[text]

[scratched]

so this live action law and order episode is great and all but can we address some serious concerns here

like who can give a goddamn haircut

if i see one more asshole walking around with a mullet im going to do a triple axel right off the motherfucking rocker

Comments

[zoosmell]

i could do it!
but i think your hair looks fine.
i mean, mullets are not that bad?

[consulting]

Law & Order has murders.
The tranquility does not.

:(

SH

[uncodlyawwesome]

you mean people arent just cuttin their owwn hair

voice

[handelaar]

Haven't found anyone I trust with a goddamn pair of scissors.

Tell me if ya find out.

[scratched]

oh wow

stop talking
typing
whatever

stop

[zoosmell]

let me cut your hair!
don't be a lame-o.
after i'm done with you, i think you will be super attractive.
you just want more of a mullet shape, right?

[scratched]

dont make a fucking sad face about the lack of brutal homicide jesus christ

anyway youre one of the major offenders here
like i think i have take a sick day tomorrow because look at you makes me nauseous

[scratched]

[oh its that guy

yeah

him

or whatever]

look they probably just didnt check the safety scissors out of the daycare box
dont ask me i dont know what people do with the privacy of their own hair
all i know is theyre now making that shit public and it is offensive as hell
this is an official protest

voice

[scratched]

Don't worry, if I find the hair savior, you'll know him by the light of holy salon rays guiding the way.

[scratched]

im already super attractive i dont think one less ear and a party in the back is gonna help any

[zoosmell]

uh, hello?
i wouldn't cut your ear off, asswad!
and even if i did, it would make you look super artsy and awesome.
anyway, lean over the bed so i can see how long it is.
maybe we can grow it out and use it for jump rope or something useful.

[scratched]

if you want to fondle my head that back you can come over here chumphole

fuck you id look awesome with a ponytail

[zoosmell]

dave, dave, let down your hair just has a mega-creepy ring to it.

just come over here already, jeez!
i am not getting up just to feel your bristly haystack hairdo.

[player_not_slayer]

Shit this place would actually be interesting if there was some murders going around like on TV.

[Law and Order is a fucking ancient show, but they still show reruns sometime on the old fart channels at fuck o'clock, so at least he still recognizes it. Doink doink noises and all.

He's just going to ignore the bit about haircuts for now.]

[uncodlyawwesome]

maybe they should groww the fuck up grab a pair a scissors an get to wwork
i mean its not easy but if you havve any fuckin idea wwhat youre doin cuttin your owwn hair isnt a big deal

wwhats a mullet anywway it sounds gross

voice

[handelaar]

[Huh. So you sound young.]


I'd rather know through somethin' less adventurous.

[scratched]

Hey, so there's some psychopaths I think you need to meet, bro, you'll get along great. Maybe you can plan each other's perfect murder. It'll be a dream come true.

[law and order is the best in any era]

[scratched]

no
you banned from your side of the fort remember asshole

[scratched]

it is too a big ass deal when youve got a work of art perched on your head
itd be like hacking at the sistine chapel with a flamethrower
devastation and tears of the worshipers flood the street

a mullet is a sin against the universe
business in front party in the back
gaping maw of hell in between

[player_not_slayer]

[Trufax bro, trufax.]

Nah I'm cool, I already own one. Don't need any more than that.

[Kable's his psycho after all, and how many people can say they own a death row inmate?]

I'm just saying I'd rather see people flipping tables over something more interesting than haircuts or pansy ass mutiny attempts.

voice

[scratched]

This isn't complicated.

Mullets. Banned. Forever.

That's all there is to say on the matter.

[uncodlyawwesome]

none a that made any sense

[scratched]

mullet (muhl-let)

n.

1. hairstyle in which the offender allows his or her hair to grow out long in the back and kept short in the front to offend from as many different directions as possible 2. a disgrace 3. commonly found in hillbillies and space trash

[scratched]

[well we've all got to be proud of something]

It's not like I'm wasting my flipping out minutes on unimportant bananas here, this is a real life hair crisis of the tenth degree. The point is to not flip out about the mutiny and murder business, then you get rollover on your salon freakouts, got it?

[uncodlyawwesome]

oh is that wwhat you call that
thats probably the wworst look ivve seen on anyone in my life i just assumed it wwas some gross style humans thought looked good on evveryone
it doesnt
i see your point exactly an if i could id take an cut all a that carp off wwhile they wwere sleepin just to savve us the time an effort lookin awway from them