ataraxion | [voice.] + [possible offline.]

[Sam lasted approximately 3.8 days resting in a bed after getting sort of kind of stabbed in the back (well, at home, then it sort of... followed him here). He's mostly healed thanks to the powers that be and Castiel, but he's still slow on his feet, all sore and stitched up and sort of exhausted from losing most of the blood in his body (or whatever Dean would claim he lost; he thinks it's not that bad anymore, so whatever). He sort of rests himself in the garden with his network comm, wincing a little to get comfortable against some old gnarled tree trunk.

He wants to get his mind off home. Dad's dead — dead dead, not coming back, no hope of fixing that — and he's got demon blood pumping inside his veins, and Ava and Andy and so many other kids are dead by now... And Sam is pretty sure he's dying back home, regardless of how his conversation with his brother goes. Basically, life sucks, it's a shitfest, and we're all gonna die eventually. But hey, he tries to keep the topic light and his faith a little high.]

Well, everyone from the bridge — I'm glad you're all okay. That was a terrible idea, but. I'm glad anyway. [And he is. His voice is light when he says that.] We'd rather want you guys all alive and kicking, y'know, even if I get why you guys took that risk. I mean, where I'm from? That sort of thing is something I deal with a lot, so... I'm not about to wag any fingers. But did anything in particular happen in there that would be good to note for the future? I know everyone just about tore their own arms off trying to get the doors to open from the outside; how was the inside, though? Any sort of visions, ill omens? Possibly changes in the setting that might imply something spiritual or omnipresent there with you? There were a few distorted voice and video posts, and I'm sure it's been brought up, but humor me.

[It's important to note these kinds of things.]

The ship seems to be warping itself a lot lately, so I figured best to ask. Like — the numbers. I don't know the implication or importance of them, but I know some of you've been talking about them... and the masks are a new thing for me, technically. I wasn't around for that, so I guess there's none to worry about for the newer arrivals, but I've heard it wasn't exactly rainbows and candy canes, though.

The mirrors were freaking out the last time I checked, the previous jump; on the bright side, I'm 100% sure that it's not Bloody Mary. Already had a hell of a time dealing with that particular ghost. [but we did it cuz winchesters. savin ppl. hunting thangs. family bidness. He shrugs. Where was he going with this before he got distracted by old cases? He must be getting too used to this place if he's okay with chatting about them to begin with. Then again, nothing wrong with admitting you deal with vengeful spirits on occasion in a place full of supernatural issues. It's when you admit you kill vamps and werewolves on a ship full of them that's a problem.... Anyway...] I don't know. It just seems like little things are building up. We're getting more information, sometimes literally through someone else's point of view in memories - but I get the feeling it's not gonna continue on like this without something big happening.

[For anyone interested in Offline. threads, Sam will be resting in the gardens; he's been sleeping a little more until he feels more up to speed, or will otherwise be combing his father's journal and some of the books he'd received from home to see if there's anything on 'haunted mirrors'. Just because they dealt with Bloody Mary doesn't mean this is the same kind of application of lore. He'll probably just end up nodding off here for a while until he's energized enough to drag himself back to his room. Maaaaybe he should be resting there. Whatever, hunter thug, don't need no sleep.

Library it is. Maybe he can find an e-book with anyyyy information on numbers and the importance of numbers in cultures from this universe. Chances are he'll find squat he can apply to the numbers on the walls, but it's better than having to sit still for a full week or something. And then maybe go to the med bay and make sure his nasty little row of sutures are doing okay. Hygiene is important mkay. Though he might be hobbling along like an old man until his back feels better. What a loser.]

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[ dean knows they're sharing things here, that this is a moment that's been long coming and he doesn't want to ruin it. but when sam says what he does, he can't help the sharp look he immediately has to throw his brother, the surprise bordering on frustration there. ]

Dude, don't say that. That's-- [ no. ] -- just don't. I know you won't believe me, but you're not the source of every problem ever, Sam. You not bein' around would-- it wouldn't be right. At all.

[ while he wishes sam could have a better life more often than not, dean can't stand the idea of a world without sam. ]

So don't think that, alright?

[He nods, soothed quietly by the reply. Dean wanting him around helps ease that weird suffocating feeling the admittance had brought. He knows it doesn't help, talking like that when he'd just so recently had that suicidal moment in the hallways... but he wanted to be honest. And that was honest.]

I'm just glad. Knowing more about her.

[He rubs the back of his head. Well, he's on a roll, and Dean's never given him this much room to talk about... stuff like this. So.]

You and dad used to get so upset when I brought her up, and I never really knew... I mean, she always seemed like such a big source of pain a lot of the time. It made it hard to see things the same way you and Dad did... Mom was just a face from a few pictures that made you two sad and angry about something for a long time.

[He sighs.]

I don't even know what I'm going on about anymore. Maybe the space drugs I'm on have adverse side effects.

[That, and he's really not sure how to voice his feelings to his family.

But that's nothing new.]

[ dean'll reflect back on this later, realize how they probably should do more of the whole one-on-one heart-to-heart business, but... well, it's never been really easy, has it? for either of them.

either way, right now he's not too surprised when sam keeps going... and what he says twists some guilt in his gut. he'd never thought about how it must have been coming across to sam, how he and their dad acting could have left an impression. it leaves him quiet for a long beat, and then only offers; ]

Wish I could tell you more 'bout her. Or something.

[ but even if he remembers her, dean had only been four himself.

anyway, dean smirks some, and then gives him a pointed look. ]

You've been out here for way too long, man.

[He goes from doe-eyed to disapproving.]

Been in a medical bed for too long.

[He finally starts unraveling his sandwich, a little grumbly.]

Since when are you a fan of anything resembling a hospital or doctors?

Since you needed both.

[ not like they have the same issues to worry about here like they do back home. that, and as said, it's sam in the bed, not him. ]

Take it easy, alright? Even if you are startin' to feel better.

[Ew, you're making him do a sad lovey-dovey brother face.

He nods though, swallowing hard.]

...Fine. But only for a little while.

No bitching when I finally flip my med bay bed.

[ gross. ]

Ain't gonna be my ass they grill when you do that.

[ but imagine all those angry nurses! not the worst thing. ]

[He rolls his eyes.]

They'll never catch me.

[He'll be as swift as a coursing river.]

[voice.] + [possible offline.]

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wow for some reason i never realized you tagged this back

hdu disowned!!!!

no chains self to X(!!!

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