text;

[50000volts]

Look. If this is a SHIELD bag and tag I'm really sorry, ok? For w/e it is that I did. Can I please go home now? I learned my lesson.

If this is not a SHIELD punishment, did somebody's ASSHOLE BROTHER open an Einstein-Rainbow bridge into space? Like AN ASSHOLE?? Not cool.

[ That is not what a wormhole is called, Darcy. ]

More to the point, who do I have to blow* to get a beer around here?



*No one is actually gonna get blown. sry not sry. pls give beer tho k tnx.

Comments

text;

[needsheadphones]

there's a bar. well, probably more than one, but one of them is the bar.

text;

[50000volts]

Don't suppose new arrivals can get shitfaced for free?

text;

[needsheadphones]

no money here, so absolutely

( anon text )

[busdriver]

this isn't S.H.I.E.L.D.

text;

[50000volts]

Well that's not ominous at all.

How do you know?

[ widow encrypt ]

[debts]

Lewis, Darcy; poli-sci major.
Assistant to Foster, Jane.
Associate of Thor.

Do you want to play a game?

[ That's a really bad joke. ]

[ widow encrypt ]

[50000volts]

[ That's a really awesome joke. ]

Right on all counts.

Who is this?

text;

[doggedly]

if you drink enough horrible space beer you might get to see a rainbow bridge
but it probably wont be the one youre looking for

wish we did have a rainbow bridge though it sounds lovely

text;

[50000volts]

Oh no. Is the beer horrible? I thought I had a silver lining here!!

It's like this rainbow that comes out of the sky. Not just out of the sky, but out of space. And it transports people to other places. That's what it looks like anyway. Einstein got that figured out I guess, not me.

( some shield encryption )

[specialism]

this isn't shield.

( some shield encryption )

[50000volts]

So I'm told. But you are.

I know a little bit about the law of averages, but I'm surprised I've actually had anybody know what SHIELD is.

[ Pretty sure that's not a proper application of the law of averages, Darcy. ]

( video. )

[carbonite]

Kiddo, leave the extreme measures when you're stuck in some grimy space port with no way out.

There's a bar.

( video. )

[50000volts]

Doesn't this already qualify as a space port with no way out? Just lacking the grime.

But a bar is good news.

( voice. )

[overthought]

I'm quite sure that it's an Einstein–Rosen bridge, but you're close enough. [she'll accept it.]

Though, I doubt that a wormhole brought us here. It would take so much energy for a hole to be ripped in space that it would literally tear the ship in two.

( voice. )

[50000volts]

It looked like a rainbow to me.

I definitely don't have any better theories about how I got from Point A to Point Space.

text;

[ex_agoodsoldier468]

[ Well, talk about someone who's a little more his style. ]

SHIELD. Nice name. About as weak as "Justice League" if you ask me.

text;

[50000volts]

Justice League? That sounds like a kids' show.

anon text;

[growling]

I think you mean Einstein-Rosen.

[ Yeah that's all. Anon crit, sorry Darcy. ]

text;

[50000volts]

Maybe. But it looks like a rainbow.

Text;

[allfatherissues]

Opening the bifrost to somehow lead us to this derelict vessel, trapped and floating in space? A complicated sort of prank, indeed, if I had the ability to do so.

[hi.]

Text;

[50000volts]

[ There's a delay before this message gets answered, because Darcy might have flung her comm device across the room and then buried it under her pillow for a couple of minutes before being a freaking adult. ]

Something to aspire to then?

[ INTERNAL SCREAMING ]

text

[alsohawkeye]

Space beer's alright, but the space vodka's a little better. Does the trick, anyway. Numbs the creeping horror. Encourages bad choices.

What do you do at home that you're worried about SHIELD picking you up? No offense but you don't really have a supervillain vibe.

text

[50000volts]

I'm for bad choices fuelled by vodka. Is there space tequila? Space limes???

None taken! In fact I'm going to take it as a compliment, ty. I've never been arrested by SHIELD, ftr. I just kinda went through my list of people who would throw me into a tin can, and it came down to supervillains or SHIELD. Wrong on both counts apparently.

text

[extrabraincells]

I feel like we gotta start handing out welcome bags. "Welcome to your new life on a ship. We know this sucks. So we provided a bottle of space booze for all your space booze needs because we know this shit is hard to swallow.".

text

[50000volts]

I like this idea. "You've been kidnapped. Have some space vodka!" It's perfect.