voice.

[traumata]

I'm glad everyone's alright.

[ alright here being a subjective term. not dead might be better, though that's also a subjective term in this instance. the message is a bit late on the tail-end of the previous week's violence, and some clarification would probably be helpful, but kieren's second-guessed starting this discussion about a thousand times. now that he's finally going for it, the tactic's too leap before you look to be completely coherent. ]

It's not your fault. That's what people will be saying, anyway, about any damage you've done or harm you've caused, but I know it's difficult to believe. And it isn't true, really, because if you hadn't been alive, then maybe it wouldn't have happened.

Acting like the guilt's not there doesn't help. But if you can accept it, there's a chance you can learn to live around it.

[ except now he's getting insanely awkward group therapy flashbacks. the attempt to make the conversation less dire is a mildly panicked afterthought, tacked on quickly. ]

And I know I'm late to space Christmas, but if anyone wants any pictures — paintings, portraits, anything like that for belated gifts, I'd be happy to do something if you've got the materials.

[ super awkward pause, then: ] Thanks.

Comments

[traumata]

Oh. Well, that's fine, just... let me know. Or you could give me a photo.

[invisibilitea]

Oh, right, a photo-

[God damn it]

See he doesn't like taking pictures, he says he looks like rubbish in all of them, so that's why I wanted a painting. I can make him find time. And sit still.

[traumata]

Yeah, alright, it's fine. [ said with a slight hint of amusement at the flustered response. ]

Just let me know when he's available again. It'd just be for the sketch anyway, so it won't take very long.

[invisibilitea]

Yes? All right, thank you!

[She does actually seem a bit pleased, now.]

[traumata]

[ ok that's great but also ]

Isn't there a chance he'll hate a portrait? If he's so against photographs.

[invisibilitea]

At some point he'll have to just get over that, won't he? A portrait is a work of art.

[traumata]

Well, in that case, I appreciate your faith in me.

[ what if he draws stick figures, annie. ]

[invisibilitea]

[Then it'll be a stick figure with wavy hair, of Mitchell.]

Of course-

You did say you could paint.

[traumata]

Yeah, but it could be like those people who end up on the X-Factor. Maybe my parents have convinced me I'm fantastic, but they're just being nice.

[invisibilitea]

I'm sure you're quite good.

[traumata]

I'll do my best not to disappoint. Just let me know when you've convinced him, yeah?

[invisibilitea]

Yes, and ah-

You know, parents aren't always wrong.

[traumata]

[ you haven't seen his dad's taste in fashion. ]

Not always, no. But when they are, they're usually quite spectacularly wrong.

[invisibilitea]

Oh, well.

Yes.

[traumata]

Are you speaking from experience? About them being right, that is.

[invisibilitea]

My mum was right about a lot of things.

[traumata]

[ oh. well that sounds a bit more serious. ]

So was mine. Nothing too regrettable, I hope.

[invisibilitea]

Well.

Probably. I try not to think too much about the things I ought to regret.

[traumata]

I suppose that's one way to deal with them.

[ doesn't sound like he thinks it's a terrible one, either. ]

[invisibilitea]

Would you like some tea?

[traumata]

[ oh that's cute. ]

Um— yes, thanks, it's just that I can't drink tea.

[invisibilitea]

Oh.

Really?

Why?

[traumata]

[ not really a secret (thanks, simon), so. ]

Because I'm dead. Or I was, anyway. I'm alright now.

[ ISH. ]

privateish

[invisibilitea]

You are?

So am I!

private!!

[traumata]

Sorry— you're what?

[ not the reaction he was expecting. ]