ataraxion | ( video )

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[ The video clicks on, and there's a lanky blonde, somewhat tall, a bit muscled - for a minute you might mistake him for another particular person on the ship. It's easy to do, for some reason, unless of course you notice the hair first - the hair's actually very wavy and somewhat curled, one long strand hanging down. He does have a resemblance, but his body language is all wrong, lazily propped back against the wall, glancing towards the camera. ]

[ There's also a polar bear. ]

[ Albeit, a very small, rather harmless-looking one. For a second, you hear a voice speaking in soft, accented French, obviously talking to - the bear? Though it stops after a moment, and directs itself to the video. Matthew clears his throat. ]

Excuse me? [ He pauses for a moment, and when no one answers right away he sort of - figures things out a bit! Right, right, so there's a network, this is easier to use than he thought. ]

So, this is the Tranquility, eh? [ He rubs the back of his head and grins. He's soft-spoken, but raises his voice a little. ] And we're in space. If… [ He waves a casual hand around. ] This is any inclination?

[ Alright. He can do this. He's been to space before! - Really! He has. What. ] So, this is Matthew Williams or - Canada, if you'd rather. Sorry, uh. I don't suppose anyone has any aspirin, or anything? My head's been killing me since I got here. [ Never mind all the rather crazy, insane things he's been told by the people around him. It's enough to give anyone a headache. ]

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_{[ ... and he starts doing what he was doing before...
phew, that was close. He thought maybe his brother had appeared on the Tranquility, but thankfully he's safe at home! It's just somebody who looks a lot like hi-- ]}

_{[ w...a...it a second. ]}

_{[ WAIT A GOSH DARN SECOND.... ]}

_{[ He runs back over and turns on the feed, too disoriented to hold the communicator up straight. He then yells into it. ]}

OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT.
CANADIA!!! BRO, DUDE!!!

YOU MADE IT HERE. OH GOD.. THIS IS GREAT, BUT HORRIBLE TOO. MAN.
I.. DUDE!!!

WHERE ARE YOU AT RIGHT NOW!?!

[ Oh, his headache just got worse -- ]

[ And then he tries talking to America, because, you know, that's always worked. ]

What do you mean you thought I was - you realize this is - America why won't you listen to me!

[ But that's just talked over. Canada grits his teeth and rubs his temples, and just sighs. Well! He knows how to contact him if he needs to. He really doesn't need...to talk to him....right now.

Maybe after aspirin. ]

[ And then the feed clicks back on and he's met once more with America shouting into the communicator. Right as he was going to try and leave. He's a little blown back, but also happy to see him - mostly. ]

America, you look -

- It's Canada, by the way -

- Well enough. I'm in room 189. Um, I'd give you the directions but I'm not really too familiar with this place.

_{[ He finally adjusts the communicator so he isn't upside down and smiles. It's a pretty sincere smile; as passive aggressive as Canada is.. its passive aggression and not full out aggression. In fact, America is oblivious to his passive aggressiveness most of the time.

Then he forgets about the passive aggressiveness.

Then he forgets about Canada all together.

Nevertheless, he perks up. ]}

Oh man! This is heavy; heavy shit! The American Bros in space together! Hahhahaha! Oh my God, it's like awesome! You can be my back up, got it? We're going to help each other out through this! And I'll start by informing you about this place!

_{[ Everything is explained quickly and loudly, so I hope you understand. ]}

Okay!! So basically we're brought on this place for some reason! Nobody knows why yet so it's pretty gay. Whatever!
Some of us are taken from different time periods; sometimes different universes! Fictional people are real, and it's like 900 some years After Earth!

Okay, that's really freaky! But I think it's an alternate Earth... I don't know. Hahahaa, I say that so I won't lose my shit but I hardly lose my shit anyway so what ever.

Riiiiight! I also work in the gunnery; so I shoot enemy ships down, but fortunately we haven't really had any of those.
We also do the jump goop shit every month, so I hope you like that!

Also, stay away from Hungary here; she's bat shit and tried to kill me!
Belarus, Austria, Netherlands, Japan, Japan-with-tits, and Russia are here! But I was here before Russia, that's important!

So!

You get it? That make sense?

Captain Kirk and Doctor Who are also here!! And these gray alien guys! And robots and .. and space! We're in space!!

Oh yeah! France is here too but I haven't seen him around much. He's probably being naked and striking from everything ever cause he's a loser.

Okay!!! Also, if you could be a dude-man and fill out this form, that'd be kick ass, my brother form another mother. Don't question it; just be of some use for a change and fill this out, okay?

_{[ Canada then gets a text with this form attached. ]}

HUMAN NAME: COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: LANGUAGE(S): DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: WHAT YEAR IS IT: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): TEA OR COFFEE: ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: WHO WON THE COLD WAR: DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND:

Edited 2012-02-09 18:45 (UTC)

[ Of course, of course. He's actually kind of happy to see him. Really happy. Despite any sort of passive aggressive barbs that may be interjected, they're too quiet to hear anyway and Canada knows it. He just sort of - nods through America's long-winded explanation, able to get enough from it that he can somewhat understand what's going on.

After Earth, that doesn't sound good. But he's still alive. He thinks. And so is America, and Russia, and apparently France, and Hungary...and a slew of other people. At least he's not really alone in this. And why would he like the goop? That was awful. Awful. ]

Yeah, that makes sense. [ Mostly. ]

[ And then he responds to the text after some time, filling in all the answers. Don't you already know all this about him? Sigh. ]

HUMAN NAME: Matthew Williams

COUNTRY NAME / REPRESENTATIVE: Canada

LANGUAGE(S): Officially English and French.

DO YOU HAVE A DICK OR TITS: -- Male.

WHAT YEAR IS IT: 2012

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AFFILIATED WITH THE SOVIET UNION: No…?

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED BEING APART OF THE SOVIET UNION BEFORE IT FELL: No.

DO YOU WISH THE SOVIET UNION WAS STILL TOGETHER: I don't think so?

ARE YOU A COMMUNIST: No.

IF NOT, WHAT TYPE IS YOUR GOVERNMENT: Parliamentary Democracy and a Constitutional Monarchy

DO YOU SPELL WORDS WITH A "U" IN THEM FOR NO REASON (exp: colour, harbour): Those words do have 'u' in them, Alfred.

TEA OR COFFEE: Both.

ARE YOU IN HEAVY DEBT: Erm, well, it's gotten worse recently.

DOES MR. AMERICA CURRENTLY OWE YOU ANYTHING: Not…really.

ARE YOU AN AXIS POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE AXIS POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): Not applicable.

ARE YOU AN ALLIED POWERS / HAVE BEEN IN THE ALLIED POWERS (SPECIFY WHICH): I have been an Allied Power. You know all these answers.

ARE YOU NEUTRAL OR PREFER NEUTRALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR HISTORY: Neutrality isn't that bad, but I'm not always neutral.

DO YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HOSTILITY TOWARDS CAPITALISM, AMERICANS, MR. AMERICA, FREEDOM OF SPEECH, HAMBURGERS AND/OR RONALD MCDONALD OR THE FACT AMERICA WAS THE FIRST ON THE MOON: No.

WHO WON THE COLD WAR: I thought it just sort of…stopped.

DO YOU HATE ENGLAND, OR ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH ENGLISHMEN (exp: big brows, bad cooking, tophats, monocles): No, I don't hate him.

IS MR. AMERICA YOUR HERO OR HAS AIDED YOU IN THE PAST WHICH YOU ARE GRATEFUL FOR: Now you're just trying to feed your own ego.

IF NOT, DO YOU WISH HE WAS YOUR HERO: …

CAN HE BE YOUR FRIEND: Yeah, sure.

-

[ And back to video. ]

I don't understand how this helps anything.

Excellent!! Awesome! Hot damn!

_{[ His eyes scan over the form for a moment as he falls silent, then he looks at Canada with a smile. ]}

Another 2012! That's great! When I left, the year was 2011, right before Christmas.

Hungary and Austria are from the Cold War period, so be sensitive about that subject!
And the Japan with boobies? She thinks she's an Empire. Apparently there's a universe of us-with-tits since she said America from her world was a girl!

MAN. I bet she's hot!

Anyway, dude. It's a lot of confusing alternate universe different time line space time continuum crap that I don't feel like explaining (aka: cannot explain), but...

_{[ He sounds a little more sincere. ]}

It's super seeing you here.
You've also been tampered with and are not immortal, so calm your tits and don't pick any fights while you're here, 'kay?

..

Not like you do anyway unless it's over hockey, so whatever man. Try not to get killed.

Not much has really changed since then, really. [ He supposes the form sort of makes sense, keeping track of where everyone comes from and what to expect - ]

...Us with - what? [ What. What. What do you mean us with tits. What do you mean Japan's a girl. And...America as a girl. Agh, weird images. Get out of his head. ] I'm...sure. And it sounds like it. Like maybe we were just plucked from different points in time, and somehow were transported into...this time. Right...

[ This is not making his head feel much better, but he is happy to see Alfred doing well, honestly, he is. ]

I don't usually pick fights, y'know. You're more prone to do that than I am. [ In fact, how are you even alive, America. ]

[ He grumbles something in particular about hockey - probably something to do with losing the Stanley Cup to an American team last year, but it's mostly under his breath. ]

Hahahahhaa!! Yeahhhh, man! Just you wait! Sakura is around here somewhere; she annexed the kitchen! She's totally batshit like all the other girls here!

_{[ And America, well, he's not quite as sane as he should be, but hopefully he'll get over that.
His right eyes twitches a bit as he holds a smile. ]}

---Staying here after awhile with no porn also gets to you a lot, hahhahahaa!
Oh, and the fact you're worried about home and if you'll ever get back to the same universe, same time.....
H...ahahahaahehe.. hah--

....I'm a hero---!

Is she? [ He's sort of passively responding to this, not really sure how to...think about it? How does one annex a kitchen? ]

[ He frowns after a moment, because oh, America, you're getting that look, and that's always worrying. It's a little understandable in this situation, and he swallows, letting America ramble on for a moment - ]

You realize you could always just...think about it, and jerk off to that. Or find a willing partner. Porn isn't everything.

[ He pauses another moment, and adds, maybe a little more sincere: ]

I'm sure you'll figure a way out of this soon, eh?

_{[ A willing partner... THAT IS THE PROBLEM, CANADA. ]}

Uh.
Uuuhhh.

Everybody here is too busy for that, I guess! Besides Hungary and Austria, but Hungary tried to kill me so like.. it's really not smart to make out with somebody right after they tried to kill you.

.... I'll give it a month or so.
But I'm also in this competition with Russia, yeah! I told him that I bet I could make out with a girl with proof before he could, so I gotta find somebody quick!

Erm. I would imagine so, what with everything going on? Still, what with... uh, urges, and everything ... [ This is making him awkward. He makes a little bit of a face. ] These things have a tendency to sort themselves out. Just...find a way to relieve stress, right?

Tried to kill you? What happened? [ What did you do, America. ] And no. It's...um, it's really not.

[ Oh good. You're competing with Russia again. Yeah, that's cool. Canada raises his brows, leaning in to the camera. ] You're not going to kiss Hungary, I imagine - who are you going to kiss, anyway? I mean...if no one seems interested at the moment, that makes it a little more difficult, right?

_{[ America fumbles around a little bit, putting a lock on the communicator, then he leans in, a glint in his eyes. ]}

---That is what you're here for, bro!! Here's what I'm thinking:
Put you in some drag or something. I know we can find the right materials for it somewhere on this ship...
And we'll like.. you know, uh... stage kiss! No homo, nothing real! But a really, REALLY good stage kiss!
And I'll video record it!

Sound boss? Good! I knew you'd agree to it!

[ What. ]

[ How do you know where to find drag materials, anyway. ]

[ If you can find a girl to let her borrow her dresses and make-up, can't you just kiss her instead? ]

[ Why is he your brother. ]

Uhh. Stage kiss. As in no actual - kiss? [ He could go on about how this is a really, really bad idea, and his shoulders are too broad to be a girl in any case. But he'll do that later. ]

What exactly are you betting for?

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herocomplex - 2012-02-13 06:36 (UTC) - Expand

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ohcanada - 2012-02-13 06:58 (UTC) - Expand

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