ataraxion | 005 ♗ text

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005 ♗ text

[ On pops the device – it’s text this time – as she isn’t truly in the mood to be talking to people – let alone facing them. (the girls sad, okay?) ]

I know the next jump is coming up fast, and we all need to be getting ready for that of course. But given the events that have been taking place, perhaps we can figure out a way to do a headcount before and after the jump? Also, has anyone seen my friends? I arrived with them, and now they appear to be missing. They were: Arthur: 001 » 019 Eames: 001 » 193

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[ she appreciated the attempted reassurance, and it seems to bring a ghost of a smile to the corner of her mouth at the idea of it -- if only for a moment. ]

You're right. I maybe shouldn't be all too surprised Eames' might have left me here alone -- but Arthur? If they found a way to kick themselves out of this, well, I would have thought I would have been included.

I just -- I'm alone now, Kasumi. [ which has her sounding almost broken as she admits it. something she isn't about to share with anyone other then kasumi then of course. ] You're here -- and I'm glad for that. But I'm not sure even you can understand what I'm going through now.

[ Kasumi makes a humming noise, as if she might beg to differ being no stranger to losing loved ones herself, but she lets it pass as an unhelpful detail at this point. ]

Maybe there wasn't time? Or maybe they thought once they got out, it would be easy to get back in for you? Maybe they didn't have choice about it? I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel less alone, Ariadne, but don't feel abandoned, all right? I'm sure your friend Arthur wouldn't do that.

I know. [ She knows Kasumi is right - and clearly she has a point - but it doesn't stop her from feeling slightly lost now. To her, they were the only ones that truly understood what she was feeling. (Assuming that this is just one giant dream) ]

I just..[ She falls silent then, as a small sniffle seems to slip out of her - one she is clearly trying to hide. The stress of it all is beginning to become a bit too much lately, as it's not something she signed up for when she took the job back in Paris. But there is a need for her to fight through these emotions - to not let them weigh her down -- to not let them cloud her judgment. So she is quickly wiping away any hint of frailty on her part, taking a deep breath as she does, only to finally admit: ] Do you know what it's like to be part of something you really can't explain to others? [ a beat ] Not that I don't think people can understand.

But if I do, there is a chance I might lose my grasp on reality. [ And clearly the idea of being lost in the dream isn't something she wants, and she sounds rather determined not to let that happen. ]

Do you know what that feels like?

[ Kasumi's silent for a little while, thinking about how best to respond. She's drumming her fingers, actually, but it's soft enough that it probably doesn't pick up enough for Ariadne to actually hear. ]

I'll tell you a story. I used to have a partner, Keiji. Some of the work we did together was... not exactly legal. He was a hacker and a good one. But one time, he stumbled on something big, and it got him killed. I didn't want his murderer to get away with it but because of what Keiji had been involved in, I couldn't really tell anyone about it either. I didn't think I'd ever manage to avenge him on my own.

[ ariadne doesn't reply right away to this, more she takes each detail and quietly tries to fit it to her circumstances. she always had a strange suspicion that there was more to kasumi then she was letting on. but that was the same for her as well, so she didn't blame the woman for not outright sharing those sort of things. in fact, she found it to be something she admired in a sense. and this small story truly does have some reliability to her - even if it is a small fraction of one.

a small sigh seems to escape her then, as ariadne finds that her brow furrowing slightly in thought over her next few words. ] What did you end up doing exactly then?

[ a beat and she is adding almost quietly. ]

Because that's the thing, I honestly don't think people would take too kindly to what my friends and I can do.

Edited 2012-03-17 22:17 (UTC)

[ Kasumi laughs. Very softly. She's curiously -- for a moment, intently so -- about what Ariadne means by "what her friends and her can do," but Kasumi imagines it's something like her own story: better told at her own pace. ]

I found someone I could trade with to get what I wanted. I'm not sure how much that helps in your case. But if a boy scout can be talked into helping a thief, I'm sure you're not in this alone either.

[ the ease at which kasumi is taking things, seems to have ariadne's nerves put slightly at bay here. at least allowing her to feel she can be slightly more honest with her. knowing she is apparently alone -- having someone on her side here would be beneficial after all. (even if they may be a projection.)

a faint laugh is returned then, before she is letting out a small sigh, saying: ] I'm not fully sure people are going to just up and trust me if it does come out, I'm not all that I appear to be. There's a chance it could actually cause more harm then anything as well.

[ you never know how projections are going to take things after all. ]

My friends and I… [ she pauses then, again letting a low sigh escape her, before her voice softens, continuing: ] well, we can mess with people minds - get inside their heads – see their dreams. [ it's not exactly the best explanation of things, but at least it is a start and allows kasumi to ask the questions she herself feels need answering. ]

So I admit, I feel sort of alone here.

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