very important text + distributed fliers

[doggedly]

ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION
URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT URGENT


enclosed please find this very important poll. the answers are a matter of life & probably death. it is of the utmost importance that everyone answer this poll to the best of their abilities. what may seem to you as gossip is actually IMPORTANT so please take this very very seriously and consider your answers carefully. the answer that results in the best results to this poll will be rewarded handsomely.


1. do you know lucrezia borgia
2. who is lucrezia borgia's LOVER



very simple. thank you for your time & consideration & your help is greatly appreciated. remember there is a REWARD for the revelation of the LOVER

sincerely yrs,
the Band Of Lovely Lovers-possibly-Opposed-to luCrezia's Killer Sexlife (BoLLOCKS)

:)


[physical copies of this message can also be found 1. permanent sticking charm'd to Lucrezia's door 2. folded up as paper aeroplanes and flying around in the air, possibly bumping repeatedly into your head as they try to get your attention. eventually they will fade and fall to the floor and then the roombas can have a grand old time.]

Comments

[assumedposition]

I suppose... but how would you suggest I do that?

[twitterpate]

Follow the paper trail! They can't be leaving them all over the place all at once. Must have started somewhere, of course.

Don't tell me you never fancied playing the detective, Al.

[assumedposition]

Of course I have, once or twice... but I mean-- I don't even know which direction these are coming from! They're everywhere!

[twitterpate]

They didn't stick themselves up there! We could take every single one down, then lie in wait. That's what detectives would do.

[assumedposition]

Lie in wait-- where? This ship is huge!

I can't believe I'm being the voice of reason here...

[twitterpate]

I would resent that, only you're implying I'm usually the reasonable one and I'm not sure if I should argue that [Alex no]

If I was anal retentive enough to plaster the stupid stuff all over the ship, I'd probably come back to restick them if I find a bunch missing, yeah? All we have to do is snatch a hallway's worth of them and then wait for the perp to reappear!

[assumedposition]

... Oh. Do you really think that will work?

[twitterpate]

It might take a while but-- no, probably not.





We could always get someone to sniff them.

[assumedposition]

[Picking another one up, and then-- REALLY? Dubious Albert is dubious.]

Alex... do you have a hunting dog you're not telling me about?

[twitterpate]

Wol-- Were--

Wolf. [Do you hear the power of conviction in her voice? Neither can she.]

[assumedposition]

[Fortunately for you Albert is not the sharpest tool in the shed.]

You have a WOLF?!

[twitterpate]

I don't have have him! We're friends. It's not ownership, because that's just creepy!

[assumedposition]

... You have a friend. Who is a wolf.

[twitterpate]

Only sometimes during the month. He's a perfectly nice bloke most of the time.

1/2

[assumedposition]

Only sometimes...

[assumedposition]

Alex! That's not funny! How gullible do you think I am?!

[twitterpate]

Hey! Listen here, posh boy. You have noooo problem whatsoever accepting me rentaghosting all over the place, but having a friend who's a part time wolf is too much of a stretch now?

[assumedposition]

Well-- you know, there's actually a solid argument for proving ghosts exist!

Werewolves on the other hand...

[twitterpate]

[folds her arms and waits for it, waits for it, any moment now...]

[assumedposition]

................

You really know a guy who's a werewolf?

[twitterpate]

And he would not stand up for a young lady having her name besmirched like that.

[assumedposition]

... All right. I can't believe I'm saying this, but let's do it! Let's sniff the fellow out!

[twitterpate]

I like it when you think like the way I think.

[assumedposition]

Lead on. Where to?

[twitterpate]

Floor twel-- oh crap.