oo9 ♫ voice

[showbizpanache]

[Kurt's voice sounds sort of...different. It's somehow deeper than usual--as deep as his voice can get, anyway--and has a strange, flat sort of quality, as if he's holding something back.]

I'm tired of pretending like everything's okay.

Horrible things have happened. People have--left. There were monsters. There was...Strela. And I think, oh, everyone else can handle it. They're all fighters. This is par for the course for a lot of you guys, right? Because you're strong. Because you aren't some silly little teenager whose biggest concerns are a cheating boyfriend and a failed musical theater audition, right?

[He takes in a single deep, shuddering breath.]

But then I think-- It any of this supposed to be normal? When does it become okay to be desensitized, to stop letting all of this get to you? Is that when this place--this ship, everything on it-- Is that when they win?

Maybe I'm weak and pathetic. But I'm trying so hard to make things feel normal here, but I can't just shrug off how badly I want to just--scream, just curl up somewhere and scream and scream because all of this is just so freaking insane.

Ugh. [Pause.] I'm sorry. [Disconnect.]

[ooc note; So someone's finally been succumbing to his mask. You can blame some recent events. :|b]

Comments

[showbizpanache]

Is everything okay?

[theyalldieforme]

Yeah, I'm fine.

[showbizpanache]

Sorry I ruined your birthday.

Encrypted; 100%

[theyalldieforme]

You didn't ruin anything. Don't worry about it.

[showbizpanache]

I think I did, John.

Nothing's going to be the same anymore.

[theyalldieforme]

What are you worried about?

[showbizpanache]

Do you think I kissed you just for fun?

[theyalldieforme]

I don't think people open up that way just for fun.

So you like me.

[showbizpanache]

I like a lot of people.

[theyalldieforme]

Do you kiss a lot of people?

[showbizpanache]

You're missing the point.

[theyalldieforme]

Then tell me the point.

[showbizpanache]

[The grammar isn't spot-on anymore, as if his hands are shaking and he can't be bothered to correct himself.]

im in love with you

[theyalldieforme]

[Shit.

Shit.

How does John get sideswiped by this twice?]

Are you crying

[John Connor, leader of the resistance.]

[showbizpanache]

just another day on the tranquility

[theyalldieforme]

Have you gotten any sleep?

[showbizpanache]

could u please stop avoiding the issue

please

just this once

1/2

[theyalldieforme]

Sorry.

It's sort of instinct.

[theyalldieforme]

I'm not going to stop being your friend, but I know that's not what you want to hear.

[showbizpanache]

sorry

if it creeps you out I understand

[theyalldieforme]

It doesn't creep me out.

[showbizpanache]

i get that ur trying to be nice but dont bother. I get it, I really do

[theyalldieforme]

Kurt. It doesn't creep me out. I've been kissed by girls who creeped me out way more than you did.

The fact that I'm not gay doesn't mean that I think it's gross.

[showbizpanache]

thats good to know I guess

look john we cant do anything about it. I cant turn my heart off

i just have to deal its not like this has never happened to me before

[theyalldieforme]

Do you want me to avoid you?