01. first sequence | audio

[synchronizes]

Couldn't imagine a friendlier welcome than getting attacked by space pirates. And here I thought this was going to be more the dinner show and buffet type of cruise. 

Guess that's why they call it the Tranquility.

Anyway, so I've got two questions:

The thing I don't get is-- we've been kidnapped from our... worlds, but where are we going exactly? They kind of forgot to put that on the brochure. [ that, and everything else. like why they need to kidnap someone in the middle of extremely important business ]   Not trying to sound ungrateful, because hey, I'm in space.  Fulfilling the fantasy of every 10 year old kid. Still, it would've been nice if they'd let me clear my schedule first.

And number #2: anyone looking for a bartender?

Comments

audio

[idkmybffbloodwing]

Sounds like someone didn't read the FAQ, huh? Nobody knows where we're goin'.

But there's always room for another bartender. Got a couple on board already. Talk to Wichita, she's there the most. Prob'ly knows if there's a spot on the schedule that needs someone.

audio | oops!!

[synchronizes]

I read the FAQ. Just wanted to see if anyone knew anything different. [ A beat. ] Can't always trust everything on the page.

[ If only Shaun was here to hear that last remark. ]

Wichita, huh? Interesting name.

audio

[idkmybffbloodwing]

Nothin' wrong with a bit of healthy skepticism. Far's I can tell, though, the information on that post is pretty solid.

Is it?

Audio

[skindeep]

[He's actually worried about where they might be going. Now, anyway. But Noah keeps that sort of thing to himself, so his voice comes across as cheerful as ever.]

I wanted fingerpaints and an iguana when I was 10. Clearly I was something of an underachiever.

audio

[synchronizes]

Hey, I was just talking to someone who was fixing spaceship parts at 10. Talk about underachieving.

audio

[skindeep]

Don't sell yourself short. A bartender will certainly come in handy around here. Especially after jumps.

permavoice

[unionjackass]

Irony isn't lost on the universe. It's a passable consolation in my opinion.

I'm sorry to say I don't have an answer for your first question, but as for your second-- I would be exceedingly grateful for both a bar and a bartender, yes.

permavoice

[synchronizes]

Seems like the universal language of the universe, next to sarcasm.

[ No, really. ]

Lucky for you, there's already a bar here.

[unionjackass]

God--I've been here nearly a month now and I ought to have known. Granted, I just spent the last several weeks wandering aimlessly. I'd say no longer being lost on this floating nightmare is a good enough reason for a stiff drink.

As for sarcasm, I like to think of it as a form of legitimate self-expression that's very under-appreciated. [And he? Considers himself an artist with it.

It's a form of relief and not just the comic sort.]

text

[doggedly]

do not critique the brochures they are sacred
no one is going to help you if you critique THE BROCHURES

text

[synchronizes]

what?
did i just insult the space bible?

text

[doggedly]

yes you did
i would post a redaction if i were you before the scholars and keepers of the handbook descend upon you

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

I was learning how to fix spaceship parts when I was ten.

[ You Earth people. ]

audio;

[synchronizes]

Well, I was- [ learning to be a failassassin. ]-... okay, I can't top that.

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

Not everyone here is from Earth. It might be a good idea to remember that.

[ Not a threat, not even anger. Carolyn's just trying to be helpful, and she's sort of amused. ]

[culver]

I wish I knew where we were going.

[synchronizes]

you'd think they'd give us a clue. or some cryptic babble that messes with our heads, but at least it's something.

[endeavors]

I'm hoping Earth. Crossing my fingers and everything.

[synchronizes]

Problem is -- which earth?

voice;

[cons]

So you're a bartender, huh?

[ ohgod, yessss. they're always looking for people to bartend that actually know what they're doing. she'll try and play it cool though. ]

voice;

[synchronizes]

One of my few talents. [ bar tending: universally useful skill. ] Always wanted to serve a Sidecar on a spaceship.

[voice]

[circumitus]

The details on where has never been specific. Can't offer much solace there.

...A bartender does sound nice, though. [Rey is terrible at serving her own drinks.]

[voice]

[synchronizes]

I think I figured out why I'm here. Whoever's in charge thought you guys needed a bartender, and hey, here I am.

audio

[soyed]

That's just one of the many perks of this unplanned trip to space. No one knows, no one probably will ever know, and that's not the worst part about being here.

audio

[synchronizes]

What's the worst part?

[ ... does he really want to hear it. ]