oo9 ♫ voice

[showbizpanache]

[Kurt's voice sounds sort of...different. It's somehow deeper than usual--as deep as his voice can get, anyway--and has a strange, flat sort of quality, as if he's holding something back.]

I'm tired of pretending like everything's okay.

Horrible things have happened. People have--left. There were monsters. There was...Strela. And I think, oh, everyone else can handle it. They're all fighters. This is par for the course for a lot of you guys, right? Because you're strong. Because you aren't some silly little teenager whose biggest concerns are a cheating boyfriend and a failed musical theater audition, right?

[He takes in a single deep, shuddering breath.]

But then I think-- It any of this supposed to be normal? When does it become okay to be desensitized, to stop letting all of this get to you? Is that when this place--this ship, everything on it-- Is that when they win?

Maybe I'm weak and pathetic. But I'm trying so hard to make things feel normal here, but I can't just shrug off how badly I want to just--scream, just curl up somewhere and scream and scream because all of this is just so freaking insane.

Ugh. [Pause.] I'm sorry. [Disconnect.]

[ooc note; So someone's finally been succumbing to his mask. You can blame some recent events. :|b]

Comments

voice (and placeholder)

[redhotsummers]

Kid, the minute that this shit starts to seem normal, yeah, that is when they win.

Pretending, trying to act like nothing's wrong? Is just going to bring it down crashing around your head.

[Like it is right now.]

Sucks, but looking it square in the face, every damn day...sometimes is the only way to deal.

[showbizpanache]

I know. I know, but I can't-- I'm not like the rest of you. I'm terrified all the time. I feel like I'm just going to break.

[redhotsummers]

Dude, most of us here are freaks. That's why we deal--and most of us just fucking pretend to be okay.

[He sighs]

You got friends, don't you?

audio; private (assume he just sent this straight to kurt's inbox or something)

[theheretic]

[ A couple of minutes after Kurt's broadcast comes a quiet: ]

Do you want to talk? Or... vent, or something. I hear I'm not too bad at listening.

[showbizpanache]

Maybe. I'm--

[...]

I'm kind of a mess.

[theheretic]

It happens.

The offer's still open.

[theyalldieforme]

[He's not happy. Not unhappy at Kurt, but just. Not happy that this is happening. But his mom is gone and there was the kiss and he doesn't know what to say to make it better, so he doesn't say anything, he just sends a data package with conversations Kurt had with Blaine that were recorded on the devices.

(He doesn't know if it will help, or hurt.)]

text; waaaay later on

[showbizpanache]

You put it together.

Thank you.

text;

[theyalldieforme]

You're welcome. I thought you might like it.

audio;

[webline]

[ man she doesn't know you but... a soft teenage girls voice with a rather thick queens accent: ]

Dude, you're not pathetic or weak or anything. Thinking that it's insane -- that this shouldn't be how things are -- I think... is the normal thing.

It's okay to freak out.

[showbizpanache]

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being scared all the time.

But at the same time, I don't want to lose it.

[webline]

Even the heroes -- the people who these things are normal for. They get scared too. I promise.

Like, maybe it's dumb of me to say -- but if you care this much, I don't think you'll ever get desensitized. Even if that's something you may want.

action;

[dirtyword]

[ There's a knock on the door and a water bottle that's been filled with the space equivalent of log island iced tea, a knock on the door, and then nothing else save for a note. It's definitely a guy's writing, which means it's not Wichita and it's Brendan instead. ]

broadway:
drink the thing, ping me when done.

text; later on

[showbizpanache]

I drank half.

text; later on

[dirtyword]

come over

video;

[lacksgrace]

Maybe you should scream then. [ A shrug. ] There's no use holding it in. That only makes it worse.

permavoice;

[showbizpanache]

[There's a long pause, and it sounds like movement away from the communication device. And then there's a muffled sound in the distance-- Kurt is screaming into his pillow.

Wait a little while longer, and then he's back.]

I guess that kind of worked.

[voice]

[bibliophilism]

[The tone that speaks is gentle and soft. Assuring. Sympathetic.]

It is never okay to be desensitized. That's when you stop being human, and stop caring about everyone else. And when you become desensitized, you never feel anything anymore, and you never learn from those feelings and emotions.

You don't have to face monsters, or even be on a strange spaceship, to be strong. Some people just happen to face those sorts of things.

[showbizpanache]

Sometimes it seems like it would be nice.

To not feel anything anymore.

voice;

[chaineddog]

Then scream. If it relieves some stress then just fucking do it.

[Truth be told, Heine would much rather have a normal life too, but this place isn't much better than the place he came from.]

'Normal' is a shit way to measure things anyway. What is 'normal' anyway?

[showbizpanache]

Whatever is comfortable to you, I think, on an individual basis.

voice;

[whippings]

Human beings are remarkable for their ability to adapt to new situations. [ Usually. She keeps that to herself because it doesn't look like this boy can handle it. ] Otherwise, we likely wouldn't have reached this stage in the evolutionary process.

[showbizpanache]

What's the difference between adapting and losing yourself?

TEXT ;

[cons]

mind if i come over?

[showbizpanache]

Not at all. See you soon.