ataraxion | [video] 002; What the hell kind of devil bird chirps at night?

[ The video starts, with the above slammed into the screen. And then, the paper relents and moves back to show that familiar loser kid. ]

Hi, I am looking for a really good person to be a best friend for my good friend, orange Dave! He's an asshole but he's pretty nice, and he has lots of friends like me and Rose and Jade, but one of his bestest friends died a long time ago, and it is really hard to be good enough. So I am taking applications for a new best friend for him. Rose and Jade don't have to apply, but you can if you want! And the rest of you can go meet him yourself later, but he's really nice.

[ And it switches to text. ]

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[ It's strange that a woman whose face is so blank and generally expressionless can still be capable of looking as sad at Aberdeen invariably does. The thing is: she doesn't understand that she's sad. All she knows is that she's experiencing some uncomfortable emotion that she wants to have stop. Knowing that John is okay, that he's happy or at least not miserable, would go a long way to ensuring that — but she doesn't know how or what to say. All she knows is how to shake her head (again, simple thoughts; yes, no, maybe). ]

Don't be unhappy, John.

[ It's a pointless request, but she makes it anyway. The corner of Aberdeen's mouth puckers as she chews on her lip, certain and off balance for a moment. ]

I don't know the right thing to say.

[ Another excruciatingly long pause and right when it seems as though she's about to say nothing: ]

I'm sorry.

Oh, wow. Oh, wow, I really fucked this up, too. Um, wait, hold on- [ the video jolts abruptly to the ceiling of the hallway and then to the room number (davesprite's room number to his closed door) before it settles back down to john sitting up and leaning in very close to the video with his best serious face ]

You don't have to be sorry! You don't need to say anything. You always say the right thing, I mean. I mean, I'm the real nasty guy here, because I know you don't like people, but I still wanted to talk to you. And I'm the one who got myself in that whole stupid mess with Dave, and I'm just talking to you and making you feel really bad and that really sucks! Don't worry, okay? You always, always say the right thing.

And I'm really happy, so you don't have to worry at all! See? [ he puts both his hands to stretch his mouth into a smile and flickers out his tongue in a silly expression of what he thinks mirth appears; he still looks tired, but trying earnestly to not ]

[ Aberdeen shakes her head again, lapses into silence again. Perhaps, if she were there, sitting beside John she could put her hand on top of his like she did in the gym after her fights. Or perhaps she could poke him or nudge him with her elbow, something to dispel the mood and make that desperate little smile of his stick.

But she's not beside him, she's here, reduced down to a small flickering image on the screen of the device. ] I don't like people, but I like you. You remind me of someone I knew, a long time ago. When I was different, and still liked people. [ With a hand reaches up and touches her own face. Right there, at the corner of her mouth, where John has pulled his own lips back into that smile. ] He would do the same thing. What you're doing now.

He did it because he was good. [ A pause. ] He was like you.

[ Aberdeen looks away. She seems oddly restless, like that stillness that holds her most of the time has been temporarily shirked off and put aside. ] You're not nasty. You wanted to talk. And I like it when you talk to me. [ When she turns her eyes back onto the camera again, she nods, once, firmly. ] It makes me feel something.

[ Something good, maybe. Something equally inexpressible and elusive. But something is better than nothing, even when that something is difficult. ]

It's alright. [ The words are meant to be a comfort, but they don't really sound that way. ]

Edited 2012-01-28 07:23 (UTC)

Who are you talking about? He, I mean, the guy...

Oh, wait, wow, I know I'm not supposed to ask and you don't have to answer. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked in the first place and I'm kind of a mess right now and I'm just talking a lot because I have a lot of thoughts but they're all stupid thoughts, so I'm really sorry.

[ but then he cracks a smile. it's a smaller than normal smile, but it is surprisingly heartfelt on his tired face ] Thanks for listening and stuff. And telling me that it wasn't my fault. I mean, it totally was? But when you say it wasn't, then I really believe you and I think maybe I didn't mess up everything, after all, even though I did. [ his smile does falter a bit for a moment ]

Though I hope whatever you're feeling isn't something incredibly gross and slimy, because that'd super suck.

[video] 002; What the hell kind of devil bird chirps at night?

( VIDEO | PRIVATE | ENCRYPTION 90% )

( VIDEO | PRIVATE | ENCRYPTION 90% )

( VIDEO | PRIVATE | ENCRYPTION 90% )

( VIDEO | PRIVATE | ENCRYPTION 90% )