ataraxion | Video! You are spared the trolltext.

[Hello Tranquility, have a grey-skinned, bull-horned kid with a stutter. He's tinged with a slight orangey-brown blush, because addressing an entire ship is kind of a big deal!]

Hi, everyone! Uh. I'm Tavros and as you can, I guess, probably see, I'm a troll. Or, if you can't see, please know that I am that. I do not want to exclude anyone, based on their preferred mode of sensory input.

So, I want to offer to anyone who is experiencing difficulty with an animal, because there are some on the ship apparently, my skills of communing with them, to better understand and change their behavior, and thus end any difficulties experienced. I, uh, definitely want everyone to know that I am here to be helpful in whatever way I can, basically!

[This is important! You don't get to be in the fleet if you're dead weight.]

On that note, the being-helpful one, uh, I guess since there are a lot of trolls now, and the ship has a lot of humans, or other species that now look human, if you have questions about how troll society works, I will try to answer them. Uh, our culture is pretty different, and misunderstandings may occur. Possibly someone has done this already, but I thought I would offer also. I am, uh, generally pretty open to cultural exchange, and that sort of thing, and it would, I guess, be good to work together while we're all stuck here.

Um. That's all. Bye.

[Okay, kid, good job, you did it. Now spend a willpower point to not throw the comm out the door and cower in your blanketpile.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He quirks an eyebrow and nods.]

I see. Well, I don't have any animal problems at the moment, though it would be fascinating to watch you commune with one.

[Wait, quick Russia don't forget your manners!]

Oh. I'm Russia by the way.

Really? Well, uh, I guess if that is a thing that comes up, I would not mind you being there. I don't know how interesting it would really be, but if you want to see, that's a thing that I am okay with happening, I think.

So, uh. You know that America guy, right?

You could say that. Is there a reason you're asking, Tavros?

Well. We were talking earlier, and, uh. He said that he knew a Russia person, so I was wondering if you were the same person. Uh. Because you're not really anything like him, from what I can tell.

He's...not...the most perceptive adult human I have met so far.

That's putting it lightly, to be sure. But da, I know him.

Was he trying to warn you about me?

Well, mostly he was making comments about your appearance.

Da, he tends to do that.

Is he...okay? I mean. He says some things which, uh, I can only really describe as, incredibly inappropriate!

I'm sorry, if he is your friend, to be saying things like that. I just don't really know what to make of him.

We're not friends exactly. Rivals perhaps?

You don't have to apologize for him. He says a lot of things that could be taken as inappropriate, it's kind of his thing I guess.

Oh. Is he your kismesis?

I'm sorry, but my what?

Oh. Right, humans have weird romance differences. Uh, whoa, sorry, weird from my perspective, probably obviously not weird from yours! Um, a kismesis is the black sort of romance, where, uh it is... a romantic rival, rather than partner, is maybe, a way to put it, where it will make sense. The hate based romance rather than the pity one.

So it's a rivalry but it's also a romance? How does that work?

Well...if you ever found someone very attractive but also really really aggravating, it is like that. Only you are supposed to find them attractive, and hopefully they feel the same way about you, and then you save all of your being really aggravating, however it works for that particular pair, for that one special person, and they for you. Uh, only you are not supposed to actually kill one another, because, uh, then you wouldn't be able to aggravate that person anymore, and that would be sad.

I have never had a kismesis myself, but that is how it is supposed to go.

EXCUSE ME.

T..There is nothing attractive about Russia at all! I could care less if he like... fell off the planet! You know how much stress relief I would feel knowing that he isn't spying on me anymore?

Never, ever put my name with Russia's name with the word romance together, if you don't mind, man! We're nothing but at competition with one another and sometimes our bosses make us get along.

It sucks balls cause I got to the moon first.

Really, America? Really?

Maybe you should be the one to fall of the planet, people wouldn't have to deal with your spying then. Then again you can't keep your nose out of other countries' lives can you? Go back to your little American corner and sulk if you need to, because clearly you can't deal with our names being brought up together.

And even you got to the moon first, I was the first in space.

[To Tavros:]

Please just ignore him, obviously he's lost some of the tiny amount of mental capacities he had before.

Okay.

[You see that smile, boys? That is the smile of someone who is going to tell Nepeta about this, so that any shipping walls which may or may not happen are properly updated.]

[That smile is a bit unsettling, really. Which says a lot considering it's Russia thinking that.]

Da.Please tell me if he gives you further problems?

[People yelling and complaining dramatically is something Tavros is kind of used to, so he disregards most of that and picks up the interesting bit.]

...Who are your bosses?

Ohoooo. Look at you, man. Acting all oblivious!
Course you know me! You wish you were me! You're pretty much obsessed with me!

As if I could forget you, Amerika. You hardly give me the chance to with your strutting all over the place and interrupting civil conversations. Must you carry about in such a fashion?

Yeah! I must! My interruptions are totes important, yo!
You're the one tapping on me and such, still trying ti find out information about me!

False. I did not bring you up, Tavros did. But go ahead, let your paranoia run free maybe you'll start the Cold War again. Wouldn't that be fun?

Video! You are spared the trolltext.

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threadjack again hkjdshf

sdfghjkl you!!!!

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RUDE, AMERICA, JEEZ!

threadjack; 8|a

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