one angry little text post

[sexting]

[ With the explosion of broadcasts on the network Cambridge realises this is as good a time as any to throw his hat in as well. In fact, it works in his favour; one brief message will hopefully be quickly lost amongst the furor, cutting short any of the emotional fanfare that comes with having to talk about it in public. If Oxford hadn't been so damn gregarious in the first place he wouldn't even have bothered to say it out loud (type it, whatever; the point still remained): ]

Oxford has returned home. Not dead, just gone.

[ what follows are a series of self-indulgent little private messages because he might as well get all this hideousness over and done with at once: ]

PRIVATE: CHAPEL HILL
Don't suppose you fancy raising your sartorial bar a little higher? His clothes certainly won't fit me

PRIVATE: TYKE
Don't say anything, just choose one word: eloquent, dependable, poetic.

PRIVATE: NEAL
I'd rather stick my cock in Tony Stark's eye hole than get mixed up in your Smiley nonsense but for the love of God do try to contain this ridiculous song and dance somewhat
or at least give a fellow a decent warning before you drop your trousers and bare your crazy all over the network again

PRIVATE: JOSIAS
so how much does a space whore charge for hair-stroking anyway

PRIVATE: HAL
those other books I had on my list are now free for the taking. You can have them all, if you like

Comments

[jilt]

Otherwise would be rude. I'm not much of a lady these days, but do let me pretend.

[sexting]

That makes two of us then

[ oh god a lady!cambridge joke let him die ]

What's so ladylike about polite arse-patting, pray tell

[jilt]

A lady minds her tongue. Or so I was told when I was a girl.

Besides, it's only common sense. Compliments are more beneficial than anything else.

[sexting]

I'll let the rest slide, but:

"A lady minds her tongue"

please please please tell me you don't believe this, I beg of you

[jilt]

Not in the slightest, darling.