[Video] Imperialism begins in the home kids, remember this

[tenthousandyears]

[The video turns on to a small Japanese woman in formal military dress. Very formal. Are those epaulettes? Who even wears those anymore? Well regardless of her fashion sense, she will give the screen a small, very shallow bow of her head. There is a very serious air of business here. If you are expecting a forthcoming announcement of a death the mood would not be indicative of you being wrong.]

Good day! It is a pleasure to meet all of you, surely. You may call me the Empire of Greater Japan. I feel it should be announced that as of today the forward kitchen of deck 251 is now its own autonomous state under the protection of the Japanese empire.

Food will of course still be served, your basic rights will be observed. But in return I ask you observe the rules clearly posted on the far wall of the kitchen. As well as the simple stocking directions located on the inside of each cabinet door to maximize cabinet space and present a system of order. If these can't be maintained I am... afraid you will not be allowed within the territory of Dai-koku.

Other basic rules include no destruction of property, theft, murder or public indecency. Thank you!

Russia-san, I know you're on this vessel. Please know any aggressions against these borders will be taken as a declaration of war! ...So. Um. Please maintain your manners! ...Your better manners.

[There is a pause where she looks rather uncertain.]

Ah... And if there are any who would wish a meal who would rather not cook themselves or cannot. ...Whatever your dietary needs. Please inform me and I will see to it you receive the proper nutrition in an... appetizing fashion.

Thank you for your time!

[Another bow, this one more flustered than her opening one and the communication ends.]

Comments

[ video ]

[fourseasons]

[He almost considers using text, but he feels as if that would say things he doesn't want it to. So he'll take care of his gosh this is really happening thoughts before replying with video.]

Ahh... I do not believe this sort of thing is truly necessary.

[ video ]

[tenthousandyears]

Please Kiku-kun. These matters are standard in the affairs of nations. There should be no issues from this, so please leave it in my hands!

[ video ]

[fourseasons]

As the State of Japan, I believe this falls into something that would certainly cause issue.

[A pause so to try and carefully word his next sentence.]

While I am sure Japan-san means no harm by this, I believe this sort of motion could mean conflict for not only herself, but me as well. Seeing as we are both "Japan"...

[ video ]

[tenthousandyears]

I must... respectfully refute that if Kiku-kun pleases.

[Is he still going on about this... And now he's trying to direct her affairs! To her own detriment even! Surely this is a plot. An ill-planned one, almost to the point of being insulting of course, but still trifling obnoxious...]

I have been informing others that we hold no relation. Please, assume a position of indifference.

[Because clearly he is a country-man in origin only.]

[herocomplex]

_{[ blah blah blah he didn't listen to any of that.
Unfortunately, he cannot really distinguish the difference between you two. ]}

Hey Japan, man! How you settling in now, dude?

Russia doesn't know what manners are because he's a dickwad.

_{[ horrible.... ]}

[tenthousandyears]

[O-oh... who is this... So friendly... NO. MUST REMAIN FOCUSED.]

...Do we know one another?

[herocomplex]

Sure do! We're buds, man! Don't tell me you're still disoriented from the jump.

Right, so, you might ought to explain to me why you seem extra feminine today. Are you on a new diet?

[tenthousandyears]

D-D-Diet!? ...W-Well yes, but... No! I have always been a woman!

[Ohmygod this is too embarrassing. blushdesu.]

[herocomplex]

Hahahahahaa! No way---!!
You don't really look like a woman! Like BOOM woman; just more feminine--!

It would help if you had like HUGE TITS, you know?

action

[handelaar]

[So uh.

He stares at the screen for a moment. And keeps staring at the screen after the video turns off. The fuck did he just see?



Two minutes and one lit cigarette later finds him tearing his way to the kitchen she mentioned to see for himself.]

[So yeah, have an exceedingly stern-looking Netherlands staring her down over his cigarette.]

action

[tenthousandyears]

[Staring... back. She doesn't understand. But she will grab some alcohol and pour him a glass before offering it. It seems only the kind thing to do.]

1/uhm I'll get back to you

[tenthousandyears]

T-T-T-T-THEY ARE OF AN APPROPRIATE SIZE, IF YOU DOUBT PLEASE COME SEE FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!

[tenthousandyears]

[wait omg wut wut]

[tenthousandyears]

...P-please disregard that last statement!!

[tenthousandyears]

B-but I am a woman! You are surely... confusing me with Kiku-kun!

[tenthousandyears]

[That bastard, accusing her of making trouble for HIM. What is this!?]

[tenthousandyears]

[...sob does she really look like a man...]

Done!

[tenthousandyears]

I am... the... other... Japan. A pleasure to meet you surely...

[Oh the shame of admitting there's another Japan. THE SHAME... but if it stops this embarrassing situation w;A;w]

[herocomplex]

_{[ ...... ]}











So you're the other Japan?

[tenthousandyears]

... ... ...Please don't say it like that.

[She sounds like the interloper. What kind of relation does he have with Kiku-kun... How many people is Kiku-kun seeing?! If this weren't so unsettling she'd be having a nosebleed over the implications.]

[herocomplex]

H... hahaha of course! The other Japan!! I knew that!! Other Japan--!
Other Japan is a girl! A girl Japan! You're Japan, but with boobs.

GOT IT.

_{[ h...hahahaha what is this. what is going on why is there a female Japan...]}

text;

[laufeysons]

I'm sorry,
did you say you conquered the kitchen...?|

[ video ]

[fourseasons]

[He's so confused by all of this. Irritated, as well, and though he's been trying to hide that much for the sake of some sort of politeness-- no, not even that, just to justify to himself that he was not being rash. Not being his old self and not being her in any way. He had been calling her Japan to humor her while he sorted out this anger, but this was quickly approaching something he didn't want to deal with.

That she just shows up and starts throwing around names like "The Empire of Japan"... Naturally it wouldn't sit well with him. That's his past. Yet here she was speaking as if this wasn't his matter at all? Calling him Kiku-kun? Telling him what to do?

No wait, did she just tell him to assume a position of indifference? That sparks something he no longer has the control to hold back.]

H-how could I do such a thing?! If the name "Japan" is held responsible for such things, it is me who must deal with any following consequences!

[video]

[lookingsharp]

It's a kitchen on a ship that doesn't belong to you.

[tenthousandyears]

You must be... ... ...

[She's got this. She's totally got this. It is...]

France-san!