ataraxion | [video] 002; What the hell kind of devil bird chirps at night?

[ The video starts, with the above slammed into the screen. And then, the paper relents and moves back to show that familiar loser kid. ]

Hi, I am looking for a really good person to be a best friend for my good friend, orange Dave! He's an asshole but he's pretty nice, and he has lots of friends like me and Rose and Jade, but one of his bestest friends died a long time ago, and it is really hard to be good enough. So I am taking applications for a new best friend for him. Rose and Jade don't have to apply, but you can if you want! And the rest of you can go meet him yourself later, but he's really nice.

[ And it switches to text. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

when you put it that way, it sounds incredibly stupid.
but it isn't!
i have very good reasons.
i think.

[...respect for that admission.]

Then spell them out if you're going to demand applications

ummm...
i would!
but i don't really like talking about it.
his best friend was really close to me, too.

Then make him find his own damn friend
He's not shy is he

i think he's more like you...
it's not like he's really mean!
but he might come off like that.
but he's really an asshole.
but he's not mean.

Then he probably doesn't want a new friend kid

[He actually does not take offense to this. Truth is truth.]

do you think so?
i think it's hard to tell when someone is lonely...
if he wanted to be left alone, i would be ok with that!
but he gets angry at me a lot because i remind him too much of his best friend and he doesn't like it.
so i was hoping someone different would cheer him up!
maybe you would work because he could totally work some ironic magic on you.

Yeah, I think so.  I like keeping busy when



What the hell is ironic magic

dave is really weird!
he says he likes totally uncool things for irony, but i don't really get it.
you guys would totally be perfect.

Doubt it
Not if he's like you

he's like the total opposite of me.
he is not nearly as cool as me.
he wishes he were me!
except not really and that was a really bad joke for a lot of reasons.
but yeah, he thinks he's a cool kid and you think you're cool too.
it'll be DOUBLE THE COOL.

You're both kids then right
I don't think I'm cool

[Man he has a soft spot for shitty 80's music, a creepy love for bicycles, and wears socks and sandals. Not cool. But he thinks he's pretty alright, yeah.]

I don't want some kid tailing me all over the damn ship

that is pretty insensitive of you!
he doesn't have a tail anymore, he has legs!
and not a bird dick.
which is really gross.
i kinda wish he didn't tell me that.
or anything about that.
anyway, you guys will just be friends!

I've been called that before
And I meant I didn't want a stalker, but maybe you knew that.  It's hard to tell if you're an idiot or just a pain in the ass


The fuck is a bird dick

[He's not sure he wants to know, once he knows - but he's curious.]

i am neither, and dave is not a stalker.
you don't know him at all if you think he's a stalker!
except he'd find that ironic...
dave finds a lot of stuff ironic.

anyway, don't birds have dicks?

Whatever you want to call yourself kid
No shit, how did you guess

Not really

wow...
i guess dave got lucky!
only his upper body is like a bird, i think.
he might have claw feet, but i haven't seen them.
anyway, he has this awesome ruffle feathery stuff and awesome wing feathery stuff.
it's pretty awesome.
he can fly.

Wait
What IS he
How does he talk with a beak and shit

[video] 002; What the hell kind of devil bird chirps at night?

[text] probably something fancy i just wanted to spell crap

[text] Fair enough!

[text] lmfao don't mind me i am just shy because i know you and you were nice to me!

[text] PFFFT if you know APH at all I am basically IRL Denmark is okey.

[text] but denmark what a guy!!!!! isn't that more intimidating please

[text] /SCREAM

[text] the fact that i can honestly say i've been watching you is kinda creepy

[text] If you watch me on LJ that is close to creepy. If not...nope.

[text] isn't it supposed to be the other way around what happened lj what happened

[text] LJ fucked everyone over!

[text] lmfao i wonder if they've purged my accounts i'm kinda curious

[text] people started getting e-mails today.

[text] lmfao oh... ty haha

[text]

[text]

[text] just googled "bird penis" LIFE, CHOICES

[text] okay curious what does it look like and is it a thing

[text] only ducks/geese have them and it looks like fish poop why