text || filtered away from Ellie

[humanistic]

Since everyone's all about hiring on help these days-- I've got a few things that need doing if there are any bored volunteers. Also a few things on a shopping list if there's anyone that recently arrived with a decent stash

Shopping list is easy: tea, more tea, spices, decent bacon, cigarettes, movies that aren't space knock offs. Watched almost all of those sixteen thousand times each. Though I recommend space Titanic, which is weirdly better than the Leoardo DiCaprio version.

Things that need doing: someone to move something seriously heavy, someone else to make a delivery and pickup.


You'll be paid in space beer or space risotto. Space beer and space risotto is also what we have to trade with for the stuff on the shopping list. And all of it's semi important, especially the tasks. Only slightly less important than the tasks is the cigarettes. [A pause.] And maybe the tea.

Thanks.



[ooc ps - there is totally not a sneaky vampire plot embedded in here, don't worry!!! but if you volunteer for the delivery & pickup it will entail a rifle drop off and maybe some (lots of) lying. be warned.]

Comments

[coy]

I'm guessing so, yeah.

[humanistic]

How do you guys get anything done with all these restrictions?

You've got someone keeping an eye on him?

[coy]

Trust me. I wish we could just kill him.

I'm trying to keep track of him. And his brother will try and make sure he will behave.

[humanistic]

Does his brother have a history of being any good at that?

[coy]

He's got about a 70% success rate.

[humanistic]

[Honestly, that's a better number than he was expecting. But it's still no good, not really.]

What's he look like?

[coy]

Klaus? Blonde, has a British accent, a little facial hair. He sort of... looks like a monkey, facial structure wise.

[humanistic]

[um that momentarily takes away from the seriousness of this]

A monkey

[coy]

[ its so satisfying to make fun of him tho.] Yeah, in the face.

[humanistic]

[oh ok are we talking vampire smack now because that's great]

In the face. Like just in general, all over, or is it the whole protruding brow thing

[coy]

[ all the smack] Oh, totally the brow thing. And his ears. They stick out.

[humanistic]

Get out. That's awful. Almost feel sorry for the bastard.

[coy]

I'm sure there are girls into that kind of thing.

[humanistic]

Ones that also look like monkeys?

Come on. You're a girl. Can you even imagine pretending to be into it?

[coy]

[ the thing is klaus is attractive and caroline thinks so but she can't and won't admit it. although it helps that he's such a psycho.]

Okay, no, but I guess he can compel himself girls or use that annoying charm.

[humanistic]

[oh ugh right that compulsion thing. other vampires, man.]

He's one of those guys. [vampires. whatever. all types have them.] That's hardly surprising. Sad, but not surprising.

Anyway I guess I'll keep an eye out for a vampire that looks like a monkey. Maybe one being trailed by charmed girls. Which is creepy.