ataraxion | 005 ☠ video/text

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005 ☠ video/text

_{[ Here we see Jake English. Typical tanned skin boy who appears roughly 16. He's got the device shown in his icon on his head, fully functioning. Instead of speaking, he's think typing to the network. Some of his thoughts may be filtered, others may not be. This is merely a test run, however. The only reason it's on video as well is possibly his attempt to show off. But never mind that. He flashes a grin as the text appears on the screen. ]}

Howdy ho onlookers of the network yet again and an even greater greeting to those who are just now arriving on the ship. I do hope you are settling in well to your new home. Fret not, the contraption on my noggin is nothing more than a computer that i received in my locker last jump and i am merely giving its think typing capabilities a little test considering i have done a grand amount of tinkering with it to get it to this stage of functioning. Kicking christ, i really missed this little doohickey!!!!! Heres to hoping the rest of my wearable computers appear in my locker next jump.

:D

Im sure other have given you the low down on how this entire kidnapping tomfoolery sort of works so ill just mozy on past all of that and just offer my services to any of you who perhaps would be interested in the following and would be fond of making contact.... this goes to any new comers or perhaps those who havent spoken with me yet...

1. An interest in all sorts of rifles and pistols. My grandmother owned a rather impressive gun business back in the day in to which i inherited a huge amount of firearms before i was brought here. I carry two berettas myself strictly as defense sometimes, and spend long hours defending monsters to protect myself my entire life. If any of you are in need of any sort of protection, let me know.

2. An interest in reckless roughhousing in to which i refer to as fisticuffs!! Gosh nelly, do i love doing that. Fighting for sport in order to gain a better talent at defending off scoundrels. A good scrum and what have you is beneficial to my body... im not exactly sure about you but i practically thrive on it. If you want a sparring partner of some sort, i have already offered my body and skills to miss darkholme, but i will gladly accept others who are willing to fight for sport and training.

3. An interest in earth movies of all kinds. There really isnt a bad movie out there in my honest opinion. I am especially fond of superhero and action movies and romantic comedies and my favorite movie is weekend at bernies. Ive yet to find somebody else who thoroughly enjoys partaking in the viewing of that specific movie. Kudos to anybody who perhaps owns any earth movies and wouldnt mind sharing since i have been itching to catch a proper gander at angelina jolies visually pleasing thighs for some time now.

4. Comic books. Bonus points if youre actually from a comic i would love to meet you. I had an impressive collection back home on my island and found myself drawn especially to the spider girl series.

5. If you come from my world that is filled with game sessions, dream selves and puzzle moduses, echeladders, etc i would appreciate it if we made contact post haste. Im awfully curious if any of you lot have actually entered the gaming session yet and if there is anything i need to know granted we make it back home safely considering ive yet to enter my game session myself.

6. If anybody has uranium lying around, i will do anything for it.
I reckon thats really it!!!!! Ive been here for a few months so if you have any other questions im here to help....
The only thing i can really tell you is to be readily prepared for practically anything on this craft. Rely on those you trust the most and nobody else... but dont be surprised when one day you wake up and theyre gone from this place. :/

_{[ And that's it! Probably not the smartest sort of information to post, but excuse him. He's a little.. unique. He gives the video a little finger gun before signing off. ]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I *suppose.*
But come on!!!!!

Im itching to see some matthew mcconaughey on this ship! Hes a heart throbber!
Ive actually... yet to really watch any of the movies they have here in the library since they werent from earth. I mean i know they probably arent *bad* par se but it just isnt the same to me you know!!

Well, yeah. The culture alone is probably so far beyond the norm for most of us, it'll all probably go over our heads.

[Not touching Matthew Mcconaughey. Period.]

Hehehehe. I guess it doesnt hurt to give it a try!!!!
Sir have you watched any of the space flicks yet????

Not yet. A lot of the people I know haven't even seen good earth movies yet. It makes movie nights really hard to organize.

[A beat.]

Also, don't call me 'sir.' It's weird. My name's Topher.

Apologies, topher! It appears people dont precisely enjoy it when i refer to them politely. I always thought that was how you ought to introduce yourself to people considering you arent best mates with them or anything.
Than again my only ways of learning how to communicate with others is through watching movies or clips on youtube.

Topher, then. What say you to use organizing a little rendezvous with some spacey alien movies and having some sort of flick watching get together????

Do you know how to invite girls to parties cause I certainly dont....
But I can certainly assist in some way.

I know people who would love that, but I'm not... one of them. It makes me feel old.

[A beat... W..ow... He may have found someone more socially awkward than him. And possibly Wheatley. Yes. Good.] That's definitely one I haven't heard before.

I like the way you think. [.........] I usually just walk up and ask them normally. [And probably get flustered, but shhh.] I mean, it's not like it's a date thing.

Thats what they all say! I guess it sort of makes me sound like im too young, huh??? I feel elderly at fifteen though... it seems like yesterday i was still sitting on grandmas lap anyway.

One you havent heard before???

Oh! As far as the girl thing goes. Holy willyshits, you make it sound so easy but i cannot help but thnk what if they think youre hitting on them and youre not and then its awkward from there because they might fall in love with you and then youll have too many suitors and itll just become a blooming mess!

That is what i fret, topher.

I never heard of anyone picking up on how to communicate with people through movies and YouTube. Were you cryogenically frozen and then woken up in a strange new world of which you have no real understanding? [THAT'S TOTALLY A POLITE THING TO ASK. Especially in such a comically dramatic voice.

...Oh Jake.]

I can definitely say that's not a problem I've... personally ever had.

Edited 2012-10-27 17:05 (UTC)

Youre rather close! I guess! Well not really but... here ill turn on my voice.

_{[ And here's Jake's voice. It's really not the most pleasant sounding. Nasaly, almost nerdy with a very thick, indescribable accent that would be best categorized as Australian. ]}

I grew up there with my grandmother but she passed away when I was five so I sort of got to fend for myself! Really bloody exciting if I were to say so myself, even if it was treacherous.
Oh, hogswallop! You seem like quite the charmer, Toph. I bet you have the dames lining up to talk to you with you flapping your whistlemaker on and on about motion pictures references and such. Yowza.

Girls, though. They ought to be invited!

[JAKE, YOU ARE TOO PRECIOUS.]

No, it's definitely true. I know a lot of girls I've never actually wanted to initiate anything with, and none of them have tried beating down my door. [Except that one time, but Saunders was proving a point.

...And Kenzi. God, poor Kenzi.] But when it's a girl I'm actually interested in, all this great articulation? Just goes whoosh. Gone.

[But he tries. God how he tries.]

You should talk to Wichita. She's an insane movie buff. And I think she might be seeing someone, maybe, so she probably won't think you're hitting on her.

Haha.. yeah. I, erm. Definitely can speak witness to that, my friend. I've never really been around people in the flesh and bones and I dare say it's much more nerve wrecking when you talk to them in person.

_{[ Oh. He fidgets a bit. ]}

If you are referring to the gal with the guns, I already have met her. Uhh. As stunning as she is, erm, uh.. anyway.. I think she's a lot older.. maybe. I mean, is there really some sort of rule to all of that? I'm only fifteen..
Besides! I've got my lookers set on quite the damsel!

Several of them!

Edited 2012-10-30 04:33 (UTC)

[That awkward moment when you have no idea how old anyone is anymore.] Yeah, I can see where that would... be a problem.

[ANYWAY...] Several? You stud. [Just imagine Topher's giving you a mental brofist, Jake.] Not that it's hard. We're not exactly lacking in the beautiful girls department here in space.

Oh, I don't know if the one I'm particularly interested in is on the space ship. But I saw her before I arrived here.

_{[ His voice is cracking a bit as he says this. He got nervous really easily. ]}

I felt as if we were destined to be with one another or something cheesy, hahaha.

The other I've sort of had a long standing thing for. I've actually been meaning to question her, uhhh, feelings for me but then I was brought here--

Well, the TQ is pretty reliable about having the worst timing, but I get it. I, uh... I had someone back home, too. I don't really believe in destiny or anything, but she could've been the one.

[Somehow having two of Bennett's otherworldly identical twin !sisters on the ship has made never talking about Bennett futile. Besides, it's only fair.]

I have my speculations, uhhhmm. Like, uh.. I don't know. She and I just exchanged a glance in a vision when I got knocked out fighting with a robot and it just felt like absolute bliss. I didn't catch her name, but she's rather alluring.

Then there is my best friend. I feel as if he's dropping weird hints but they're sort of going over my head and I'm not certain if he's serious or not. He's a hard guy to read anyway!

And his answering machine is much too forward.

Hahahahaha, god. Uh.

I'm sorry about you and your love interest. Maybe she'll show up?

You are definitely from Dave and Dirk's universe. No other universe I've heard things about since I've been here has ever made me squint quite this much. ...That's a compliment. They were two of my closest friends here.

[...But that is even sadder than dead girlfriends.]

I doubt it. She, uh... [WELL, SHE CURRENTLY HAS A PROBLEM WITH HER BRAINS BEING SPLATTERED ALL OVER A WALL...] She'd be miserable here.

Oh...

Oh.

You know Dirk.

---Why the hell does everybody on this blasted ship know Dirk!? Jesus christopher kringlefucker!
He's nothing but a ninny twatting tallywhacker, yeah! Self absorbed, inconsiderate twit!

_{[ There's a prolonged huff in the device. ]}

Same goes for his brothers!

Whoa, whoa, easy. He and his brothers were a little weird, but I didn't think they were that big on making people feel victimized... Okay, maybe Dave a little, but Dirk? He's the sensible one... Aside from the weird puppet fetish.

No, he really isn't!! Dash it all! He just friggen left me here after we finally got to meet in person and then he just disappears. Why didn't he take me with him?? Hush it, I don't want you saying people leave sometimes... he outright planned it! He left presents for me when he left and some vague message. That is just like him to be vague!! AUGH.
On top of that, he built a robot for me to fight with but the nutsucker put it on a difficult setting! It always wants to fight, and don't get me wrong, I love fighting, I really do. Nothing like the fisticuffs...
But he's metal! He's equipped for combat battle and Dirk wasn't even courteous enough to install an off switch or something that I could control! Jesus Christ!

Who does he think he is??

[There is a long silence, because how does one even begin to describe that crazy robot-building weirdo that was a staple of the science lab long before Topher moved into it.]

I think he thinks he's Dirk Strider... And all the weirdness that entails.

Yes, well. I wouldn't mind him not being Dirk Strider for awhile. Although he is helpful, he's much too aloof and vague for my liking...

On some days, I guess.

I mean, now I guess I'm starting to miss him a little. But that isn't the point..

_{[ There's a pause as he takes in a deep breath. ]}

Point is.. you like movies and I like movies and I dare say I think we should associate with one another more if that isn't any botheration to your liking.

I'd like that. It's no... botheration for me at all.

_{[ Topher can probably hear the smile in Jake's voice. ]}

Hahaha, brilliant! I'm brand new to this whole making friends thing-a-ma-bob and talking to people face to face. I dare say I'm doing a rather sportingly good job, huh? I was nervous and shaky in my marrows when I first got here; meeting people really weirds me out and peaks my anxiety sometimes I feel sick when I talk to people but I feel it's getting better.

Topher, do you have any other interests or perform any services aboard this craft?

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