ataraxion | [ text ]

Right, chaps. Cambridge here

I'm looking for a small group - a posse, if you will - of intrepid (preferably childless and unmarried) explorer and/or hero types to pop back in to the depths of that terribly interesting lab to retrieve whatever hard drives and assorted interesting bits of shit you saw there on my behalf

Reason being that there seems to be some kind of horribly intriguing and potentially nasty virus sitting around in that hardware and I do believe it warrants a bit of a poke (no jokes please, let's be professional)

Top tip: don't try anything stupid like plugging whatever pretty little bit of cybernetics you might have hardwired in to your brain straight in to it because I have a strong suspicion you'll end up thoroughly fucked

And I'm talking very thoroughly, like three orifices and both hands

You know what - let's play it safe, shall we?

- Don't press too many buttons
- Don't put your comms devices too near the equipment
- Don't even think of walking in to comms or the science department with so much as a bloody USB stick from that lab

In fact, just don't fuck with it at all - just bag it and tag it and bring it back to room 015 of passenger deck 011

Tea and medals for all upon a successful return

PRIVATE: CILLIAN QUINN
I do realise that the concept of an honest day's work is utterly abhorrent to the likes of you and I but if you fancy putting that attractive little brain of yours to work then let me know

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Then I shall presume you are disinterested in souvenirs.

No, just the shiny swag, please and thank you

Any and all information recovered will be subject to extensive study before individual curiosities may be entertained.

Excuse me

I am certain that anyone organized enough to structure such a suggestion would understand the issue of priority.

Any and all information recovered WILL be subject to extensive study because I'M going to extensively study it

What the fuck did you think I was going to do it, build a computer fort in my cabin

Only if you are prone to constructing them.

My commentary is merely the assurance that other members of the science department are likely to be involved in the research. It is not an unreasonable affirmation, given the number of individuals focused primarily on secrecy.

Who the fuck said anything about secrecy? I certainly shan't stop anyone from having a fiddle if they fancy it (more than enough hardware to go around, I'm sure) but if anyone tries to stop ME with any ill-founded, jumped-up assumptions that my 'curiosities' are anything other than just as high fucking priority as anyone else's then they can kindly place their lips upon my scrotum

To refrain from mentioning the preoccupation with secrecy would be a gross negligence to established fact. Perhaps in place of considering your genitals, you would consider instead that there is a possibility of your person piquing the interest of others with your study.

There are a surplus of passengers of the mindset that their curiosity is of greater importance than any procedural method you may intend to implement.

Operating under the assumption that you have misconstrued my comment as personal offense, allow me to clarify. Do you have a relative assurance of your safety?

[ cambridge.... spock thinks. you are really. strange. ]

Well quite frankly I think they can consider my genitals too

Why the fuck is there a need to assure my safety? Nobody's going to come after me for looking at a bloody virus

[ you humans and your genitals ]

Fatalities have occurred for lesser trespasses.

If anyone decides they want a piece of me or my work then they will have to go through a rather rugged six foot something telepath. I don't fancy their chances. Is that assurance enough for you

Even immortality would leave me dubious, Mister Cambridge.

Would you object to a security perimeter?

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