ｔｅｘｔ

[uncurse]

[ For all that Emma tries not to brood, she missed space Christmas and news of Pan's curse has her feeling particularly sentimental. Reflective, even. And the prospect of losing her memories, losing her loved ones, only serves to remind her that sooner or later, they're all trying, in some capacity, to lose the people they've grown to care about aboard the Tranquility. ]

A friend of mine pointed out a while back that not everyone has a home to go back to at this point. Or one worse than what's here, whether that means they're dead or just some other kind of screwed.

[ Strangely, with Dean back now, she has to wonder if he'd say the same again. That staying on the ship, even as it is now, is better than the alternative for some. Getting a read on him is tougher now. It feels like she's missing pieces. ]

What about you? What's your best case scenario for whenever we figure out what the hell's going on here? Do you go home, forget all about it? Backtrack to Arima and set up shop?

Comments

[uncurse]

Do you miss it?

[hedoniste]

My cello is here, and I wouldn't relive undergrad if you paid me.

( whether or not she misses her husband is a bit more of a complicated question she's sort of relieved not to have been asked. )

[uncurse]

You found your cello? I didn't think anybody had found something that huge from home.
Cellos are the big ones right?

[hedoniste]

Oh, yes. I learned how to play it side-saddle just to see how much of a pain that must've been, when it was the only way women were allowed to play the stupid great thing. It was in my locker when I first arrived.

[uncurse]

You learned to play cello while riding a horse?

[hedoniste]

I can do both, but not at once. No, you know how a cello is played? You sit with your knees either side of it? Playing it side-saddle means not doing that.

[uncurse]

Gotcha.
I was never much of a music person.

[hedoniste]

It really wasn't optional, for me. I was learning music before I could reliably walk without falling on my bum.

[uncurse]

Helicopter parents?

[hedoniste]

Professional concert musician and composer with dreams of creating a dynasty, more.

[uncurse]

Beats the alternative.

[hedoniste]

I'm sure he beat a lot of alternatives.

( and really didn't live up to a lot of others, but ilde is never going to condemn her father for his failures when she could, instead, spend far too of her life ensuring he never has to face them at all. besides, looking at emery's shortcomings as a parent (many) requires looking at her own, and-- no. )

[uncurse]

Ouch. Not missing your dad much, I take it.

[hedoniste]

Damning with faint praise? No, he's wonderful. He plays to his strengths.

( parenting wasn't one of them. )

[uncurse]

Ok. Weirdly pragmatic.

[hedoniste]

You think?

( because you'd be right, ilde's admittedly loving relationship with her father is not and has probably never been healthy. )

I don't know. I have a brilliant father who's always adored me. That's got to beat a lot of alternatives.

( it's just that putting it like that makes the unspoken 'but' fairly audible. )

[uncurse]

Yeah I guess it does.

[ Too bad Emma gets distracted moping about not having parents for 30 years. ]

[hedoniste]

( alternately: thank god, that way they can angst in private like normal people. sharing is caring? sharing is bullshit, if you ask ilde knox, which for some reason no one ever does. imagine that. )

Got lucky, I guess.

( in enough ways that she doesn't think it does anybody any good to feel sorry for herself, which is the kind of philosophy that's prevented her from seeking required mental help for over thirty years. )