(voice ; o1.)

[carbonite]

Uh, this is Stormtrooper ... zero, fifty, zero, omega (that works, he supposes) we have a situation here, requesting backup. We have a wookie on the loose, I repeat, we have a wookie on the loose. Warning, warning, warning, warning he's loose in sectors four, five and seven. Probably.

Possibly.

We aren't sure, but that's why I'm requesting backup because how am I supposed to scout this entire facility for him?

(there's the sound of a laser shooting something) Also, cancel that reactor leak. I think I fixed it. Uhm, you never answered how you were doing?

Comments

[carbonite]

(AINT NO ONE GOT TIME FOR THAT MIKE.)

You wanna give me the run down?

[fraud]

[ dude. ]

Uhm. [ he blinks. UHH ] You're not at home, you're in a different universe, you're trapped indefinitely, we've tried everything, welcome? Sorry about the kidnapping, don't break anything.

(video.)

[carbonite]

(that gets him to take off the helmet and stare at mike.)

If you're lying to me, I'm coming after you kid.

[fraud]

[ oh shit. but he looks way too excited to be appropriate after a threat like that. ]

Not lying one bit! You're completely and utterly kidnapped.

[carbonite]

Seriously. (but if not by the Empire.)

... Please tell me it's because of the Empire.

THE LATEST i'm so sorry

[fraud]

Oh no, this has nothing to do with the Empire. At all. It's completely different, no one actually knows who it is.

VENDETTA!!!!

[carbonite]

Oh yay, bandits. That's great.