╰xx6╮[video]

[lacksgrace]

[ Time for another lovely PA post from Tranquility's resident insensitive jerk. Except, this time, the video isn't as focused as normal; it bounces a little with each step he takes and only shows glimpses of green. The thick, pretty dense parts of the Oxygen Garden. ]

I keep saying it over and over, and I don't think people are getting the idea yet. [ A huff. ] No one has it easy--I understand that. Every jump brings a new group of people here, and it's the same boring shit.

I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home. This place is dangerous. Maybe it is, yeah. But has anyone ever considered actually trying to make it work instead of just, I dunno. Looking for a way to leave?

[ The aggravation isn't wearing off this time. He's had a bad jump, and when he sets his device aside, tucked somewhere up in a tree so he can look into it, his face is pretty pale. Bells seems anxious, unsure. He bites at his lip. ]

I mean, it's not the worst place. Right? There are things, people worth needing to be here for. And what if - [ He visibly swallows, looking down at something he's holding in his hands. ] - what if you're pretty damn sure home doesn't wanna have you back anyway? The message is kinda clear when someone you thought who'd never, fuck. Someone who you figured would never say something like that to you has said what they think without even being here.

[ Rambling now, and his fingers tremble as he lifts the gun into view. It hangs limply for a second, then he curls his hand around it. Tight enough so that his knuckles are white with the pressure. Bells steps closer to the device, snatching it and bringing it close to his face. The barrel, now, is pressed hard beneath his jaw.]

None of you have any fucking idea. This isn't the worst it could be.

[ He drops the device, and just as the video is cut, the sound of the gun discharging can be heard. ]

Comments

[lacksgrace]

It won't help. [ He sighs, squeezing his hand before pulling away. ] Maybe you're right about getting rid of it. If you keep it--

[ He only shakes his head, not wanting to elaborate. What would it take for him to find it again if he changed his mind? Holding onto the drug wouldn't do either of them any good. ]

[showbizpanache]

Let's get rid of it together then. Okay?

[lacksgrace]

[ He wants to ask how, exactly, he plans to do that, but he's suddenly too exhausted. Bells shifts a little closer so he can lean against him. ]

Yeah, okay. As long as you're with me.

[showbizpanache]

[Kurt breathes an audible sigh of relief, and finally feels relaxed enough to set the bottle aside. Now that both of his arms are free he can tug Bells close, cradling his head gently and stroking his hair.]

You're so much stronger than you think.

[lacksgrace]

You say that now. [ It's muffled against him, eyes closed at the touch of those fingers in his hair. He's turned to get an arm around him, very much wanting that contact. Wanting him. ] But even when I do this, some part of me is always gonna need it.

[showbizpanache]

[And that's truly scary to him, though he doesn't say it Right now, it's all about comforting Bells the only ways he can. Whether he understands any of this at all is irrelevant.]

You have me now.

[He leans down to kiss the top of his head.]

Okay?

[lacksgrace]

[ Even if Kurt can't see it, Bells smiles. Something so simple a concept is still so new to him, like a lot of things are, and he pulls back to look at him, hand lifting to cup his face. His thumb settles against his cheekbone, tracing down to rest at the corner of his mouth. ]

I know. I'm already addicted to you. [ He presses forward to kiss him. ]

[showbizpanache]

[Kurt pushes his worries aside for the moment, because Bells' voice sounds like he's smiling, and then he's kissing him and that's definitely a good sign. It's a far cry from the broken man he saw on the video before, and Kurt is so relieved that he can forget about his own anxiety and kiss back happily, because this is how they should be.

Whatever they are.]