[010] VIDEO

[testgasm]

[This is a really crooked video feed, and the jerk recording it didn't even bother to wipe his nose before he started, as evidenced by the fact that his face is maybe a little covered in blood. Gross.]

This is a--this is a PSA--that is…public service announcement, for those of you not--not in the know, as far as acronyms are concerned.

I'm just going to start listing things, and if any of it sounds familiar, please come to--to collect your memories, I don't want them. I had more than enough of other people in my head back home, I didn't--

[Right, just give him a second to try and take care of that nosebleed.]

It didn't start out so bad, but now I'm pretty sure I'm dying, or my head is going to explode, or I'm going to leak out all my blood through my face, so if we could all--could get this sorted as fast as possible, I'd appreciate it.

[Here is a big, gross, snotty inhale, as if to emphasize that he is, in fact, dying. It sounds like SSNNNRRRKKK.

When that doesn't work, he drags a hand across his face, leaving an attractive smear of red up his cheek.]

If anyone has, at any point this month recalled not having any arms or legs or being a sort of--sort of ball-shaped robot, that's me, hello, and I'd like to--like to talk with you as soon as possible. Confusing, yes, I know, but seeing as I can't really put owners to the memories of…the monster fights and the gang fights, and the--you lot get in a good deal of fights, don't you?

[Cough. Sniff.]

Bill Murray. Is the bloke's name. If that sounds familiar to you. At all. You had a pretty good time, with him? In his house? To my understanding? Then he died. Your friend? Your friend shot him, but, uh, if I had a friend who went around shooting my other friends, I would sort of--sort of reevaluate where we stood, as far as our friendship was concerned. So, uh, sorry for your loss, either way. You can come get your memories, now.

Comments

[lostkings]

Y'know, half the time I didn't even know what I was seeing. Noisy though. Something about running tests?

[testgasm]

Well, you know, I'd imagine that I--I saw things differently, in my old body. But yeah, that's what I--what I did, run tests.

[lostkings]

It was pretty exciting, actually. And equal parts terrifying.

[testgasm]

Oh, yeah, I mean, it was--it was great, probably--probably the best thing I've ever felt, doing those tests.

[lostkings]

Seriously? I mean, yeah you seemed pretty pleased about the whole thing, but the best you've ever felt? Half the time I couldn't even tell what was going on.

[testgasm]

S'probably because your human brain didn't know how to process my robot memories.

[lostkings]

If that was true, then how did your robot brain process my human memories?

[testgasm]

Because, uh, I've had a human brain for something like two years now, I'm used to it, I know how it works.

[lostkings]

[ well if you're gonna be a smartass.... ] Any idea how one might burst from the inside out?

[testgasm]

What, a brain?

[lostkings]

Yeah, a brain.

[testgasm]

An exploding brain.

[lostkings]

Multiple.

[testgasm]

And...how...did they explode.

[lostkings]

You really want to know? Thought since you understood human brains so well....

[testgasm]

I'm pretty sure that exploding is not a normal thing for human brains to do, so yes.

[lostkings]

You've got two different options, then. Computer program that liquifies your brain, makes it ooze out from every hole you've got in your head. Or, or- you've got a pharmaceutical company handing out nootropic drugs that makes your brains emit a microwave burst that has it boiling from the inside out.

Pick your poison.

[testgasm]

Is this something that happened back home, then?