[video] 002; What the hell kind of devil bird chirps at night?

[ The video starts, with the above slammed into the screen. And then, the paper relents and moves back to show that familiar loser kid. ]
Hi, I am looking for a really good person to be a best friend for my good friend, orange Dave! He's an asshole but he's pretty nice, and he has lots of friends like me and Rose and Jade, but one of his bestest friends died a long time ago, and it is really hard to be good enough. So I am taking applications for a new best friend for him. Rose and Jade don't have to apply, but you can if you want! And the rest of you can go meet him yourself later, but he's really nice.
[ And it switches to text. ]

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So I guess if you're not going to kill me right now, I can ask what you want me to do? Because my head really hurts and I'm mad and tired now.
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Just... I don't know. Give me a chance, I guess.
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And it's not really about you killing me and stuff, which really sucked too! But you killed my friends and my family, and I dunno. I'm not really sure if you're really sorry for it, but maybe if you understand me more, you'll really get how much that stuff hurted.
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You don't know what it's like, to have to kill someone important to you with your own hands.
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I know being sorry doesn't really do anything, but I can't really talk to you if you're not sorry. But I guess if you are, I have to think about some stuff...
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[wow Jack way to not even consider apologizing until just now
friendship is hard]
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Blugh, I'm still upset, but this is really confusing. Why did you pretend to be my friend in the first place? That was really unfair. And kinda weird.
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I wasn't pretending anything! I told you who I was and you didn't believe me, then you got all pissed off about it. I didn't lie about the other John, either. And I still wanna... be your friend, I guess. Even if you're not the same kid I know, you're still John.
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Why do you want to be my friend? There's a lot of people on this ship, and they're probably tons more interesting.
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You really have to work for it, and that's hard work.
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I'd rather work for it than let you hate me.