ataraxion | voice.

I'm glad everyone's alright.

[ alright here being a subjective term. not dead might be better, though that's also a subjective term in this instance. the message is a bit late on the tail-end of the previous week's violence, and some clarification would probably be helpful, but kieren's second-guessed starting this discussion about a thousand times. now that he's finally going for it, the tactic's too leap before you look to be completely coherent. ]

It's not your fault. That's what people will be saying, anyway, about any damage you've done or harm you've caused, but I know it's difficult to believe. And it isn't true, really, because if you hadn't been alive, then maybe it wouldn't have happened.

Acting like the guilt's not there doesn't help. But if you can accept it, there's a chance you can learn to live around it.

[ except now he's getting insanely awkward group therapy flashbacks. the attempt to make the conversation less dire is a mildly panicked afterthought, tacked on quickly. ]

And I know I'm late to space Christmas, but if anyone wants any pictures — paintings, portraits, anything like that for belated gifts, I'd be happy to do something if you've got the materials.

[ super awkward pause, then: ] Thanks.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ hey the success rate is 2/3 so far so suck it. ]

I didn't say that.

You didn't have to. Why else would you tack it on at the end of telling us about how guilty we should all feel?

No, that isn't— I didn't call anyone a monster. And I didn't say you should feel guilty, just that if you did...

[ he pulls the defensive reply up short. maybe he should've just stuck with arts and crafts. ] Sorry, who are you?

Malia. [ And not to be deterred, ] What does that have to do with your crappy bid for group therapy?

[ nailed it. if this were video he'd be giving her A Look, but as is his tone shifts from slightly flustered to a bit dry, verging on sarcastic. ]

Kieren. And if it's not for you, it's not for you. I get it, really. Nobody's making you say anything.

And nobody's making you remind us that what we did sucks. Most of us already knew it was our fault and didn't need the reminder.

It wasn't meant as a reminder, it was just— I thought I'd put it out there, you know, in case anyone needed someone to talk to.

[ which kind of reminds him of simon's cult antics, actually. oops. ]

Why would anyone want to talk to someone telling them it's their fault?

[ CAN HE JUST DELETE IT. ]

Right, fine. It's not your fault. You're one-hundred percent guilt free.

Now you're just being an ass.

[ yoU CAN'T WIN. ]

I'm not— [ ok, maybe a little, and also wow talking to his little sister is easier than this. slightly exasperated: ] I didn't mean to offend anyone.

[ sorry about your delicate feelings, malia. ]

I never said you meant to; I just pointed out that it was a stupid thing to say. And it was. You're just pointing out the obvious: talking isn't going to change what happened, just like people pretending it's not their fault wouldn't.

[ talking does help on occasion, but now he'll just look super lame if he says that. thANKS MALIA. ]

It isn't about changing what's happened, it's about learning how to live with it. I never said it'd fix anything.

So you're saying there was really no point. We already lived through it if we're here to listen to your stupid broadcast in the first place.

No point for you, apparently.

[ you're so mean. ]

You could've just ignored it.

You could've just worried about your own guilt instead of trying to horn in on everyone else's.

Yeah, I'm getting that impression, thank you. I'll just keep it to myself, next time. Stick with the arts and crafts.

[ and he should probably leave it there, but— ]

It does help to talk about it sometimes, you know.

If you're hoping to find a therapist on-board, I think you're out of luck.

Yeah, well, I've actually seen enough therapists to last a lifetime, thanks.

[ ... which possibly sounds bad. ]

I'm sure I'll be alright without one.