oo2 | video

[sleuthtastic]

[ ZOOM IN. INT: THE SHIP. There’s something not so dark about the video feed, actually, but it does feature only the back of a chair. Slowly, s l o w l y, it turns around--

And it’s Veronica, with one hand petting an imaginary cat and one twirling an incredibly imaginary moustache. ]

I’ve been expecting you, Tranquility.

[ Too much? Veronica grins, the screen shaking a little as she reaches to pick up the communicator. There’s a whine from somewhere in the background -- definitely doggylike, definitely her dog, since there’s a brown-fur head that bats gently into her other hand that no longer is preoccupied with villanious imaginary pencil moustaches. ]

But seriously folks. Hi, I’m Veronica. I might make this announcement again, but for now, there are a lot of floors and not a lot of security folks. Trust me-- I’ve done the math, crunched the numbers, and sooner or later we’re all going to be putting pig heads on spikes.

[ Out of the corner of the screen, Backup, her dog, apparently seems to be content to chew mildly on her fingers. Veronica…. looks a little disgusted, but love is love, and her nose wrinkles then un-wrinkles in distaste. ]

If you want to make yourself useful, consider this, me, Veronica, poaching you, the citizens of the Tranquility, to change departments and sign up for Security.

[ Sing-song: ]

We have Tyke!

[ One hand -- the hand not currently getting chewed on lovingly -- makes a tiny little paw and claws. ]

Very grr, arrgh.

You’ll love it, I promise.

Comments

[nightblogs]

Sure, I'll join.

[run]

[sleuthtastic]

No dice, hermano. There is a recruitment process.

[not here]

[sorrycharles]

[ voice ]

[sorrycharles]

Why don't you give us an idea of what our best and brightest have done for us lately.

[ a pause ]

Any recent successes.

video forever fuck you in the rusty metal voicepipe, mags.

[sleuthtastic]

[ Brightly: ]

Are you just going to hang up on me again! Because lately, I've been all about efficiency and we could just skip all the middle stuff.

[priceoffreedom]

Hi, Veronica.

Do I sign up with you, then?

[Okay he's convinced.

No he was convinced before.]

But what do you mean, putting pig heads on spikes?

[sleuthtastic]

Hi, buddy!

[ Too chipper? Yeah, probably. Veronica makes a motion with her hand, rocking it this way and that in the universal motion for so-so. ]

It's a reference. Literary. You should talk with Edgeworth or Tyke-- I'm just the recruitment poster. Tyke's usually the one who carries out the assessments.

[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

[Oh - huh. Well, you're definitely better than Sirius.]

Thank you, Ms. Mars. This was very well done.

[sleuthtastic]

Veronica.

[ Seriously, Edgeworth. ]

Say it with me. Ve-ro-ni-ca.

video;

[doggedly]

Hm.

[Thoughtful, critical squinting. Eventually:] 'A'.

video;

[sleuthtastic]

[ Loudly: ]

Where's my plus!

video;

[c24]

[ Okay, he's pretty impressed and amused. All the points. ]

I say stick with the growling noises, they're your best hook by far. I could feel the enthusiasm all the way from this side of the comm...

video;

[sleuthtastic]

I know. Super threatening. This face?

[ Point. ]

Good with the growling. Unfortunately, I'm only a part-timer, which is why you should join up.

[allbloodyhail]

Cute mutt.

[sleuthtastic]

That's not a very nice thing to call a lady, you know.

video;

[de_void]

[stiles holds up a piece of paper with a very large 9.8 written on it. congrats veronica, that basically guarantees you go onto the next round. even the russians will have a hard time matching your score.]

video;

[sleuthtastic]

Oooh!

[ Veronica puts her hands together and claps rapidly, which is equal parts put-upon enthusiasm and makes her look a little like a blonde in a hamster ball. ]

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here til Thursday! And-- [ Miming a motion in-front of her face the way mimes do before their expressions change. --scene.

video;

[redhotsummers]

...after watching this, I think I might want to get off security.

video;

[sleuthtastic]

Oh you.

[ Puffing her cheeks out and her arms stiff at her sides: ]

Mr. Macho.

voice;

[i_swear]

Heads on spikes generally ain't the worst of it. [Speaking from experience, anyway.]

video;

[sleuthtastic]

[ Veronica's experience? Not... a lot to do with heads on spikes, thankfully. She looks uncomfortable for a second, but it's there and gone again. Rolling with the punches, this Mars is. ]

I don't doubt you.

[northerner]

I've been advised that heads upon spikes are unacceptable aboard this ship.

[ robb's joking, but don't be fooled. he's still bitter. ]

[sleuthtastic]

And,

[ Veronica points out. ]

Your wife would totally ground you.

Video

[extrabraincells]

It's amazing how little of you guys there is. [ Seriously, he's been changing floors every jump and dodging you guys for weeks.]

[sleuthtastic]

[ MAKING A FACE NOW. ]

Was that a short joke?

video;

[wroughtsteel]

[ This girl is certainly an odd one, but if anything Éowyn is amused, even if she gets none of the references on that broadcast. ]

You do make a very compelling argument. [ Said with some humor, though not enough for it to be disrespectful. ]

I have spoken to Lady Tyke myself about joining, so for my part there is no need to carry animal heads on spikes - whatever it is that such an action even means.

video;

[sleuthtastic]

[ Oh, okay, right. Veronica-- pauses for a moment, because she's not entirely sure if she remembers enough Romeo and Juliet to pull off convincing renaissance fair speak. But what the hell, right? ]

It's a, uh. Scholarly reference. From a book. Written by-- You know what, that's completely redundant. Um. Hi, Lady...

[ Please fill in the blank with your name and put her our of her abject misery, Badass Lady of the Rohi-Fuck You I Am No Man. ]

video.

[antes]

So you're, what, the PR rep?

video.

[sleuthtastic]

[ That voice is enough for Backup to crowd Veronica's lap, nosing into the screen and barking twice, tongue lolling out of his mouth in what can only be described as a slobbery, dog-like smile.

Veronica laughs, pushes his face out of the way so she can actually get a word out. ]

Just think of me as your tiny pixie mascot and you'll do just fine, buddy.

[kutte]

Since when's that the only way to be useful?

[ girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl ]

[sleuthtastic]

Since we do all the heavy lifting.

[ :D ]

video;

[meloncholy]

[Have one guy from the 17th century who is still shakey with technology (you might get the occasional top of the head or from the jaw down shot) and stubborn about wearing his amazing studded jacket clothes from home. He also doesn't seem to have a clue about most of what was said as a result, but the word 'security' stood out and he's having a chuckle at the invisible mustache twirling.]

What does it involve? Fighting anyone who tries to pick a fight with someone else? [Because he can do that. That rates up there amongst his favourite things to do in the whole world.]

video;

[sleuthtastic]

[ And if that doesn't say I'm a baller from another time....er... then Veronica really doesn't know what does. ]

It can do!

[ Chipper. Hey, man, it's security bidness, not friend bidness. ]

text

[alsohawkeye]

If I sign up what are my chances of getting to play with your dog some time?

video;

[sleuthtastic]

Onnn a scale of one to ten?

[ Veronica squints down to the left of the screen, persumably at her dog. Who whines. Pitifully. ]

If I say ten, but I really mean eight, are you going to hold it against me?