ataraxion | video.

Oh, my god.

[ stiles' voice has the kind of self-contained excitement in it that someone might get upon being given a quad bike for their fourteenth birthday. or, you know, a pony. there's that same kind of delighted anticipation of fun times ahead. ]

You guys will not believe what I found.

[ his voice is pitchy and he's in close up in the dim light, eyes wide and too-dark in his pale face, before he turns to film... well. ]

An actual freaking body!

[ which is all the warning given for the squeamish before it's on camera. the body is very clearly human, even if all its distinguishing features have been removed. its pieces join unnaturally together, arm sewn to shoulder to torso to leg, and the whole thing hangs suspended from several strings, like a puppet. ]

[ stiles fumbles the camera back to himself. he swallows. it's cool, but also, you know, he's kind of creeped himself out already just wondering if the killer might still be around. but that's not exactly a thought he's about to put voice to. ]

I'm about fifteen minutes heading left from the Shuttle Bay, I think, if someone wants to come cut it down.

(( as per dex and bri's excellent adventure. eta action for investigators. ))

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... That is way more innocent than my answer, so sure, we'll go with that.

Elephant slurry qualifies as innocent? I mean, I guessed elephants because it's always elephants in these jokes.

[Enjoy Harry's expression of 'eww, elephant in a blender'.]

You can't just say that and leave it as is.

Well, the right answer's just, uh, "an elephant".

[Slow blink.

...and then he's laughing. Clearly, there's something fundamentally wrong with the pair of them that they can tell awful jokes while there's a creepy puppet body behind Stiles, but that's an issue for another day.]

That's awful.

[ stiles is grinning himself. it's easy to forget about the grim scene behind him — and the possibility that he might join the victim just by hanging around too long — when there's laughter on the other end of the line. ]

I know, right? I probably shouldn't be breaking out the dirty jokes, there are, as I'm being reminded, children watching this stuff.

[ heavy eye rolling. ]

Does anyone know how young the youngest here are?

[He's fairly sure that at sixteen, hearing the elephant joke wouldn't have scarred him for life.]

I've seen like, one little girl. Oh, and I think Bran Stark's all of ten.

[Harry frowns. Those are pretty young kids and that's troubling.]

You'd think there'd be a way to filter unpleasant things to adults only?

You mean a parental lock? Man, I dunno, I'm no coding expert. You'd have to ask someone better with computers about something like that.

Generally I think kids should be told the truth, but there's a different between telling them there's a danger and ...

[Well, looking at dead people.

Harry makes a face and realizes he's not being particularly helpful.]

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

I've been thinking that I really ought to learn about them a bit more. We don't really have them back home.

Hey, never a bad idea to learn more stuff. Are you Amish or something?

Something like that, I think? I'm not too sure what Amish is, but if they don't have computers, that'd be us.

We do have magic, though. If the Remus you know is the one I know, he's one of us.

The Remus I know is—

[ he almost finishes with "a werewolf", but he's not dumb enough to go telling people that secret, tries to keep it on the downlow. ]

A cool guy.

[ not an awkward cover at all. ]

I hang out with a lot of, uh, cool guys, so we bonded.

I can't imagine there's too many of them here.

People named Remus, I mean. Not 'cool guys'.

[It's official, he sounds utterly ridiculous saying 'cool guys'.]

Oh. Yeah, you're probably right. I'm Stiles, by the way, did I mention?

[ he didn't, but it explains why he takes weird names for granted. ]

You didn't and it's good to meet you, Stiles. I'm Harry.

Yeah, you too. Thanks for — this.

[ having someone to just chat to, laugh with, that makes him feel way better than people insisting he can't possibly be okay. ]

It's no problem. I know how it goes.

[...with the dead people?]

You do?

I do. We had a war back home.

A war in your country?

[ because technically america has a war, but it doesn't exactly brush stiles' life all that much, not unless he decides to enlist. but if harry's talking about bodies... ]

That sucks. Sorry, bro.

[ not exactly much of a consolation, but he doesn't know what else to say. even stiles isn't ignorant enough of social etiquette to press for the details, and given there's a body nearby, he kind of doesn't want them right now. ]

Guess that explains why you're telling jokes and not, you know, shouting at me in a panic.

It happens.

[He shrugs his shoulders and while he's not happy about a war having happened, he's not particularly broken up about it. Wars and Dark Lords are just a part of life, he supposes.]

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Also, I am a weenus. When I don't delete tags after answering them, you get weird double-responses.

especially delightful because they were so thoroughly different. i just picked one.

btw, the answer is so they can hide in boxes of Smarties.

cracks up

tip your waiter and try the fish.

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