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ataraxion2011-12-08 12:30 am
starstripedhero.livejournal.com) wrote in ataraxion2011-12-08 12:30 am
001 [text]
[ So after breaking out of the tube and sloshing around all disoriented and awesome-like (like some kind of baby deer just getting on their feet), America has gotten the hang of walking on two feet again in his Superman underwear (he's quietly happy he was wearing his favorite pair. If you're going to be kidnapped by something, best he wearing the undies that make you feel like a real man.)
He followed the directions as they were stated where he acquired his locker and the items within which consisted of a Baretta 9mm semi automatic with no extra ammo, a lukewarm emergency bottle of Coke, his glasses, and most importantly: his counterpart. A small, gray alien with bright red eyes that stands at about 3 feet. It seems just as disoriented as he is, and neither of them can remember each other just yet.
Nevertheless, he took Tony with him out of curiosity sense he was harmless and is now texting from his room, memories slowly coming back into his head. (at least he knows who is he now. When he first got out of the tube, he was absolutely certain he was Batman.)
So, a bit scatter brained, he finally figures out the text on this device. Good thing the most important things are coming to mind, like references to his favorite movies:]
HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Hello???? Hey, is anybody out there??? What is that saying... I vaguely remember... in space, nobody can hear you scream. Or whatever.
Anyway, bros, I'd like to know what's going on... it's freaking me the hell out... but...
Holy shit, dudes. This is incredible. We're in SPACE, MAN. Like, outer space. Like, boldly-go-where-nobody-has-gone-before-Star-Trek kind of space! BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY, LOL. FUCK YEAH... Oh my God. I can't remember shit. My mind must have .. omg... gotten wiped or something like in those movies. I even got this kickass body suit; I feel like this is Alien or something.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. I don't remember anything though. Does anybody remember how we got here??? Whose ship is this? It isn't anything American, that's for sure. And hell I refuse to believe those Russian bastards built anything like this. What is this?? This is... it must be... ...
O.K, dudes and dudettes, nobody panic! We've only been kidnapped by aliens, this is O.K. More than likely they're Communists, or with some kind of funky Commie influence or some shit. If you make contact with one, don't freak out, got it?
O.K, no panicking. That's not cool. Right, I know all about this shit... I think. Aliens are not things you should tamper with unless you have a pack of Reeses Pieces. Stay calm, everyone. Should you need a hero for anything ever, feel free to contact me! I'LL BE YOUR HERO FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED, BROS. SPACE. I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE.
Bruce Wayne
Alfred F... uhhh... Jones, yeah! Signing out!
P.S: There was an alien in my locker and it won't leave me alone. It's freaking me out.
P.S.S: I'm totally absolutely not scared or anything just to clarify.
P.S.S.S: If it seems like I am that's just your imagination!! Cause I'm wearing my awesome underwear so I can do anything.
He followed the directions as they were stated where he acquired his locker and the items within which consisted of a Baretta 9mm semi automatic with no extra ammo, a lukewarm emergency bottle of Coke, his glasses, and most importantly: his counterpart. A small, gray alien with bright red eyes that stands at about 3 feet. It seems just as disoriented as he is, and neither of them can remember each other just yet.
Nevertheless, he took Tony with him out of curiosity sense he was harmless and is now texting from his room, memories slowly coming back into his head. (at least he knows who is he now. When he first got out of the tube, he was absolutely certain he was Batman.)
So, a bit scatter brained, he finally figures out the text on this device. Good thing the most important things are coming to mind, like references to his favorite movies:]
HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Hello???? Hey, is anybody out there??? What is that saying... I vaguely remember... in space, nobody can hear you scream. Or whatever.
Anyway, bros, I'd like to know what's going on... it's freaking me the hell out... but...
Holy shit, dudes. This is incredible. We're in SPACE, MAN. Like, outer space. Like, boldly-go-where-nobody-has-gone-before-Star-Trek kind of space! BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY, LOL. FUCK YEAH... Oh my God. I can't remember shit. My mind must have .. omg... gotten wiped or something like in those movies. I even got this kickass body suit; I feel like this is Alien or something.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. I don't remember anything though. Does anybody remember how we got here??? Whose ship is this? It isn't anything American, that's for sure. And hell I refuse to believe those Russian bastards built anything like this. What is this?? This is... it must be... ...
O.K, dudes and dudettes, nobody panic! We've only been kidnapped by aliens, this is O.K. More than likely they're Communists, or with some kind of funky Commie influence or some shit. If you make contact with one, don't freak out, got it?
O.K, no panicking. That's not cool. Right, I know all about this shit... I think. Aliens are not things you should tamper with unless you have a pack of Reeses Pieces. Stay calm, everyone. Should you need a hero for anything ever, feel free to contact me! I'LL BE YOUR HERO FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED, BROS. SPACE. I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE.
Alfred F... uhhh... Jones, yeah! Signing out!
P.S: There was an alien in my locker and it won't leave me alone. It's freaking me out.
P.S.S: I'm totally absolutely not scared or anything just to clarify.
P.S.S.S: If it seems like I am that's just your imagination!! Cause I'm wearing my awesome underwear so I can do anything.
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OR WORSE.
I might be a cosmonaut.
1.2
2.2
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Get real.
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Who says 'no problemo' unironically anymore, really? Are you Bart Simpson?
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[And with that he just shuts off the communicator because damn, son, he feels dumber just for having waded through that conversation.]