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one angry little text post

[ With the explosion of broadcasts on the network Cambridge realises this is as good a time as any to throw his hat in as well. In fact, it works in his favour; one brief message will hopefully be quickly lost amongst the furor, cutting short any of the emotional fanfare that comes with having to talk about it in public. If Oxford hadn't been so damn gregarious in the first place he wouldn't even have bothered to say it out loud (type it, whatever; the point still remained): ]

Oxford has returned home. Not dead, just gone.

[ what follows are a series of self-indulgent little private messages because he might as well get all this hideousness over and done with at once: ]

PRIVATE: CHAPEL HILL
Don't suppose you fancy raising your sartorial bar a little higher? His clothes certainly won't fit me

PRIVATE: TYKE
Don't say anything, just choose one word: eloquent, dependable, poetic.

PRIVATE: NEAL
I'd rather stick my cock in Tony Stark's eye hole than get mixed up in your Smiley nonsense but for the love of God do try to contain this ridiculous song and dance somewhat
or at least give a fellow a decent warning before you drop your trousers and bare your crazy all over the network again

PRIVATE: JOSIAS
so how much does a space whore charge for hair-stroking anyway

PRIVATE: HAL
those other books I had on my list are now free for the taking. You can have them all, if you like

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[It stings, hearing someone else has gone. Stings more than she wants to admit. But there's too much shit going on right now for her to let it worm its way in. Still, she remembers her last conversation with Oxford, and though eloquent might have been her first choice, it's that memory that makes her go for something else.]

Poetic.

Thank God. Room number, please

001 011. Never moved.

[Same as her network number.]

Try not to be there for the next half hour or so.

[ It isn't that Cambridge wants it to be a surprise. He just doesn't particularly want to talk about it face to face. ]

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[Josias doesn't normally react to people leaving. Has never had much room in his life for attachment anyway, so people disappearing wasn't much different. But the ship was different, and he can't say it's ever news he welcomes. But he has some measure of Cambridge's manner, and of Cambridge's association with Oxford. He doesn't press, doesn't argue, simply answers.]

A story. Perhaps more, depending on time.

ohhhh God I'm not even entirely sure whether I wanted to be taken seriously or not

Is that your lack of knowledge on whores showing again? I've been called on for simple company before. I'd say it covers at least a third of my business.

how positively tame you make that one third sound

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...descriptive. Additionally: grotesque. Now who's the... how would you put it. "Soapy tit wanker"?

And you're the second person to leap to that assumption, but no cigar: this time, I have a copycat. Flattering, really.

Not buying it. Why on earth would anyone want to copy you

It's not unheard of-- I have a syllabus to prove it.

But as the saying goes: you're barking up the wrong tree.

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no that's not how that insult works

[ So basically, you'd like to skullfuck Tony, Cambridge. Somewhere Tony's eye twitched involuntarily and he has no idea why. ]

Was he a friend?

[ Wait no he means thank you, but it feels exceptionally awkward to send it as an afterthought, so he just... doesn't. Texting is terrible. ]

Of a good many years, yes. He was rather more fond of books than I am. Take them and you'll be doing me a favour

Then I am sorry for your loss. Are you keeping nothing of his?

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hell of a time to go home.

you'll just punch me if i ask anything like 'are you sure he's not dead' or 'are you okay', won't you.

[ shut up let him be mildly concerned ]

I don't quite think I have the energy for punching but yes the answer is definitely yes in theory

Was there really someone named Oxford aboard. Were his parents those sort of alumni who just can't let shite go?

Nickname. Do you honestly think someone would name their child 'Oxford'

[ cillian's eyebrows raise. ]

Erm, people name their kids all sorts of weird shit. What about that celebrity who called their baby Apple. There's probably about a hundred bloody Severuses in the world these days.

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A shame. I'd liked him quite a bit.

I imagine so. He was a rather agreeable sort than most of us

More agreeable than you?

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