[text] eridan's guide to not being happy

[uncodlyawwesome]

i hate this fuckin ship

id rather be dead in my owwn homewworld than alivve here

[has someone been locked away in his room for the entirety of this jump so far? why yes he has]

Comments

voice;

[coffeeking]

Where the hell have you been? Are you alright?

text;

[uncodlyawwesome]

its none a your coddamn business wwhere ivve been jones an for the record no i am not alright im the direct opposite a the vvery definition a alright
im angry an i wwant to fuckin go back to bein dead in my homewworld already im done wwith this ship an all its fuckin bizzare bullshit an all the shit it pulls on me

voice;

[coffeeking]

I'll take that as a "no."

Are you in your room? Have you been in your room this whole time?

text;

[uncodlyawwesome]

yes
ivve been to get food an showwer
thats all that im really required to do

an my patrols a course im not about to let anythin get in the wway a me doin my job

voice;

[coffeeking]

Well, at least your work ethic and hygiene haven't suffered. You should go out and have a drink with Jack or something.

1/2 text; IANTO WHAT ARE YOU DOING

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhy wwould i do that howw wwould that help anythin
the last time i had a drink wwith someone i fuckin ended up makin an ass a myself an then i mistakenly thought i made a fuckin friend only to havve said "friend" fuckin up an disappear so i think its probably better for you an jack alike if i just dont fuckin do general hangin out

2/2 text;

[uncodlyawwesome]

[huff huff huff wow that was more self-deprecating than he immediately wanted to be]

anywway drinks are stupid an taste gross

voice; HELPING?!

[coffeeking]

Eridan, part of the fun of having drinks is to make an arse of yourself. Then you send drunk text messages and your friends tease you in the morning and you feel just a bit better about life... Once you get rid of the headache.

voice; encouraging underaged drinking more like

[uncodlyawwesome]

howw is makin an ass out a yourself supposed to make you feel better about life

i didnt get a headache just fuckin nauseous as hell nothin swwimmin couldnt fix

voice; it's not underage in the UK (with adult supervision)

[coffeeking]

It puts things in perspective.

That's a normal reaction too, except for maybe the bit about swimming. But different strokes for different physiologies, I'd wager.

voice; plus i guess in space nobody can card you

[uncodlyawwesome]

thatd be a bet youd wwin since swwimmin is good for me an mostly a bad thing for humans i guess
since you guys cant breathe underwwater or wwhatevver

voice; nope, they are card-free

[coffeeking]

We usually just hold our breath. Even have swimming competitions sometimes.

text;

[uncodlyawwesome]

humans are wweird

voice forever

[coffeeking]

Why is that weird? There are some scientists who even believe we evolved from aquatic mammals and retained the ability to swim.