshole businessman lottery
prizes are no exchanges no refunds
and if i return them ill just see them again next jump

text;

[kingofbabylon]

dibs on a fedora.

[insufferableprick]

bam
ones got your name on it

also you wont believe what other kinds of shit the lockers gave me bro

text;

[constructum]

Couldn't a girl be just as interested in this stuff as a dude?

[insufferableprick]

sure why not
im up for equal opportunity business wear charity drives
besides girl in a fedora sounds pretty sweet
but if shes interested in the mens size 10s weve got a mrs bigfoot on the ship

video

[the_vishual]

Let Ianto know you have this. He'll love it!

text;

[insufferableprick]

dunno any iantos
guess youll have to send him my way

( T E X T )

[wont]

The halls of holding gave you such things?

[insufferableprick]

wow did you seriously just call them halls of holding
because that is way too formal a term for something that amounts to a gym locker
but yeah ok
my "hall of holding" was basically choking on all this shit
when it came open it all just rushed out in a serious case of motezumas revenge
waves of menswear washing over me like the dregs of useless what the fuckery

do you want some

video

[walksonrooftops]

I like those hats.

[Whether he wants one or not, he doesn't say. But he does like them.]

But what are those snakes?

[insufferableprick]

now now dont hold back
the hats are free for a limited time only bro
pounce on that shit before it gets away

the snakes are 100% silk
and that means quality

[audio]

[testgasm]

Why do you even own that many hats?

[what is wrong with you]

[insufferableprick]

oh hey my favorite midler fan
thats a good question youve got there
too bad the answers obvious

the lockers were feeling generous
mustve had a clearance sale
get one free get another fucking metric ton for the hell of it
you only wish you had this many hats
just say the word and i can make your head accessory dreams come true

Text

[realslimstrider]

holy shit thats a ton of business wear
its like some mens shoe store took a vomit in your locker

[insufferableprick]

i am the fucking pimp daddy of the mens department
the death of business casual
its me

Text. 1/2.

[fly_like_pie]

i would appreciate having a new tie and pair of shoes.

Text. 2/2.

[fly_like_pie]

and maybe the fedora. idk that's a big maybe.

text;

[swagneto]

[ Oh hey, it's like Erik's favorite form of clothing there. ]

Do you still have extras?

[insufferableprick]

[ Everyone wants to see Erik in a fedora. ]

i am practically drowning in extras
plz say youll take some
itll take me years to grow into these fucking shoes and its my goal to not be stuck here for that long

video

[redhotsummers]

Why the hell did you get that stuff?

[His stuff at least made some sense.]

[insufferableprick]

see when the jump fairies go round stuffing lockers
theyve got this list
sorts people into naughty nice and aliens
you know
standard discrimination and stuffing procedures
but next to my name theyve got 'fuck logic this coolkid needs endless menswear'
thats my life right there

and shit its better than the dead horse they gave me the first go round
so im not complaining

[blunted]

nice haul

[insufferableprick]

and it can be yours for the low low price of free space on my floor

text;

[showbizpanache]

I need one of those hats

[insufferableprick]

done
one of these babies has your name and number on it
in fact
take two in case the one gets blown out an air lock
cause thats totally a thing that can happen right

text;

[kringlefuck]

Of all the things you could possibly get you end up getting those sort of objects to accessorize with...
But NOT a pair of shorts.
Unless i am mistaken and youre hiding your stash from me strider.

Other strider.

Brother of the strider.

[insufferableprick]

dude no one on the right side of fashion ACCESSORIZES with shorts
people wear em proper as crotch coverings not as optional add ons
unless the people were talking about are pants on head retarded then maybe youd be on the ball

you sure caught me red handed english
cause i am totally depriving you of your right to hot pants
ive locked up every pair of knee breeches that tumbled out of my locker
they are now my prisoners just waiting for you to liberate them and get them snug around your waist
no belt necessary its a fucking perfect fit
like they were made for your hips only
come and get em if you want em
get your let my knickers go on
i dare you