♓ ＴＥＸＴ。

[fronds]

[ while eridan might be sulking about his argument with feferi, she really has no problems with moving on immediately. so he can mope forever, if he wants. she is going to make some friends. ... she's also either ignoring the serious mood on the network right now, or she's completely oblivious to it. ]

)(ello, alien lifeforms! T)(is is your empress speaking!
)(-E)(-E)(-E, I'm kidding. I'm only t)(e would-be empress. 38)
Let's start again, s)(ell we? I'll be searious t)(is time! No more clownfis)(ing around, so listen up, buoys and gills.
Feferi Peixes is now aboard t)(e Trankrillity!
To be )(onest, I was )(oping to be somew)(ere else, but t)(ere's no )(arm in s)(aring new experiences! I've never been in space wit)( ALI-ENS before, so t)(is is an adventure! I'm getting -EXCIT--ED just t)(inking about it!!!

Two t)(ings! Firstly, I am planning a CORPS--E )(UNT! But according to some stupid grumpygills, it's too DANG-EROUS to go alone.
Does anyone want to come wit)( me? It'll be an ADV-ENTUR----E!!
And also, I know t)(at -Eridan Ampora )(as made )(imself aquainted wit)( a lot of people )(ere...
So, I'd like to )(ear w)(at )(e's been up to, if nobody minds.

But enoug)( about t)(at, I'm ready to take part in some cultural mingling! >38O
Come on in )(ere and glub wit)( me, ok? I want to meet ----EVERYON-E!!!!!

( ooc | handy translation here! just make a note if you'd prefer me to reply with voice/video. ♥ )

Comments

( TEXT )

[wont]

[ Um. ]

Dear stranger, I believe your speaking box may be broken.

( TEXT )

[fronds]

It's broken? O)( no!
Am I not coming t)(roug)( CL-EARLY? Testing!!! Glub. 38(

text;

[ironnanny]

[ Okay he just has to fix all of this. You are breaking his AI butler brain with your nonsense, so he posts this text as a service to any other readers. Sorry, Feferi 8( I think this might be the second time this happened to you. ]

Hello, alien lifeforms! This is your empress speaking!
Hehehe, I'm kidding. I'm only the would-be empress. :)
Let's start again, shell (*shall) we? I'll be searious (*serious) this time! No more clownfishing (*clowning) around, so listen up, buoys (*boys) and gills (*girls).
Feferi Peixes is now aboard the Trankrillity (*Tranquility)!
To be honest, I was hoping to be somewhere else, but there's no harm in sharing new experiences! I've never been in space with ALIENS before, so this is an adventure! I'm getting EXCITED just thinking about it!!!

Two things! Firstly, I am planning a CORPSE HUNT (*???)! But according to some stupid grumpygills (*???), it's too DANGEROUS to go alone.
Does anyone want to come with me? It'll be an ADVENTURE!!
And also, I know that Eridan Ampora has made himself aquainted with a lot of people here...
So, I'd like to hear what he's been up to, if nobody minds.

But enough about that, I'm ready to take part in some cultural mingling! >:O
Come on in here and glub (*???, possibly 'socialize', 'gab') with me, okay? I want to meet EVERYONE!!!!!

text;

[fronds]

W)(at's wit)( all t)(ese )(umans being RUD-E??? S)(ees)(! Way to be culturally insensitive!
Or blind! Is my quirk really t)(at glubbing )(ard to read? 38(
Look, I'm not going to bite your head off! Why is it so hard for everyone to POLITELY ask me to cut the carp!!

[not here; possibly moar later]

[syllogism]

[ Fuck, no.

Oh god, no.

No, why?

Why is she here?

Dammit.]

[more stuff that's not here]

[syllogism]

[ Tridents, people. There are fucking tridents all over the damn post, and she has the audacity to joke around about being the Empress???

Two Daves, and this place became heaven.

One Empress Condesce, and this place has become hell. ]

[not here, never again; final reaction]

[syllogism]

[ Ok, ok. Back it up.

She says she wants to have adventures and cultural experiences. Says she's never been in space before with other aliens. (Why, is it because the conqueror bitch killed all the other aliens up there?) Her Imperious Condescension certainly knows how to make an entrance. He hadn't really thought too much about the girl who Eridan was talking to, but everything's starting to make sense now. Fish puns? Tridents? How long before she truly rears her ugly head? She's already insulted by the way humans can't read her damn typing quirk. What's next, human reproduction?

For once, Dirk himself is feeling terribly skittish. Somewhere inside, he's trying not to jump the gun. A small part of him wants to think that this is all a bad joke. (Or wants to think that things will somehow be different, that maybe she is different.) But he'd only risen up against the Condesce and upset Derse's order only a few months ago, right before he first arrived. "The Prince is awake. Your shit is wrecked." That's what he'd said before absconding, not to be found until he was ready to come out.

Then, he arrived here. Though it was months ago, the reality's so clear in his mind.

And now, she's here.

The Condesce is here. His shit is wrecked cause the destroyer of the human race has arrived. Maybe she seems innocent now, but none of you know any better. This is just like with Crockercorp, guys. Don't be fooled.

His hands are now shaking the same way that they did right after he'd killed the Brute. His mouth is dry, and he feels a lump that he can't seem to swallow in his throat.

...

He's probably been standing in the same place for ten minutes before finally deciding that he's gotta find somewhere else to hide. Can't stay in his room, can't linger in other places for too long. Always on the run. Probably will never fucking sleep ever again. ]

voice.

[shoyu]

[ oh my god it took him so much squinting and puzzling to understand even half of this. ]

Is -- is, ah --

[ have some fumbling as he struggles to switch to text ]

38)

[ and back to voice, since he cannot handle this texting business ]

-- that meant to be a face?

[ people have been slowly teaching him about emoticons okay ]

voice.

[fronds]

[ well, since people seem to be having such trouble with text, she'll respond to a voice reply in kind! maybe people can stop complaining then, sheesh. ]

Yes! It's a bit of a personalised emoticon, heheh. The three represents my tiara, and the eight is my goggles!

text;

[kingofbabylon]

oh i know eridan very well. we're practically best friends here by now - one step away from interlocking bracelets. and let me tell you, he's been having a part - drunk every day before noon, cruising every hot piece of ass that wanders by, cursing at elderly women and preachers. man, that eridan. he's really gone full tilt.

text;

[fronds]

)(mmm, t)(at doesn't really sound quite like -Eridan...
-Especially not t)(e drinking part!
Are you sure you're not just M-ESSING wit)( me???

TEXT

[cryptid]

'Corpse hunt'. I take it you'll be looking for dead bodies?

[ good lord, that text. luckily wesley is aces at translating ancient texts with much more difficult character sets, so it doesn't pose too much of a problem. ]

TEXT

[fronds]

Y--ES, t)(at is t)(e plan!
I am going to searc)( t)(e W)(OL-E S)(IP for dead bodies!!!
Of course, t)(e bodies may not be w)(ole... But t)(at isn't going to stop me!

[audio]

[testgasm]

Haha, I get it. Fish puns.

[And he sounds so proud of himself for figuring that out.]

Any particular reason? For them?

[audio]

[fronds]

[ it's okay wheatley, she's so proud of anyone who gets her stupid puns. ]

Whelk, that would be because I am a sea-dweller, of course! Fish puns are kind of my "thing", heehee.

text

[coffeeking]

Corpse hunting?

I know Eridan. I can tell you all about him.

text

[fronds]

Y-ES, corpse )(unting! You know, looking for dead bodies? Du)(!
O)(, you do, really??? SCOR----E!!!!
Tell me -EV--ERYT)(ING t)(at fis)(face )(as been doing, please!

text; it begins

[cutsofftheirlimbs]

Aliens?

text;

[fronds]

ALI---ENS!!!!!
It sounds muc)( more exciting t)(an being in space with a w)(ole )(eap of trolls, don't you t)(ink? I've never even M-ET aliens ot)(er t)(an )(umans!

text

[swagneto]

You type worse than he does.

[ He being Eridan. ]

text; le threadjack

[ironnanny]

[ Look, asshole, he translated for you, quit your grumpybutt bitching, Feferi is nice, you're just illiterate. He's texting this to you right now. Look how helpful he is. ]

video;

[tumbleweeds]

[ Jaye appears to be in an airvent. This is pretty normal for her. ]

I went on one of those. It got me on a creepy list. I didn't find any corpses, though, which sucks.

video;

[fronds]

[ oh, video! a shiny new function. ]

No corpses at all? That's disappointing! [ she actually looks really put-out by this. ] What's with the creepy list, though?

[voice]

[megamind]

I can speak with experiece that Eridan does very little on this ship except take up space and whine about his hair and cape.

Also, he's a lousy nemesis.

[Megamind's trying to feel better, cause he's a trollin' in the deeps...]

[voice]

[fronds]

Hahaha, he is a bit of a whiner! And I know he can be a real pain about trying to find a kismesis to fill his quadrant. But I'm glad to hear he hasn't started any major trouble around here!

[ like murdering everybody again. ]

[saint_kitten]

Another friend of Eridan's, how charmed!

[ All smiles, even if she had one hell of a time reading through that. ]

Oooh, you're far too precious, it's a wonder why you'er with the cranky lug at all!

video;

[fronds]

[ she looks exactly as precious as she sounds, apart from the razor teeth. ]

Hm, to be honest... We're not really friends anymore. It's complicated! [ he killed her, it's pretty simple. eridan is just difficult. ] But we're getting along okay here, I guess. He is pretty cranky, isn't he? Haha!

[statsraaden]

[Corpse hunt? There, Stats is now definitely creeped out. His voice is a bit shaky.]

Hello. I'm sorry I'll have to decline your invitation to a 'corpse hunt'. I'd be happy to explore with you, but I'm afraid I've had more than my share of dead people for now.

I'd be happy to introduce you to the people here, though.

[fronds]

Aw. 38(
T)(at's ok, Wesley already volunteered to go corpse )(unting wit)( me!
You would??? GR-EAT! I'm really --EXCIT-----ED to meet people and get involved wit)( everyt)(ing on t)(is boat!