Japan | Sakura Honda (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenthousandyears) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ataraxion2012-01-21 10:02 pm
tenthousandyears) wrote in ataraxion2012-01-21 10:02 pm
[Video] Imperialism begins in the home kids, remember this
[The video turns on to a small Japanese woman in formal military dress. Very formal. Are those epaulettes? Who even wears those anymore? Well regardless of her fashion sense, she will give the screen a small, very shallow bow of her head. There is a very serious air of business here. If you are expecting a forthcoming announcement of a death the mood would not be indicative of you being wrong.]
Good day! It is a pleasure to meet all of you, surely. You may call me the Empire of Greater Japan. I feel it should be announced that as of today the forward kitchen of deck 251 is now its own autonomous state under the protection of the Japanese empire.
Food will of course still be served, your basic rights will be observed. But in return I ask you observe the rules clearly posted on the far wall of the kitchen. As well as the simple stocking directions located on the inside of each cabinet door to maximize cabinet space and present a system of order. If these can't be maintained I am... afraid you will not be allowed within the territory of Dai-koku.
Other basic rules include no destruction of property, theft, murder or public indecency. Thank you!
Russia-san, I know you're on this vessel. Please know any aggressions against these borders will be taken as a declaration of war! ...So. Um. Please maintain your manners! ...Your better manners.
[There is a pause where she looks rather uncertain.]
Ah... And if there are any who would wish a meal who would rather not cook themselves or cannot. ...Whatever your dietary needs. Please inform me and I will see to it you receive the proper nutrition in an... appetizing fashion.
Thank you for your time!
[Another bow, this one more flustered than her opening one and the communication ends.]
Good day! It is a pleasure to meet all of you, surely. You may call me the Empire of Greater Japan. I feel it should be announced that as of today the forward kitchen of deck 251 is now its own autonomous state under the protection of the Japanese empire.
Food will of course still be served, your basic rights will be observed. But in return I ask you observe the rules clearly posted on the far wall of the kitchen. As well as the simple stocking directions located on the inside of each cabinet door to maximize cabinet space and present a system of order. If these can't be maintained I am... afraid you will not be allowed within the territory of Dai-koku.
Other basic rules include no destruction of property, theft, murder or public indecency. Thank you!
Russia-san, I know you're on this vessel. Please know any aggressions against these borders will be taken as a declaration of war! ...So. Um. Please maintain your manners! ...Your better manners.
[There is a pause where she looks rather uncertain.]
Ah... And if there are any who would wish a meal who would rather not cook themselves or cannot. ...Whatever your dietary needs. Please inform me and I will see to it you receive the proper nutrition in an... appetizing fashion.
Thank you for your time!
[Another bow, this one more flustered than her opening one and the communication ends.]
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You don't really look like a woman! Like BOOM woman; just more feminine--!
It would help if you had like HUGE TITS, you know?
1/uhm I'll get back to you
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Done!
[Oh the shame of admitting there's another Japan. THE SHAME... but if it stops this embarrassing situation w;A;w]
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So you're the other Japan?
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[She sounds like the interloper. What kind of relation does he have with Kiku-kun... How many people is Kiku-kun seeing?! If this weren't so unsettling she'd be having a nosebleed over the implications.]
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Other Japan is a girl! A girl Japan! You're Japan, but with boobs.
GOT IT.
[ h...hahahaha what is this. what is going on why is there a female Japan...]
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[She's got this. She's totally got this. It is...]
France-san!
video; 1.2
Hahahha, no way I'm that lame old man--! Dude, get real. Does it look like I smell like garlic and defeat?
Hell no.
video; 2.2
TOTALLY badass and nothing like, completely stupid and Frenchie, yo!!
[ dork. ]
1/3!
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... ... ...I see.
[Yeeeep.]
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So you're not Kiku!! What's your name? What should I call you besides cute?
[ yeah he went there. ]
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[O-oh.....................]
Japan... I-I mean also Sakura!!
[...Wait, he's one of those who judged her in the League!!]
Ah, I mean. Japan! It is Japan!
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Now explain to me why the hell you're a chick! This is like.. a super load of bunk, man!
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[There is no passive aggression here, not at all.]
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[ sweet cheeks... he's just getting more and more hormonally driven and repressed every day that goes by on this ship. ]
We made the discovery that there are alternative universes in existence. It's a pretty kick ass discovery and I knew it existed all along, but this is physical proof and it's awesome! Since there are two Japans, I know the male Japan. He is my Japan! [ oh he's not helping with this lover confusion thing is he ]
And since I didn't recognize you, and you didn't recognize me, but you're still Japan, you're obviously from another universe--!!
Let me ask you, is the America you know different than I am then?
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[Clearly he is insane. But that's fine, she knows how to deal with this.]
Oh... no. This technology that is so much beyond mine. I can't continue understanding how to use it. It is too much... for a... simple Japanese!
[She is doing her best impression of an ignorant Chinese person. Because obviously they are the only ones with this stereotype, yes. She is counting on America not being able to tell the difference. Or see through her really bad acting.]
Ah... In fact the device. It is faaaallllliiinggg...
[It's blatantly obvious she's just moving the phone lower in a really bad imitation of a fall. But she ends the call confident in her performance. Ayup. ...She might be a bigger jerk than the guy one America, sorry.]
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[ he's like.. yelling as she pulls it away. ]
Simple for Japanese---!! You guys invent stuff that is similar to this! I buy it from you! You're from a different year, aren't you? The last I remember, it was the year 2011!!
[ he totally didn't get that empire of Japan talk through his head. ]