001 [TEXT]

[seered]

It seems to me we are beyond the point of customary introductions, so I'll err on the side of brevity and attempt to get straight to the essential details of this message. My inquiry is simple. How many of you were capable of certain feats in your home universes that you are now unable to perform? Specifics are helpful, but not necessary. I understand this issue might be very personal, in which case I assure you that anything we discuss will remain in full confidence.

Please do not trouble yourselves if you cannot enlighten me regarding the situation. The elaborate ins and outs of paradox space are admittedly vexing, but any information is appreciated. I have been told that I was here once before, but I am sorry to say I don't remember it. Apologies if you were at all friendly with my apparent other self.

Barring that, I consider myself a fan of a great many conversation topics, so it should not be difficult to find an alternative conference. We can discuss our interests, or what we enjoy doing in our spare time, or which department is most worth joining. Perhaps we will even find that we share an intellectual pursuit or two.

I'll go first. My name is Rose Lalonde. Some of you may have already met my brother and his avian counterpart. I enjoy literature and knitting, and I am exceedingly pleased to make your collective acquaintance.

((OOC: Hit up the opt-out post if you'd like me to turn the text off!))

Comments

[seered]

Let's say geography, just for simplicity's sake.
I don't really want to think of it in terms of multiple disciplines.

[tg]

thats not like you
dont you like thinking about things from all the angles
therapizing and analyzing shit especially when it involves me asking about dicks

[seered]

First I need to determine whether or not he is, in fact, the physical manifestation of an entire country.

[tg]

and how are you gonna do that
scale his mountains
cross his rivers
tour his capital city

[seered]

I was thinking something a bit more psychoanalytical, but in the event it does come to that, Lewis and Clark have nothing on me.

[tg]

nothing except actual mountains and an indian who knew the terrain
are there such things as dutch indians

[seered]

I'll have to ask him.
I have a feeling he might find that offensive, however.
He seems the easily-offended type.

[tg]

whats the worst he could do to you
roll you a joint split the tip hydro your ponic
hide a whore in a bucket at your lesbian alien wedding

[seered]

I'll have you know my lesbian alien wedding will be no less than the classiest affair this side of the Furthest Ring.
All gifts will be pre-screened for whores and buckets and removed accordingly.

[tg]

im pretty sure buckets are required for the alien half of said classy wedding
or are you having them removed to the honeymoon suite

[seered]

It's a necessary precaution, meant to be a preemptive strike against Karkat-flavored conniptions.

[tg]

wait
does this mean
youre worried about karkat crashing your wedding by pissing into your pail of nuptial juice

[seered]

I put anything past Karkat, as far as his frothing rage is concerned.

[tg]

you got a point
he does have pretty low standards and almost no control over matters of his hateboner bladder

[seered]

Precisely why a preemptive strike is necessary.