Entry tags:
video.
[ peeta's got the device propped up on something when he switches it on, and it stays steady when he steps away to take a seat on the edge of his bed. he's wearing the standard issue tranquility jumpsuit, sleeves rolled up against the heat in his room, and he leans forward onto his elbows as he begins to speak. his tone matches his posture; despite the arguably tense topic, he seems relaxed. ]
I know people are worried about what happened on the bridge. I agree that we should find out what went on inside, but others already have that covered — and I'm more interested in why none of the mutineers are dead. [ slightly harsh wording. nobody had expected them to get out of there, so there's no point in talking around it. ] I've only been here for a month, and people have a lot of warnings about the ship being dangerous, about how it's out to get us. Which makes me wonder why all of us aren't dead, either. Some of you have been here for months already, right?
[ it's a rhetorical question. he's heard months, over a year. he still pauses before continuing, if only because he's making a slight switch in gears. ] Where I come from, the people in charge have a system. They created it to make people frightened and to keep them from having hope. They could probably just kill everyone if they wanted to, but they still need us — they need us to work, keep their Capitol running.
I think the ship's the same. I don't think it wants to kill us. I think it needs us for something, and that the events I've heard about — the stations it brings you to, the trials it engineers, they're trying to push us to do something. But this is where the comparisons to the Capitol stop. If all it wanted was inaction, it would've killed everyone on the bridge, but it didn't. I think it wants something else, and it needs us to do it.
[ another pause, and this time he offers a slight smile when he continues. maybe a bit out of place, but it becomes clear enough that he's taking amusement at his own expense. ] But I'm new here, so I couldn't tell you what. Normally I'd say it wants us to fight, but I've been told that doesn't accomplish much. I guess that's why I'm asking you — if there's anything that seemed like a hint, or a command, or a reward.
Everyone's caught up on solving the mysteries behind these things. I know this is probably just because I'm bad at riddles, but I'm more interested in the results. How they make us behave and what we're being taught to expect. I have no idea if we want to listen, but I think it'd be a good idea to try to figure out what it's asking us to do.
I know people are worried about what happened on the bridge. I agree that we should find out what went on inside, but others already have that covered — and I'm more interested in why none of the mutineers are dead. [ slightly harsh wording. nobody had expected them to get out of there, so there's no point in talking around it. ] I've only been here for a month, and people have a lot of warnings about the ship being dangerous, about how it's out to get us. Which makes me wonder why all of us aren't dead, either. Some of you have been here for months already, right?
[ it's a rhetorical question. he's heard months, over a year. he still pauses before continuing, if only because he's making a slight switch in gears. ] Where I come from, the people in charge have a system. They created it to make people frightened and to keep them from having hope. They could probably just kill everyone if they wanted to, but they still need us — they need us to work, keep their Capitol running.
I think the ship's the same. I don't think it wants to kill us. I think it needs us for something, and that the events I've heard about — the stations it brings you to, the trials it engineers, they're trying to push us to do something. But this is where the comparisons to the Capitol stop. If all it wanted was inaction, it would've killed everyone on the bridge, but it didn't. I think it wants something else, and it needs us to do it.
[ another pause, and this time he offers a slight smile when he continues. maybe a bit out of place, but it becomes clear enough that he's taking amusement at his own expense. ] But I'm new here, so I couldn't tell you what. Normally I'd say it wants us to fight, but I've been told that doesn't accomplish much. I guess that's why I'm asking you — if there's anything that seemed like a hint, or a command, or a reward.
Everyone's caught up on solving the mysteries behind these things. I know this is probably just because I'm bad at riddles, but I'm more interested in the results. How they make us behave and what we're being taught to expect. I have no idea if we want to listen, but I think it'd be a good idea to try to figure out what it's asking us to do.
voice;
Entertainment and something else, maybe. Sometimes they manage both.
voice;
[pretty proactive/paranoid theory you've got there though. he considers it a moment.]
So if you figure out what 'something else' is, what it wants, then what. You-- do what it wants, and...
voice;
[ he's all for not following them, but he'd rather it was slightly more strategic than accidental. ]
voice;
voice;
[ he doesn't say it, but there's an absolutely in his tone. there's honesty in it — peeta would do a great deal to survive, already has. but there's a lie in it, too, because the truth is he's done most of that for katniss. if it was down to him versus the other passengers without her on the line, odds are he wouldn't be half as determined. ]
voice;
[That's more agreement to the unspoken response than a prompt to go on. Because he gets that. Absolutely, he gets that.]
And when it gets what it wants, what does it do with us then.
voice;
But it probably just sends us home, if we're lucky. [ or not lucky, in some cases. mitchell knows about the games, and it's probably easy to read into the wry edge in peeta's voice based on that, though he's more thinking of the capitol's cells when he says it.
and he's heard something of mitchell's world, of what it has the potential to be, but— ]
Your world's still worth it, isn't it?
voice;
which is probably good, because they likely won't get much. endless cycle of shit, that's what they get to live through, over and over and over again.
at that question, though, he huffs a humorless laugh.]
Depends on the day.
[and the people. and the situation. and probably 75% of the problem is Mitchell--maybe even more; he'd go that far, also depending on the day.]
I'd like it to be. I think it, some pieces of it. But everyone you talk to is going to say that if you scratch the surface of their world, you'll find a little shit underneath. I mean, Christ. Do you want to go home?
voice;
the question he gets back is... not unexpected, given the conversation. still, he has to consider it. ] Not yet. Everything I need is here. But I would, if the situation here changed.
[ there's another pause, and for once peeta seems unsure of continuing. ] I know my world doesn't sound like much. But there are still things worth fighting for, and hopefully — when I left, the people were fighting back.
[ the people. not we. he's not really part of that fight, hasn't had the chance to be. ]
voice;
People end up with more fight in them than you'd sometimes think.
[and whether that's good or bad remains undefined. the subtle exclusion of that we doesn't really strike Mitchell as too strange. there's being a part of the people, and there's being the upper part, and there's being something else, something nebulous. he gets that. divided interests and loyalties aren't foreign.]
If they succeed, in that fight. That'd make you willing to go back, too?
voice;
Not without Katniss. [ so there are his priorities in a nutshell, though he considers the big picture a beat later. ] But I would. I'd go back now, if I needed to. I just don't think I'd be of much help.
[ then another brief pause, and his reflective tone shifts to outward curiosity, aimed at the incredulous nature of the original question. ] Does that mean you don't want to go home?
voice;
I don't think we'd get to choose. We didn't choose to be here--so if it gets reversed, we're going home.
[Bristol, or Barry Island. it's wherever George and Annie are. bonus would be if everyone left them alone, if there were somewhere they could be where there was no one else. no vampires. no people. no temptations--guilt would be there, always--but if the place was deserted, maybe it would work. that's practically space anyways, right?]
I don't know. When things here aren't trying t' kill us--it's all right. Maybe they'll give me my own planet to settle.
voice;
[ not great, either. peeta would rather be at home, despite how awful it can be; it's still home, still worth fighting for. and whether or not it'll end up better off in the long run, it'll definitely change. ]
The districts were pretty limited, back home. You weren't allowed to leave the perimeters. It isn't actually that different from this place.
voice;
How'd they keep perimeters? They can't have fenced in the whole country.
[maybe asking a little too casually about how were you all penned in and kept captive but peeta can take it.]
voice;
[ the richer districts had walls, but peeta's not entirely sure the citizens thought of them as a cage. he's not entirely sure what to do with the the strange devotion to the capitol in the wealthy districts, period. ]
But you're born in your district and you stay there. The only people who leave are tributes or victors. [ a pause, considering. ] Or the avox. Some people managed to run away, but not many.
voice;
Are the avox something t' do with your games, then? [And, actually, hang on--more importantly--] Did you get out?
voice; private ISH
[ so yes, he got out; it just isn't exactly a good thing, nor something he did entirely on purpose. if it weren't for the games, he'd still be in 12. ] The Avox are servants. Rebels, mostly— their tongues are removed to keep them from speaking against the Capitol.
voice; ISH eh
And this is what they do to the people that win their fucking Games. Yeah, great.]
Jesus.
[He mumbles it, first, to himself. And what do you say to any of that? He wants to apologise, but like it would mean anything coming from him. What does gone mean, exactly? Bombed out? And you still want to go back? is the question that comes next to him, but he doesn't say that, either. Just falls silent, for a second.]
Why?
[He asks it, and then sort of wishes he hadn't. But Peeta doesn't have to answer, not if he doesn't want to.]
voice; privateish they ain't got no fancy ipads in district 12 ok
and it isn't a complete lie. katniss's actions weren't about politics. the capitol still thought otherwise, tried to torture conspiracy theories out of peeta and the others, tried to get him to admit as much in the broadcasts. it's just one word, but mitchell's question hits on all of it, and it's enough to make peeta really stumble over his words for the first time since he's been here.
district 12 was destroyed to hurt katniss. but peeta's spent so much time avoiding making katniss sound complicit in the rebellion, it's impossible to give such a simple, intimate answer now. ]
Because District 12 was fighting back.
voice; privateish just bake some ipads already
So that long pause seems unnecessary. If Peeta's eventual answer is a lie, he needs to be quicker with them--but he seemed a good liar before. That makes it something else, a constructed truth, or a partial one. The sheer completeness of destruction isn't chilling--humans are capable of so much worse, they've proved that over and over--but Peeta's silence could be a sign of some sentimentality. District 12, that's everyone he knows. That's worse than the storeroom of the funeral parlor being blown to fucking bits, that's innocent people. Family.
Except it isn't sentimentality. It's something else. Mitchell gives a few seconds of silence to that answer, before he goes on.]
But it doesn't end the fighting. [And then, also--] You got out.
[Like that explains why the fighting would have gone on. But doesn't it? He thinks of Daisy's pale face, tight with anger, her eyes bright no matter what dim room they were standing in. One or two escape and that's all that's needed. Jesus, which side is he identifying with here, with Peeta's Capitol or with the rebellion?]
voice; privateish oh ok also still baffled by this cr
there's something verging on offense in his tone, rooted in anger. it's barely a hint, probably only remarkable for the fact that he's kept his voice so easily neutral thus far. ]
I didn't. If I leave here, I'm going straight back to the Capitol.
[ dungeons isn't really the right word. it's too clean and sterile; more like labs, almost. he doesn't offer the context of either— self deprecation, he'll do. indulgent self pity, not so much. ] But hey, at least I got to keep my tongue.
[ he'd rather he didn't, all things considered. at least then they wouldn't be able to do those pandering interviews. which is still verging a little too close to pity, and it prompts a subtle attempt to drop the subject. ] And I'm here now. There's no point in worrying about what isn't.
voice; privateish SO CONFUSED so pleased
But it doesn't really matter, does it. And Mitchell isn't even certain why he's pressed so much, now that it's all sort of been said. Peeta's got this tone of finality, bordering on anger--just a little, enough that he notices and remembers himself. Right. Shut up.]
Yeah.
[He doesn't necessarily sound certain of that--because they go back, eventually. Right? And all that shit is still waiting. The house in Barry, standing empty, waiting. The cage after the dogfight, the floor around it streaked in blood and ash. The vampires. The people he's killed. They're here now, but they go back.
He lets out a breath, a little shaky.]
Sorry. Yeah. It doesn't matter here.