ғɪʀsᴛ - ᴛᴇxᴛ - ᴘᴜʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ

[trouvaille]

So I'm actually going to do this. I don't know why, it's stupid, except I had this ex-boyfriend who used to talk about the things his psychologist spouted, like 'conscious dreaming' or something equally bollocky. How he had to learn to 'control his nightmares'. There's some bullshit about lightswitches that I wasn't really paying that much attention to, I can't stand those people.

So I am consciously engaging with this obvious delusional break, which is the grandest idea I've ever had, I'm certain. I just keep thinking, what would he make of this? The psychologist. Here I am. I've sent myself to space. In space I have provided myself with a cigarette, but not a fucking lighter, so what does that mean? What does it mean that I'm asking this question to, I don't know, my subconscious as represented by the internet, which is just spectacular. I've gone down the rabbit hole through my own navel. This is sad and pathetic and why didn't my subconscious just give me a bottle of vodka, I ask you. Me. You don't need a lighter with vodka unless you've got a very particular sort of party in mind.

I suppose I'm still asking me, because there isn't any you, that would be absurd.

( Ilde pulls the trigger on this post just to prove to herself that this isn't real (she is so nakedly, painfully afraid), because if this was real (is it worse if this is real, or if she really is completely mad?), she would never-- )

Comments

text;

[outliver]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, darling, but I'm very real.

You though? You write too much to be believable.

text;

[trouvaille]

Now my psychological break is being critiqued. Fantastic.

text;

[outliver]

Oh how the deluded have fallen, wouldn't you say?

text;

[trouvaille]

I can't be deluded and imaginary. You're going to have to pick one.

Video

[the_other_eight]

[Pepper does her best to offer a soft smile to the girl.]

I'm afraid it's very real.

[Not that the girl has any reason to believe her.]

audio »

[trouvaille]

( Ilde regards the video message with some vague suspicion, before compromising on a middle ground and responding audibly - her accent is plummy, upper-class, but not that of a native English speaker, even if she does hit the traditional received pronunciation very close to the mark. )

Then I don't suppose you'd happen to have a lighter on you.

Re: audio »

[the_other_eight]

[She frowns slightly.]

I can't say I do, but you can probably find one at the bar.

text;

[coolcubed]

Controlling your dreams is only worth it if you need to confront Freddy Krueger by deliberately bringing him into the waking world. But even when you do that, you still end up with six sequels, a bad crossover and a remake. So it's not really worth it at all.

And I've never been a figment of someone else's delusional break before, if that helps. I mean it wouldn't help me to hear that in the middle of a delusional break, because they're pretty preoccupying. You could be different, though.

text;

[trouvaille]

I think we can all get behind 'fuck that guy'. Why was there a remake? Jesus.

Apparently it's more likely that I'm sane, which I think even more strongly calls for the vodka.

text;

[coolcubed]

Interesting idea, lukewarm execution. There's been a surge in remakes in the past few years. A lot of franchises are just getting swept into the trend.

You'll probably be able to find vodka. But you should be prepared to work with a barter system. That seems like the kind of thing that would come into play in this situation.

[text]

[jurisimpudent]

As you have heard from others, this is indeed real, and we can indeed read what you just wrote. Would you care for assistance in the deletion of this post?

[text]

[trouvaille]

The horses appear to have already left the barn, but thank you.

( drawing attention to her discomfort is not, Ilde feels, a smart thing to do. grit her teeth, learn from her mistake, move on. )

[text]

[jurisimpudent]

As you see fit, ma'am. But there is a chance not everyone has seen it. It might be worth pursuing that chance.

[fatespoken]

i'm as fictional in yourahead, as you are in mine. and considering that not all of us can dream--

seems like you're not as imaginative as you thought.

[trouvaille]

It does seem unlikely that I'd create a scenario like this only to populate it with youtube commenters, but I can't say I envy someone whose idea of "imaginative" is comparable to a total delusional catatonia.

[fatespoken]

i can spell. not a youtube commenter.

come on, this isn't some david lynch movie. you're trapped in a spaceship with people from different universes. sounds coherent to me.

text;

[moonstruck]

[He responds to this only because he was of the exact same mind, when he first arrived. He would have used different words to describe his experience, maybe, but that's neither here nor there.]

I was of the same opinion as you when I arrived. Unfortunately this all appears to be very real.

text;

[trouvaille]

So I'm gathering. What exquisite bullshit that is.

text;

[moonstruck]

[Also not how he would put it, but.]

Would you have preferred the hallucination? I thought the same myself, and then I realized that perhaps that was a different set if problems to deal with altogether.

text

[meanwhileback]

My lighter didn't come with me either and I don't understand it. I don't understand fucking anything about this place, let's be real, but I don't understand why it hates our lighters so much specifically.

Hi, welcome to your wide-awake nightmare, I guess.

text

[trouvaille]

My genuinely deepest commiserations. It's like an insult to injury.

Thanks.

text

[meanwhileback]

What I don't get is why everybody else is so offended by the idea of being a figment of someone else's imagination. Like, would they rather this all be real life? Personally I find the idea of being fictional preferable in the fucking extreme.

( text ) comin in here late what now

[pushfall]

Armchair psychology is a bunch of crap.

( text ) look at u

[trouvaille]

I can't stand it, personally.

( text ) i do what i want

[pushfall]

For what it's worth I don't consider myself part of your subconscious. I'm a real boy. And all that. Well, a real girl. I'm not sure if that makes you feel better or worse, but hey I'm not a psychologist.