ataraxion | [video]

Well, hey there folks.

[The Mayor sits in his room, smiling cheerfully down at his communicator. He's a nice-looking man with a friendly voice and a kindly demeanor.]

Wow - what an adventure, huh? [He raises a hand to forestall arguments.] Now, before anyone gets mad at me, I'm not saying, "Gee, it's great to be here." I've got plenty to get back to - heck, I'm the mayor of the greatest city there is, and I don't want it to have to get along without me! But that doesn't make this anything less than an adventure, and I say even if we're mad or sad or something we still make the best of it.

So let's start out with introductions! "We all already know each other," you're probably all groaning, and I say to that, settle down, let me catch up a little. I'm Mayor Richard Wilkins of Sunnydale. And I'm really glad to meet each and every one of you, and I'm looking forward to having more adventures with you all!

And now it's your turn. Be nice to me, and step forward and tell me your name and what you do here.

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[ Oh my god it's Mr. Rogers. You haven't heard enough of those jokes, have you? Here, have another one. ]

Welcome to the neighborhood.

[ But Josh is smiling, because hey, friendly people are nice, he's okay with more of those here. RIGHT....... although he is mildly skeptical, because nobody's that cheerful. ]

You won't find much of an official political structure here, but all of the departments can always use a hand. [ And speaking of political. ] What state?

[And Josh gets a great big smile.]

The Great State of California. Sunnydale's about, oh, a hundred miles outside of Los Angeles. And well away from all its pollution - yuck!

Can I ask where you're from?

[ Okay, so the smile is now half unsure/at the Mayor's expense, because he just said 'yuck', and Josh is pretty sure it wasn't even ironically. ]

Ithaca. [ Err. ] Or Boston. Mostly Boston, 2013. Anyone filled you in on the fickle nature of time here yet?

I heard a little bit about it. Hey -

[His face lights up a little bit.]

Now, I know I'm not supposed to spoil myself and all that, and I know I'll probably seem totally uncool for asking. But Ross and Rachel - do those kids ever end up getting together?

[ If Josh said he wasn't involved in a Friends finale themed party, he would be lying. It's a fond memory. ]

I don't know, man, that's a pretty heavy responsibility. I'm not sure I want to ruin the surprise. What year are you from, anyway? Thats - what, pre-two thousand... three, four?

I'm coming here from 1999. My next question's going to be about the Y2K bug, but I have to get this one out of the way first.

[ Y2K holy shit blast from the past!! Have a grin. ]

Of course they get together. In the last episode. Believe me, it was a very stressful few years.

And sorry to disappoint, but Y2K was a bust. But - 1999? Seriously? Monica Lewinsky jokes aren't even old for you yet, are they?

Hey now.

[His chiding is lighthearted, but that doesn't mean he doesn't mean it.]

I don't much care for talking about all that nonsense. That man disgraced his office and brought filth into the home where children can see it. It all made you shake your head.

[ Danger, Will Robinson. ]

Ooo-kay. [ Thanks, grandpa, but hey, everyone's entitled. ] I can see you feel strongly about this, but yes, I guess that's one way of putting it.

If it helps, the presidents since then have mostly stuck to things like the invasion of privacy and warmongering - you know, the classics.

[And, brightly again:]

Now, that's one I definitely don't want you to spoil me on! I shouldn't know who wins the presidency. That'd give me an unfair advantage!

[ Only a tiny bit creeped out, really. ]

Funny story, actually. If you ever get home, it won't matter what you've learned here. But hey, at least Ross and Rachel will still be a pleasant surprise, right?

[That's good info. Thanks, Josh.]

That so? You know, I'm really glad to hear that. Soon as you told me about how it turned out, I started to feel a little bit guilty. Now I guess I don't have to. And now I can ask everybody about what happens later on!

True, though you could still dig yourself into an existential crisis if you're not careful.

Have you run into anyone from back home?

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