video; sorry seems to be the hardest word

[tigers]

[ And on the end of this feed: Moran in all his muttonchopped glory, looking exceptionally grumpy. That is, grumpier than he normally looks. ]

My name is Sebastian Moran, number 008-155.

[ For the first time, he doesn't introduce himself as Colonel. As a matter of fact, almost none of what follows sounds like your typical Moran. It's terribly obvious that he's being puppetted through this, and if his Christopher Walken-esque performance prompts anything, there may, in fact, even be cue cards helping him along. ]

Prior to this jump, I made the absolutely idiotic mistake of firing a shot at one of them bleeding cleaning dev-- [ He shoots a doubtful look just off camera. ] A Roomba. I made the absolutely idiotic mistake of firing a shoot at a Roomba.

I've been punished for this with time in the brig, of course, but this is me issuing a much-needed public apology. I apologize for this violent act, and I apologize for being a moron in general. Moron is, after all, nearly my name. Chums.

[ Just before the feed flickers to black, there's a brief shot of him essentially facepalming. What is his poor life? ]

Comments

[andblockbuster]

Dude, you are gonna be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

[He probably shouldn't make fun of what is a deeply personal issue for Wheatley, but IT'S JUST SO FUNNY. And he's making fun of Moran. Not the robots.]

[testgasm]

[SQUINTING ANYWAY]

[andblockbuster]

[IT'S OKAY BECAUSE HE TOTALLY RESPECTS YOU AS A PERSON-SLASH-ROBOT.

REALLY.]

[tigers]

That is entirely indecent and I suggest you...

[ Oh god no. Person off screen who's feeding him lines just gets this look. Why this? ]

I suggest you refrain for your public affections.

[andblockbuster]

Hey, I'm just saying. What if that had been a person? Or someone's pet?

[tigers]

It was not. D--

[ That was almost a 'duh', but his leader in crime seems to have erased it before he can say it. Welp. ]

[andblockbuster]

But what if. You have to think in hypotheticals here, bro. If you're that trigger happy all the time, it could totally happen. One minute you're walking down the hall and then someone's cat shoulderchecks you and then boom. Goodbye, kitty.

[TROLLIN' TROLLIN' TROLLIN'

KEEP THESE POSTS A'TROLLIN'.

RAWHIIIIIDE.]

[tigers]

You're being a bit of a downer, aren't you, chum?

[ Stoppp. He's annoyed enough. ]

[andblockbuster]

Just keeping it real.

[BUT HE'S DONE NOW.]