JACK NOIR ==> [TEXT] one

[barkstabbark]

okay
so
im assuming the dates on these shitty computers are reliable
even if they fucked up all the clocks
im pretty sure sunday was three hours early but whatever
it says its sunday so
reset is over
and i still dont see any observations up
or any announcements or roll calls or anything
not one fucking thing

if this makes sense to anyone just
fuck
i dont care who you are just fucking talk to me here
i cant be the only one here
thats not fucking possible
there has to be someone else
anyone
come on

Comments

[barkstabbark]

[He is staring blankly at this diagram for the longest time. What the hell. Your orbit is uneven and your planets are sideways. What's next, the moon is swinging around freely and not chained to the planet?]

goddamn
who the fuck made your universe
i didnt even think that was a thing you could fuck up that badly
you could go flying into the sun at any moment with that shitty orbit fucking hell

[statsraaden]

Well I think you noticed that when you turn fast, you can feel a force pushing you away from the centre. It's the same for planets.
Nobody made my universe. It happened on its own. What is yours like?

[Again, crappy diagrams about forces on an orbit, yadda, yadda.]

[barkstabbark]

but its a circle
so its turning at the same fucking angle no matter what side youre on
that doesnt make any SENSE

ugh fuck hang on

[after a couple minutes he produces a diagram of his own, which looks incredibly shitty and kind of confusing.]

pretend all those things are round
thats what a proper universe looks like

[statsraaden]

Oh. Your planet has no axial tilt. That's why the weather is always the same.

[Stats then proceeds to explain about axial tilts with yet another diagram.]

[barkstabbark]

if you mean my planet isnt fucking crooked then yeah
im pretty damn sure thats how its supposed to be
if i wanted different weather id just go to a different planet

[statsraaden]

Well, perhaps we could ask people whether their respective planets are crooked or not.

[barkstabbark]

i guess but that wouldnt mean anything
trust me when i say i know all about making universes alright
had to stand around during the entire fucking process
and the incipisphere is like a universe theyre practically the same damn thing
whoever made yours probably just fucked up that part
missed a frog gene or whatever i dont fucking know
sucks to be you but i guess none of that matters now that were in this place anyway

[statsraaden]

Well, I think it's more interesting that way.
And my universe made itself.

[barkstabbark]

if thats what you wanna think
guess you can love your wonky universes all you want
i still think its weird

sure it did pal

[statsraaden]

Well, my universe may be weird, but I like it that way.