[video]

[alsohawkeye]

[ The camera is met with an angry-looking Kate, one angle of her jaw flexing as teeth clench. Her forearms are folded on the tabletop in front of her and she leans her weight onto them. The way she launches right in gives the impression she's been holding back this bad mood for a while before giving in. ]

Okay, so first of all, whoever stole my bow at the jump: bring it back. It's a cheap piece of crap anyway and it's not like we have arrows laying around but it's the only one I have here and there aren't any more in the armory and it's not exactly an inconspicuous weapon so what are you even going to do with it without me finding you?? Seriously, just bring it back before you damage it somehow and I promise I won't hit you with it no matter how tempted I am.

And speaking of people around here being total assholes [ Because whatever, she's started now and trying to make her no-hitting promise sincere just has the frustration shunting off into another topic, ], is someone turning people into animals seriously allowed now? That's just a thing we're cool with, going to let that slide on by, no brig time involved? [ She's not generally a very animated speaker but her hands twist off the table into the air into a 'seriously?' gesture. ] FYI never annoy this Gold guy because I guess he can just turn you into a cat if he feels like it and nobody will ever do anything. If I disappear after posting this be on the look-out for new pets wandering around or something. On second thought maybe that'd be a nice change from this place's bullshit for a while. Gold, if you're watching, just make it a dog or a bird or something, alright? Cool.

[ It's hard to make a dramatic exit on a touch-screen device but she pushes the STOP button as abruptly as she can anyway. Hawkeye out. Nope, wait, spoke too soon. It starts up again after a second just long enough for her to shout: ]

And bring me back my god damn bow!

[ Okay, now it's done. ]

Comments

voice;

[alsohawkeye]

Yeah, personally I don't know if I'd risk sending him a thank you gift basket. Did he turn someone you know, or just general amusement at the idea?

voice;

[humanistic]

Good thing I'm not a gift basket kind of guy.

{But if he was, man, he'd strongly consider it in this case.]

And can you really blame people for being generally amused? [Actually, hang on, side note--] Was there more than one magic cat?

[alsohawkeye]

No, you're right, it is pretty funny. I'm sorry I missed it, to be honest. But it could've easily been a lot worse, and then we'd all be like 'wow, I wish we'd known that guy was dangerous sooner'. So. Now people know. [ She is just not going to answer that last question lalala ]

[humanistic]

[oh COME ON who doesn't like gossiping]

He's-- dangerous, or he was bored? Or are your friends allergic to cats, 'cause then I'd see where danger comes in to it...

[alsohawkeye]

[ People who are probably already getting yelled at for having said this much!! ]

Not that I know of? But if he turns people into small animals when he's bored or annoyed, imagine what he might do to someone who really pissed him off.

[humanistic]

[more like people who don't want to have any fun]

I know this sounds crazy, right, but maybe we could try not pissing people off and see how that goes.

[alsohawkeye]

How does that usually go for you? I mean no offense, but I sort of get a vibe.

[humanistic]

Yeah? And just what are you trying to imply with that?

[alsohawkeye]

That you seem like the kind of guy who ends up with people pissed off at him even when he tries not to.

2/2!!

[alsohawkeye]

I just know a trouble-magnet when I meet one, that's all. My partner is one. I love him but he can't walk the dog without ending up in the middle of something.

[humanistic]

[That is sadly, hilariously close to the truth--even (if he's thinking offensively, with as many supernatural slurs as possible) the part about dog-walking. Ha ha.]

But has he ever been turned into a cat?

[alsohawkeye]

[ The fact that Kate has to pause and think about it probably says all that needs to be said. ]

Not that I know of. I'm sure it's only a matter of time, now.

[humanistic]

[He's more amused by that than he perhaps should be, in his current state.]

Wow. So-- the reason you're not totally losing it on this magic guy is 'cause you've dealt with this sort of thing before. It all makes sense.

Well, that and you don't have a bow.

[alsohawkeye]

Usually more crazy science and aliens, but yeah, definitely plenty of magic, too. Weird danger is pretty much my day job. [ A pause. ] Also my night job. [ Another. Her head tilts as she reconsiders and amends. ] In a crime-fighting sense.

[humanistic]

Crime-fighting aliens.

[So dry.]

Are we talkin' black suits and sunglasses, masks and capes and tights, or... [Some third option, which he leaves for her to fill in.]

[alsohawkeye]

Usually fighting alien criminals, but sometimes. [ Kate shrugs. Her life is weird, she knows. ]

Tights and sunglasses, actually. I like to mix it up.

[humanistic]

Right, because I can't actually see your face right now, I don't know if you're having me on or not, so I'll just ask: are you having me on.

Crime fighting in costume?

[alsohawkeye]

[ She laughs, but it's not an answer. ]

No, I'm really not kidding. I'm a superhero. And sometimes a private investigator, but mostly a superhero. But "costume" is kind of misleading, it's just a jumpsuit and I don't always wear it, anyway.

[humanistic]

['Private investigator' is something to make note of, out of habit, but he's still going to act cool with her.]

So you can fight crime in regular clothes, you just choose not to. Sometimes.

[alsohawkeye]

[ Her turn for dryness: ] I can fight crime naked if I feel like it, but believe it or not a high tech super-light blade-resistant suit is better.

[humanistic]

Well, now there's an image people won't be forgetting anytime soon.

[Not him, per se, but just in general.]

You must be seriously bored around here.

[alsohawkeye]

You're welcome.

I'm getting in a lot of training, but other than that pretty bored. Spending a week or two each month wandering the halls of horror on recon is helping.

[humanistic]

The halls of terror, huh. I'm-- assuming you did that in the lightweight hi-tech suit, or we'd all have heard about it.

Did you see those black holes they were talkin' about?

[alsohawkeye]

I don't have the suit here, unfortunately.

[ She'll just let that sit for a minute. ]

So I wore normal clothes. I didn't see the actual black hole, but I did see some bottomless pits and bloody drag marks leading to them.

[humanistic]

[Potentially naked girls and bloody drag marks on the floor: things that Mitchell shouldn't be thinking and/or conversation about
but is

He doesn't sound shocked, or horrified, when he answered--and the little huff of breath that comes just before answering is quiet. Could be a dark laugh or just a breath out.]

Sounds like one hell of an aesthetic. See any of that tall figure they were reporting?