ataraxion | video|

Hey T-Q, how's it going? [ the video feed begins, but the girl speaking isn't immediately visible. instead, you're treated at first to what looks like the corner of her desk, and the straps of what you can guess might be her mask. one that remains safely offscreen. ] Anyway I don't wanna get too chatty, so lemme just run us right up to our next calendar- [ which is exactly what pops up a beat later. ]

Bah-dah!
Alright, lemme break it down here.

Someother-tember the 8th is Wolf's Day! Apparently celebrated by, and I quote, [ is she joking? it's hard to tell. ] throwing sticks, rolling around, and biting for fun. Also eating. There's supposed to be eating.

Someother-tember the 12th back by popular demand, is Slap a Lawyer on the Ass day. I'm not gonna question anybody's taste, okay? It's space, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Someother-tember the 23rd &24th for you lushes is Nog Day- which out of the mercy of my heart has stretched to encompass the next day, to nurse your hangovers and mope generally about how much this place sucks and you aren't at home. And probably drink more because hey, why not, you know?

Someother-tember the 25th is Sinterklaas, where you can throw your amalgamation of miscellaneous holidays together into one massive whole.

Then last but not least, Someother-tember the 29th is Awkwardly hug a Josh Day which is pretty self explanatory, in my opinion.

I'm toying with the idea of next month having a pin the nametag on the squinty-eyes [ she may be referring to the plethora of Joseph Gordon Levitt faces, but you know, she isn't elaborating, so take that as you will ] and probably a sad, sad belated new year's party for all the oldbies kicking around- but you know, if I put like all those holidays on here it pretty much just would've been one giant month of getting drunk for faintly justifiable reasons. Blah blah insert too much of a good thing proverb here. Anyway.

That's it for me! Have at it!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I almost dedicated an entire day to people eating your pudding- but with all the lawyers on board, I figured it was too risky.

Sorry, are you afraid of lawyers? And it isn't just the puddings, you know, there is so much more to Space Christmas. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men...

No I'm saying it wouldn't be a stretch to see you get hung up for mass poisoning.

Ooh, are you worried for me? I'm touched, but there's no need--wizards always escape hangings. Well-known fact. That's if I poison anyone, which is still rumor and hearsay.

What about burnings?

Oooh, heavens, not the burnings, anything but-- except hang on, we can do magic, so it's really rather pointless. Tickly, actually.

I am entirely without fear. Nothing will stop this Christmas.

Hey I'm just saying, it worked in Salem.

Is this like, you're the opposite of the Grinch sorta deal?

Depends. Does your the Grinch hate peace and goodwill and puddings and cheer and sweets and loads of presents and mistletoe and all the rest?

An oddly accurate summary, yes.

What can I say, I have a gift. But anyway, with my accurate summary in mind, I s'ppose you could say that yes, I am the opposite of that figure of misery and menace. Aren't you glad. Gifts for all.