ataraxion | Video! You are spared the trolltext.

[Hello Tranquility, have a grey-skinned, bull-horned kid with a stutter. He's tinged with a slight orangey-brown blush, because addressing an entire ship is kind of a big deal!]

Hi, everyone! Uh. I'm Tavros and as you can, I guess, probably see, I'm a troll. Or, if you can't see, please know that I am that. I do not want to exclude anyone, based on their preferred mode of sensory input.

So, I want to offer to anyone who is experiencing difficulty with an animal, because there are some on the ship apparently, my skills of communing with them, to better understand and change their behavior, and thus end any difficulties experienced. I, uh, definitely want everyone to know that I am here to be helpful in whatever way I can, basically!

[This is important! You don't get to be in the fleet if you're dead weight.]

On that note, the being-helpful one, uh, I guess since there are a lot of trolls now, and the ship has a lot of humans, or other species that now look human, if you have questions about how troll society works, I will try to answer them. Uh, our culture is pretty different, and misunderstandings may occur. Possibly someone has done this already, but I thought I would offer also. I am, uh, generally pretty open to cultural exchange, and that sort of thing, and it would, I guess, be good to work together while we're all stuck here.

Um. That's all. Bye.

[Okay, kid, good job, you did it. Now spend a willpower point to not throw the comm out the door and cower in your blanketpile.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

sOUNDS LIKE HE AND eQUIUS WOULD HAVE,
pROBABLY,
bEEN GOOD FRIENDS TOO, tHEN,
uH, tHANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE, jOHN,
aND FOR NOT TROLLING,
tHOUGH IF YOU EVER WANT TO HAVE A RAP BATTLE,
tHEN THAT COULD BE FUN!
i DO THAT WITH MY BRO gAMZEE A LOT,
hE IS THE BEST AT IT!
aND ONLY REALLY SMART NOT-DUMMY GUYS SHOULD PARTICIPATE,
wHICH IS WHY i INVITE YOU TO DO SO,
aS YOU QUALIFY AS THOSE THINGS,
}:)

oh, gee, that sounds like a lot of fun except that's more dave...
but you know the thing about gamzee right?
because this is really awkward, knowing things!
but i guess it's better than not knowing things.

uH, nO, nOW i DON'T KNOW AGAIN,
wHAT YOU MEAN,
uH, wHAT ABOUT gAMZEE?

karkat was really upset when he was talking to me so i don't really know...
but the part about him killing and stuff?
you probably already know about that, haha!
anyway, dave is really nice and stuff but you have to be careful or he'll get a crush on you.

wAIT,
wAIT,
lET'S, mAYBE, mAKE THE THING WE ARE TALKING ABOUT BE gAMZEE AGAIN,
wHAT DO YOU MEAN THE KILLING?
gAMZEE MAY BE AN INDIGOBLOOD,
bUT HE'S REALLY CHILL AND NICE,
hE DIDN'T EVEN TROLL ANYONE,
}:?

i don't know!
i don't know a lot, because karkat was really sad.
i think i can get why.
i do not know why gamzee killed them, or if he did at all.
karkat just told me he did.
but he also said that gamzee was a really good friend of his.
trolls are hard to get sometimes, but i don't think that's really that bad.
we are a lot alike.
but trolls sometimes are sad.
that is the worrying part.

uM,
i HAVE TO SAY,
iF THIS IS SOME ATTEMPT TO TROLL ME BACK,
wHILE i APPRECIATE THE GESTURE,
iT'S NOT REALLY VERY FUNNY,
kARKAT WOULDN'T JOKE ABOUT A THING LIKE THAT,
eVEN IF MOST OF THE TIME HE JUST YELLS AT gAMZEE,
gAMZEE SAYS HE IS HIS BEST FRIEND,
sO, pROBABLY, iF YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW,
iT IS NOT A NICE RUMOR TO SPREAD,
tHAT A SWEET GUY LIKE MY BRO IS CULLING PEOPLE,
wHICH IS NOT A THING THAT i CAN IMAGINE HE WOULD EVER DO,
}:/

i am really not trolling you!
i feel really bad because vriska killed you and vriska is my friend so i am being SUPER nice to you!
maybe karkat said the wrong name, but i don't know!
he also said that gamzee was a very nice troll!
or something like that, he says fuck a lot.
he said gamzee was his best friend.
and i really remember that because i think i sorta got what he was trying to say.
but he said troll things are hard and he would not tell me what happened.
anyway, i am not spreading the rumor or anything.
i haven't told anyone else because i didn't think it was relevant?
i wouldn't have told you if i didn't think you already knew and/or possibly might get killed again!
you don't have to believe me, but i am telling the truth?

kARKAT DOES SAY FUCK A LOT,
i THINK IT IS NOT THAT i DON'T BELIEVE YOU,
lYING ABOUT THIS IS, uH, nOT SOMETHING YOU HAVE A REASON TO DO,
bUT THAT IT IS NOT SOMETHING i WANT TO BELIEVE,
nO MATTER WHO WAS TELLING ME!
}:(
i GUESS THINGS WERE GETTING, uH, kIND OF TENSE,
oN THE METEOR, aFTER OUR SESSION FAILED,
aND YOURS WAS GETTING COMPLICATED BECAUSE OF jACK,
iF kARKAT WERE HERE, tHAT WOULD BE A GOOD THING,
aND WOULD ADD CLARIFICATION, bUT i'M GLAD HE SAID THAT,
bECAUE i PROMISE, gAMZEE REALLY IS, a VERY NICE TROLL!
mAYBE YOU CAN MEET HIM NOW,
aND WE WILL ALL LAUGH AT THE, i GUESS, sHENANIGANS,
oF SESSIONS PAST?

ha ha, i want karkat here, too...
it's ok.
i will just ask gamzee and maybe gamzee will know?
that sounds like a good idea.
but you should also be careful because if you're killed again that would be really terrible!
i will try to talk to him.
but if you still feel bad you can try to troll me again?
i mean troll.
not try, troll!
last time, i got so schooled, i got a college education because you are very good at making fun of things!
man, i am so nice.

yEAH! mAN, iT SEEMS LIKE WE ARE ALL HERE,
fROM DIFFERENT POINTS IN THE TIMELINE,
wHICH MAKES THINGS, kIND OF, cONFUSING!
bUT IT'S OK YOU HAVE A FULL DIPLOMA FROM AN ACCREDITED UNIVERSITY,
oF EXTREMELY STRICT INCENDIARY EDUCATORS,
i THINK THAT WE ARE GOOD NOW,
aND NO FURTHER TROLLINGS NEED OCCUR,
aLSO, yOU ARE PRETTY NICE, jOHN!

aw, shucks.
i ain't nuttin' special.
it's pretty weird that people are on different times, though...
maybe i can ask dave about that and he will know?
or rose or jade because they know everything.
blargh!!!
why do time shenanigans have to be so headachey?

bLAAARGH, hA HA, yES!
i DON'T KNOW WHY, tHEY DIDN'T SEEM AS BAD WHEN IT WAS JUST US,
tROLLING AND WATCHING YOU GUYS, aT DIFFERENT TIMES,
bUT NOW WE ARE ALL HAVING WEIRD TIME THINGS,
aND ALSO WEIRD DIMENSION THINGS,
aND MORE THAN TWO UNIVERSES!
wHEN IT COMES TO SHENANIGANS,
tHE TRANQUILITY IS, pROBABLY,
tHE MOST CONFUSING THERE IS!

bluh.
that's such a weird name for a ship.
it should really be called STUPIDquility.
i don't really have that much to complain about, though...
all my friends are here and stuff!
that's really great.
or most of them...
and you have gamzee and jade and possibly dave.

iT IS SORT OF TRANQUIL, tHOUGH,
oNLY IN A CREEPY WAY,
tHAT IS NOT VERY PEACEFUL,
sO YEAH, mAYBE gHOSTHEDRAL WOULD BE A BETTER NAME
oR hORRORCRUISE,
oR SOMETHING?
bUT i AM GLAD ALL OF THE HUMANS ARE HERE,
aND SOME OF THE TROLLS,
iT MAKES ME FEEL LESS WORRIED,
bECAUSE WE MAYBE KNOW WE CAN WORK TOGETHER,
aND AT LEAST HERE THERE IS, pROBABLY, nOTHING TRYING TO KILL US,
sO FAR!
}:)

that's kinda a really sad way to put it!
but i guess you're right.
except jack noir is here and stuff.
but other than that, at least it is not killquaility.
i wouldn't be able to pronounce it.

sORRY, i DID GET,
kIND OF,
dOWN, tHERE, fOR A MINUTE,
mAYBE WE COULD VOTE TO RENAME IT,
sOMETHING LIKE sTRICTSHIP, oR rUMPUSCRAFT,
oR vICEOUSLYAWESOMEVESSEL,
(bECAUSE WE WOULD NOT, pROBABLY, wANT JUST vICIOUSVESSEL,
pEOPLE MIGHT, pOSSIBLY, gET THE WRONG IDEA THERE,)

Video! You are spared the trolltext.

Re: call him out on his bullshit and milk him for all he's worth

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

SO LATE ...These two are never going to make any sense.