01. first sequence | audio

[synchronizes]

Couldn't imagine a friendlier welcome than getting attacked by space pirates. And here I thought this was going to be more the dinner show and buffet type of cruise. 

Guess that's why they call it the Tranquility.

Anyway, so I've got two questions:

The thing I don't get is-- we've been kidnapped from our... worlds, but where are we going exactly? They kind of forgot to put that on the brochure. [ that, and everything else. like why they need to kidnap someone in the middle of extremely important business ]   Not trying to sound ungrateful, because hey, I'm in space.  Fulfilling the fantasy of every 10 year old kid. Still, it would've been nice if they'd let me clear my schedule first.

And number #2: anyone looking for a bartender?

Comments

audio

[idkmybffbloodwing]

Sounds like someone didn't read the FAQ, huh? Nobody knows where we're goin'.

But there's always room for another bartender. Got a couple on board already. Talk to Wichita, she's there the most. Prob'ly knows if there's a spot on the schedule that needs someone.

audio | oops!!

[synchronizes]

I read the FAQ. Just wanted to see if anyone knew anything different. [ A beat. ] Can't always trust everything on the page.

[ If only Shaun was here to hear that last remark. ]

Wichita, huh? Interesting name.

audio

[idkmybffbloodwing]

Nothin' wrong with a bit of healthy skepticism. Far's I can tell, though, the information on that post is pretty solid.

Is it?

Audio

[skindeep]

[He's actually worried about where they might be going. Now, anyway. But Noah keeps that sort of thing to himself, so his voice comes across as cheerful as ever.]

I wanted fingerpaints and an iguana when I was 10. Clearly I was something of an underachiever.

permavoice

[unionjackass]

Irony isn't lost on the universe. It's a passable consolation in my opinion.

I'm sorry to say I don't have an answer for your first question, but as for your second-- I would be exceedingly grateful for both a bar and a bartender, yes.

text

[doggedly]

do not critique the brochures they are sacred
no one is going to help you if you critique THE BROCHURES

audio;

[suddenlycaptain]

I was learning how to fix spaceship parts when I was ten.

[ You Earth people. ]

audio;

[synchronizes]

Well, I was- [ learning to be a failassassin. ]-... okay, I can't top that.

audio

[synchronizes]

Hey, I was just talking to someone who was fixing spaceship parts at 10. Talk about underachieving.

text

[synchronizes]

what?
did i just insult the space bible?

permavoice

[synchronizes]

Great. [ Just great. ] That means we don't know our estimated flight time.

Yeah, it's a place where I come from. A city.

permavoice

[synchronizes]

Seems like the universal language of the universe, next to sarcasm.

[ No, really. ]

Lucky for you, there's already a bar here.

[culver]

I wish I knew where we were going.

[idkmybffbloodwing]

Nope. An' I dunno that we really wanna find out what's at the end of the ride, either, with how Ward was actin' toward those pirates.

So you're from Earth then, I'm guessing?

audio

[skindeep]

Don't sell yourself short. A bartender will certainly come in handy around here. Especially after jumps.

[endeavors]

I'm hoping Earth. Crossing my fingers and everything.

text

[doggedly]

yes you did
i would post a redaction if i were you before the scholars and keepers of the handbook descend upon you

[synchronizes]

Well, we're going to have to deal with it anyway. Better we find out sooner than later.

[ A short laugh. ]

That obvious?

audio

[synchronizes]

Don't doubt it. No one needs an excuse to drink, but when you actually have one... like waking up in a tank of goo?

[ Then they're bound to come in droves. ]

Still, I can't really compare mixing a Manhattan to say, fixing a space ship engine.

[synchronizes]

Problem is -- which earth?

text

[synchronizes]

hey let them come
maybe i'll get to tell them how much their guide stinks

[synchronizes]

you'd think they'd give us a clue. or some cryptic babble that messes with our heads, but at least it's something.

[culver]

There is cryptic babble sometimes.

text

[doggedly]

oh they DEFINITELY do not take kindly to that
1000 spaceyrs in the brig at least
and do you know how long a spaceyr is

[endeavors]

[Silence.]

Good question.