002. Sebastian Moran in: Colonel Moran's Jungle Adventure: Narrated by Sebastian Moran

[sebasher]

[ Interesting thing about Sebastian Moran: he absolutely loves a good jungle. It doesn't matter what type, so long as it's interesting and He considers the Tranquility a jungle within itself, really, if jungles were composed of oddly mismatched architecture. The entire ship has offered him plenty of room to explore, though, and he's finally discovered the oxygen gardens.

He knows full well that there's not anything of the nasty, sharp-toothed, razor-clawed nature lurking in the gardens, but it's nice to be back in a familiar environment, so he's incredibly cheerful, whistling some semblance of a tune when the recording begins, his eyes scanning his surroundings beyond the view of the device. Suddenly, he stops his whistling and cracks a grin. ]

Damn. That'll be stuck up there all day now. [ He taps his temple. ] How far does all this go on, then? It doesn't seem nearly deep enough for my tastes.

[ Oh, another interesting thing about Sebastian Moran, by the way: he really loves to hear himself talk. Which means that for the next few minutes, the lot of you have to him narrate his own mini documentary. And his voice is not nearly as calming as Morgan Freeman's. ]

Maybe we'll catch a tiger, eh? [ He chuckles. ]

Damn near impossible to catch one of 'em by the toe and live to tell the tale, in case you ever wondered. They've got razor sharp claws that retract, five inches long on most of 'em. You'd probably be better off putting your head between their jaws and saving 'em the trouble of shredding you to bits.

[He continues on in this manner for five more minutes or so, rattling off strangely gorey facts about tigers and other beasties and jungles in the world's cockiest tone until--

The scheduled "rain" for the lower levels of the garden begins to fall heavily, instantly soaking him and mostly shutting him up beyond hushed swears as he fumbles to turn the device off. Thanks, Tranquility. ]

{OOC| I would like to apologize. Also, tags will come from tigers because I changed his username yes good.}

Comments

NOT HERE

[spider]

[ God, you're an embarrassment. ]

TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL

[tigers]

[ Look, maybe if you'd let me shoot something every once in awhile, things wouldn't be so bad. ]

[unheroic]

dude did u miss the memo. space tigers are lame - space sharks are whats cool.

[tigers]

[ Wow shut up go away tigers rule sharks drool ]

I suppose if you have an affinity for marine life, yes, but that isn't my area of expertise.

[unheroic]

think about it man, we are like that boat in jaws and we're just waiting for the space sharks to come get us

video;

[stacked]

Looking a little wet there, tiger.

[ LOL GEDDIT

tiger

it's funny because you're apparently a super violent furkin, moran.

also tigers. ]

video;

[tigers]

[ HA HAHAHA HA ha good one. tigers.

It's stopped raining when he switches the video back on, but he definitely does look like a wet, angry cat because apparently it's my job to draw feline comparisons by playing this man. ]

I hadn't noticed.

video;

[stacked]

I'm a helpful chick like that.

So. Into tigers, huh?

[ tell us more. ]

video;

[stimulations]

Perhaps you shouldn't try to catch one, if they're so dangerous.

video;

[tigers]

You've never been in the jungle, have you, old chap? A true jungle. Someplace where there are bigger concerns than how many earthworms you can crush in ten paces.

video;

[stimulations]

I assume that means you have, though I still don't see what that has to do with catching or not catching a tiger. Killing one for self-defence, if one attacks, perhaps, but catching denotes independent motivation. Hunting.

video;

[sugarbear]

Look at you. So tough. Pull up your big girl pants, it's just a bit of rain.

video;

[tigers]

[ Aw, don't make fun of him. He leads such a hard life. ]

Before noon? Absolutely despicable. Clearly the man who created this jungle has never spent three months straight wandering through one. [ Ordinarily, he'd toss in something about jungles being different all around the world, but he's too proud to give the fabricated jungle any credit right now. ]

video;

[sugarbear]

The thing you should always remember about the weather is that it's unpredictable. You can't control it.

[ He is just so smug. Look how dripping wet you are while Casey here is comfortably bone dry. ]

Have you ever met a tiger?

voice;

[sharp]

[ that's so ... interesting. and a little bit weird. and kinda funny. c'mon. ]

Big fan of tigers. Nooot so much of rain. Just a guess.

voice;

[tigers]

[ Yes, Amy. Hilarious. Actually, okay, it is a bit hilarious. ]

An enormous fan of tigers when I have the upper hand on them, the clever hellcats. Less of a fan of weather I can find every morning in London.

voice;

[sharp]

[ see, she's always right about these things. trust her. ]

So, you ... what, hunt tigers, then? [ actually sort of offended by this!! ] And you're not surprised by rain on a spaceship?

audio;

[dirtyword]

You an African plains hunter?

audio;

[tigers]

A heavy game hunter, best shot on the Indian sub-continent which isn't just me spouting bollocks. But tigers don't live on the African plains, chum.

text;

[cons]

[ maaaaaan if Wichita wasn't so messed up from the Silent Hill plot, she'd probably play along and egg him on and laugh and laugh and laugh. but as it were; ]

you are going to get eaten.

text;

[tigers]

[ What? You mean you didn't enjoy it, Wichita? He wasted a lot of ammo but he thought it was fun. Got to bond with you, pal. ]

Is that really what you think? After all we've been through?

action; if you don't mind BECAUSE THIS WILL CLEARLY END WELL.

[tumbleweeds]

[ Oh hey. Did someone say tigers?

Because one sure is poking her head out of a bush. ]

action; perfect perfect P E R F E C T

[tigers]

[ Oh. Oh god, and Moran without a rifle. He whips his revolver out quickly enough, though, eyes pinned on the tiger as he tries to clear his mind and just. not be confused. This was the last thing he was expecting, after all.

But Moran's favorite part of hunting is the danger and uncertainty that comes with it, and he had a large portion of shooting in Wichita's zombie land. Staring a tiger down is just as satisfactory as shooting one, so he just waits for the tigress to make her move. ]

voice;

[meal]

You are a hunter-?

[Her voice is tense, her tone undecided between an affirmation and question.]

voice;

[tigers]

Something of the sort.

[ In a tone that says: yes, yes I am, and I'm damn proud of it too. ]