[text] eridan's guide to being an unofficial spokesperson

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhen i used to make these announcements i alwways directed them at humans on the ship instead a the nonhumans wwhich honestly is an awwful ovversight a mine
after all there are plenty a resources startin out here talkin about human this an human that so it only makes sense to say somethin to those a us wwho arent evvolvved from bipedal earthen troglodytes

for evveryone wwho isnt human an wwho probably has nevver seen a human before in their life youvve got twwo wways a dealin wwith this neww situation
one a em is if you look human an shit
then you just pass an nobody cares if youre not human
the other is if you dont look human
like say you havve horns or fins or gray skin as an example
or you got eyes that dont look right to humans or you havve an ugly huge inflated blue head
wwhatevver theres a lot a wways you can not look human
but either wway if you dont look human expect people to ask you wwhat you are
sometimes nicely
sometimes rudely
its just normal human behavvior to be completely fuckin impossible to guess wwhat theyre gonna do next

also if you cant keep them straight at first dont wworry humans all look alike for the first couple a months then you start noticin differences an shit
i used to use my comm to take pictures of people wwho i interacted wwith a lot so id remember them
that might help if youre noticin all their noses are generally straightbridged an their eyes are kind a this dumb murky brown or this weird murky blue or any other murky color
otherwwise you kind a havve to get used to it because humans are the predominant species on the ship an thats just the way things work

an noww like usual
if youre human an you see there are nonhumans runnin around bein vvisibly nonhuman could you do us all a huge favvor an not immediately ask to touch their random nonhuman extremities like horns or ears or hair or skin or extra arm or wwhatevver an just not do that
keep your questions brief an dont stare cos more n likely wwe dont havve time to deal wwith you or your bullshit

thats all i got i guess its been like three jumps since i made an announcement a this type on the netwwork

Comments

[coffeeking]

When the hell did you take that?

[a beat]

And where's my copy?

[uncodlyawwesome]

you dont get one

[51stcentury]

Nah. He's got his own personal copy right here. [W I N K]

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwoww thanks harkness as if my tactful rebuttal wwasnt an obvvious reference to the fact that you twwo are matesprits
glad you could help clear up my repartee for jones

[51stcentury]

Any time. [And any excuse you can give him to be a complete ham, really.]

[uncodlyawwesome]

youre completely fuckin incorrigible you knoww that

[coffeeking]

I still want a copy.

[Nope, you are not getting away with giving Eridan a smoldering picture if Ianto doesn't get one. See these folded arms? Yeah.]

[uncodlyawwesome]

take your owwn if you wwant one so much cod its like you dont evven knoww you can do that

[51stcentury]

Fine, fine.

[Ianto gets his own copy. Plus a little something extra. Far be it from Jack Harkness to miss a chance to get naked. Or make sure that there's evidence of such.] There. Happy?

[[ooc: second picture might be sliiightly nsfw? I COULD HAVE PICKED A WORSE ONE you got off easy.]]

[coffeeking]

[ . . . ]

That depends. Will you be getting back soon?

[Or will he have to deal with this little problem himself?]

[51stcentury]

On my way now.

[Jack Harkness, optionally pass up an opportunity such as the one that is obviously presenting itself in front of him? Never.]

[coffeeking]

Looking forward to it.