video; sorry seems to be the hardest word

[tigers]

[ And on the end of this feed: Moran in all his muttonchopped glory, looking exceptionally grumpy. That is, grumpier than he normally looks. ]

My name is Sebastian Moran, number 008-155.

[ For the first time, he doesn't introduce himself as Colonel. As a matter of fact, almost none of what follows sounds like your typical Moran. It's terribly obvious that he's being puppetted through this, and if his Christopher Walken-esque performance prompts anything, there may, in fact, even be cue cards helping him along. ]

Prior to this jump, I made the absolutely idiotic mistake of firing a shot at one of them bleeding cleaning dev-- [ He shoots a doubtful look just off camera. ] A Roomba. I made the absolutely idiotic mistake of firing a shoot at a Roomba.

I've been punished for this with time in the brig, of course, but this is me issuing a much-needed public apology. I apologize for this violent act, and I apologize for being a moron in general. Moron is, after all, nearly my name. Chums.

[ Just before the feed flickers to black, there's a brief shot of him essentially facepalming. What is his poor life? ]

Comments

a u d i o; 1/?

[cons]

[ have you ever heard Wichita laugh? like, honest to god, bust a gut laughing? ]

video;

[tumbleweeds]

Wait, why'd you shoot a cleaning robot?

not here

[dirtyword]

[ If you listen closely to Wichita's communicator, Brendan's peals of laughter can be heard, too. ]

video

[staytofight]

[2cute]

Don't let your chops droop too much, friend. I'm sure you didn't mean much harm.

Text

[godofthemachine]

Oh my. What a despicable crime you have committed.

[You can't see it, Moran, but AM is laughing.]

voice

[idkmybffbloodwing]

Well shit, an' here I was thinkin' those things'd make good target practice if you hung 'em up far enough away. Guess that's outta the question. [His voice is teasing in tone, of course, because didn't you see that robot manifesto thing?]

Though damn, if that's the kinda thing that'll land a guy in the brig, I'm surprised we're allowed to do anything at all.

untraceable transmission.

[blunted]

A̢̼̠̫̺͕̲ͨ̏̋͗r̗̟͔̈͆̈́̔ͧ̕͞e̢̛͕̼͍͐̅̉͑̒ ̏͌̾ͥ͏͔̞͓ÿ͈̹͉̟́͜ö̞͓̯͚͍͖̱́ͧ̀ͅũ̵̮ͥ̒ ̹͕ͯͫ́ͣŝ̢̰̂̌̑̑̈ͤ̀t͎͈̩̓ͣ̌ͥ̃ͮ̔i̳̥̲͕ͪ̈́̍̕͜ͅl̯̦̱̘̈́ͮͣ͑̕l̛͙͙̩̗̹̣̘̮ͪ͜ͅ ̴̸͕̯̻̪̞̺͗ͧ̄̿̀̽̿̒̀ḣ̠̦̪̱ͥ͗̌̓̚͘e̱͉̙ͣ̋ͮ͂̕͟r̴̤̠̘̼ͣ̓ͯ͝ë̴͈̰̳̻̼͍͘͟?̥͇̰̦͖͕̞̈ͯ̿̍̎̀̀͜

video;

[justdumbluck]

...That's a crime? Are the police here just bored?

voice;

[justamobster]

This shit keeps up, pocket watches're gonna wind up with the right t'vote.

Still, might wanna cool it on the whole shootin' things that don't needa be shot, yeah?

[chambermaid]

A Roomba? Is that some sort of beast or a person?

[idkmybffjessie]

Apologizing to a bloody cleaning robot's taking it a bit goddamn far, isn't it?

[text]

[testgasm]

yeah i think i'm going to need a little more sincerity on this

you didn't just shoot it you killed it

[andblockbuster]

Dude, you are gonna be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

[He probably shouldn't make fun of what is a deeply personal issue for Wheatley, but IT'S JUST SO FUNNY. And he's making fun of Moran. Not the robots.]