[text] eridan's guide to being an unofficial spokesperson

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhen i used to make these announcements i alwways directed them at humans on the ship instead a the nonhumans wwhich honestly is an awwful ovversight a mine
after all there are plenty a resources startin out here talkin about human this an human that so it only makes sense to say somethin to those a us wwho arent evvolvved from bipedal earthen troglodytes

for evveryone wwho isnt human an wwho probably has nevver seen a human before in their life youvve got twwo wways a dealin wwith this neww situation
one a em is if you look human an shit
then you just pass an nobody cares if youre not human
the other is if you dont look human
like say you havve horns or fins or gray skin as an example
or you got eyes that dont look right to humans or you havve an ugly huge inflated blue head
wwhatevver theres a lot a wways you can not look human
but either wway if you dont look human expect people to ask you wwhat you are
sometimes nicely
sometimes rudely
its just normal human behavvior to be completely fuckin impossible to guess wwhat theyre gonna do next

also if you cant keep them straight at first dont wworry humans all look alike for the first couple a months then you start noticin differences an shit
i used to use my comm to take pictures of people wwho i interacted wwith a lot so id remember them
that might help if youre noticin all their noses are generally straightbridged an their eyes are kind a this dumb murky brown or this weird murky blue or any other murky color
otherwwise you kind a havve to get used to it because humans are the predominant species on the ship an thats just the way things work

an noww like usual
if youre human an you see there are nonhumans runnin around bein vvisibly nonhuman could you do us all a huge favvor an not immediately ask to touch their random nonhuman extremities like horns or ears or hair or skin or extra arm or wwhatevver an just not do that
keep your questions brief an dont stare cos more n likely wwe dont havve time to deal wwith you or your bullshit

thats all i got i guess its been like three jumps since i made an announcement a this type on the netwwork

Comments

[purrfectlycute]

:33 < i fur one havent had much purroblem with my non-human appurrance!
:33 < almost every human ive come across has treated me with the same kindness and respect as their own kind
:33 < and the ones who didnt were kinda jerks in the furst place so i dont think it had anything to do with my race
:33 < id say the general rule is...
:33 < if youre nice and polite to someone on board, theyll be the same!

:33 < btw eridan have you s33n equius around?
:33 < we were suppawsed to m33t up after the jump but he hasnt showed up and hes not respawnding to texts

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwell yeah okay but youre you
its different

an lets be honest i havvent been the best at keepin track a those a us around here so im not the best one to ask
but i havvent seen him so far this jump
hes probably just bein a creepy lurker somewwhere

[purrfectlycute]

:33 < whats that suppawsed to mean??

:33 < and yeah thats what i think too im just getting a little worried
:33 < which is kinda silly i know i just cant help it!
:33 < thanks anyway
:33 < if you s33 him could you please tell him im looking fur him?

[uncodlyawwesome]

i dont knoww people just generally dont wwanna hassle you
youre just that wweird cavvedwwellin roleplay girl

an yeah ill tell him
im tellin you though he probably is readin this right noww an makin that wweird face wwith his teeth showwin

[purrfectlycute]

:33 < wow thanks
:33 < fur a sec i almost thought you were going to be sw33t! >:PP

:33 < *snerk*
:33 < thats assuming he isnt sweating so much that his communicator slips right out of his grasp!
:33 < *sigh* i was kinda joking but now im wondering if thats why he isnt answering back
:33 < oops

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhat about that wwas an insult you ARE the cavvedwwellin roleplay girl after all

wwell maybe you should go to his room an find him
hes probably sittin there noww tryin to keep a hold a his communicator like a wet bar a soap
muttering fakeass fuckin swwears under his breath

[livingforce]

Are humans the majority here?

[uncodlyawwesome]

to say the least
yeah they are
theyre such a majority that im pretty sure this univverse doesnt havve different sentient species

[livingforce]

I suspect the universe is more diverse than anyone will ever fully appreciate.

Is there much prejudice against the more diverse species on board?

[uncodlyawwesome]

probably its a big place after all
evvery univverse is

not really i mean you get dumb questions an shit but other than that its mostly just awwkwward looks an then general acceptance
most a the time at least
im not gonna pretend to think theres nobody on this ship wwho wwould lovve to cause trouble wwith us nonhumans i knoww all about that kind a shit but they havvent done anythin yet so i guess wwere ok

[livingforce]

That's a relief, at least.

Might I ask you name, by the way?

[uncodlyawwesome]

oh yeah
im eridan

[klutziness]

[SUCK ON THESE BRIGHT GREEN, SWIRLY-PUPILED EYES okay mostly she is just squinting with them a little]

Either your keyboard is broken or that's some kinda language thing. I'm gonna guess the second one. And I think I've seen it before.

[uncodlyawwesome]

[AND BECAUSE HE'S A DICK hes going to continue using his awful terrible quirk. im really very sorry]

ugh NO my keyboard isnt broken its a fuckin quirk all trolls havve one i dont understand wwhy this is so coddamn complicated

wwait youvve seen it before

[klutziness]

[WOW JERK nah it's ok she's been equally jerky over the past few days]

Uh, maybe 'cause not everybody knows what trolls are and yelling at them for being ignorant doesn't clear that up? And yeah, there were a couple kids back in The City that did that, with the colors and the weird texting. One chick did a weird smiley face thing with asterisks everywhere.

[uncodlyawwesome]

youd think theyd be smart enough to figure out that im typin like this on purpose i mean i go through the effort a changin my font color an im pretty fuckin consistent in my quirk so you knoww
i just assume people are smarter than they are

wwhich wweird smiley face
::::)
or
:33
or }:)
or
shit i dont knoww all a em wwhatevver the point stands a lot a us do wweird faces
also wwhat city

[klutziness]

A little help never hurt anyone. And word would probably get around if you explained it now and then.

Well all of those, over the past few years. People come and go. And it's just called The City--no, I didn't name it, and I know it's silly sounding.

[uncodlyawwesome]

i guess i just dont see it bein a thing to explain
it seems too fuckin obvvious to me
i mean i guess if youd nevver seen a computer before in your life an didnt knoww you could change your font color or type in interestin wways to differentiate yourself from the rest a the herd then yeah i wwould explain it
but otherwwise cmon its obvvious im doin this on purpose

after bein here from the first jump nothin seems silly to me any more
especially since a bunch a people showw up knowwin others from some random place
kar showwed up thinkin robots wwere evvil an jack showwed up bein all chummy
yeah its pretty normal actually

still couldnt havve hurt to bring a couple a them wwith you
obvviously youre not in charge a that though im just lamentin

video forever; because he's jack

[51stcentury]

That mean you've got a picture of me floating around somewhere then, Eridan?

text; because hes flustered (also i was gonna go to bed but you tagged and i need this)

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhat no

i mean yes obvviously you looked like evvery other pink skinned humanoid wwhen i got here so i needed the reference
its not like youre special or anythin i did it to evveryone

(lolsob sorry i was going to tag this half an hour earlier but i got called away. BUT HERE I AM NOW)

[51stcentury]

So you don't have the picture still? [Oh he is enjoying this far too much, and letting it show just enough but not enough to make it seem like he's rubbing it in.] Some people would pay good money for a decent photo of me, you know. And have. I mean, look at this jawline.

1/2 (its ok i understand we have very different schedules lmao its all good)

[uncodlyawwesome]

firstly your jawwline is okay at best so dont try that wwith me an secondly i dont delete things that might come in handy later

2/2 b/c he's still a sassy little bitch

[uncodlyawwesome]

after all maybe ill need to sell it at the next wwaystation wwe accidentally run into for information
dont havve a lot a bargainin chips so ill take wwhat i can get

[51stcentury]

[Please, Eridan, he's handsome and he knows it. And he knows you know it on some level too, for that matter, he's seen that purple blush.]

Alright, alright. You know you'd get more with a better picture, though, yeah? Judging by the fact I didn't know you had one, I bet it's pretty poor quality. [Jack you are a wicked man]

[uncodlyawwesome]

i dont need another picture a you i already havve one thats enough for me