voice.

[traumata]

I'm glad everyone's alright.

[ alright here being a subjective term. not dead might be better, though that's also a subjective term in this instance. the message is a bit late on the tail-end of the previous week's violence, and some clarification would probably be helpful, but kieren's second-guessed starting this discussion about a thousand times. now that he's finally going for it, the tactic's too leap before you look to be completely coherent. ]

It's not your fault. That's what people will be saying, anyway, about any damage you've done or harm you've caused, but I know it's difficult to believe. And it isn't true, really, because if you hadn't been alive, then maybe it wouldn't have happened.

Acting like the guilt's not there doesn't help. But if you can accept it, there's a chance you can learn to live around it.

[ except now he's getting insanely awkward group therapy flashbacks. the attempt to make the conversation less dire is a mildly panicked afterthought, tacked on quickly. ]

And I know I'm late to space Christmas, but if anyone wants any pictures — paintings, portraits, anything like that for belated gifts, I'd be happy to do something if you've got the materials.

[ super awkward pause, then: ] Thanks.

Comments

[traumata]

I'd appreciate that, thank you. [ and this is kind of an embarrassing echo of annie's question to him, but: ] Do you paint?

[forpoland]

You're welcome.

And I do. ... Did. I painted fans for my earnings in Paris.

[traumata]

You're from Paris?

[ !!! ]

I was thinking of moving there, actually. Before— [ the government said he couldn't. ] This. Were you born there?

[forpoland]

Oui.

It was a beautiful city. Full of life. [And in the middle of a revolution] Ah- no. I am from Arles.

[traumata]

I've never been, sadly. I was hoping to attend art school there. Arles— that's where Van Gogh stayed, isn't it?

[forpoland]

Perhaps one day if Mlle. Tranquility ever relinquishes her grip on us all you will have your chance. Until then, the practice is worthwhile. [ ..Who? ] Aah, I believe so? It was after my time I think.

[traumata]

[ pardon. ] The eighteen hundreds were after your time?

[forpoland]

[Surprise!] Just during actually. The year I- [died] parted with Paris was 1832.

[traumata]

Was that before or after everything went to crap?

[ said lightly, meant as a joke. he'll probably feel bad about it later. ]

[forpoland]

[A small pause and almost monotone] Our barricades had fallen. The people we asked to join us did not.

[Was that depressing enough? Let's change topics.]

But, France has changed since and has improved greatly than when we left it. I can only be pleased by their advancements.

[traumata]

[ yes that was sufficiently depressing. kieren's voice goes flat, too, clearly regretting the question. ]

I— yeah, I suppose it has. It's very nice now, actually. Definitely better than where I'm from. I'm Kieren, by the way— I don't think I got your name.

[forpoland]

[Sorry Kieren :c At least Feuilly has some cheer back in his voice talking about modern France?]

It sounds magnificent from what I've read. And the Eiffle Tower! How I would have loved to see it in person... Oh- How rude of me. You may call me Feuilly.

[traumata]

Full of famous artists, as well, though I'm not sure about fans.

It's very nice to meet you, Feuilly. I'm sorry about the... [ Very rude comment about France. And possibly the revolution, also, though that isn't really his fault. But he trails off instead of saying it outright, then changes topics. ] Should I just come by yours sometime to pick up the paints?