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Entry tags:
- alaric saltzman,
- alayne stone,
- am,
- asato,
- bran stark,
- dave strider,
- davesprite,
- dirk strider,
- ellen ripley,
- faith lehane,
- feferi peixes,
- hayley stark,
- jaye rinnark,
- john connor,
- kane suzrou,
- kara "starbuck" thrace,
- leoben conoy,
- loki laufeyson (616),
- murphy pendleton,
- nepeta leijon,
- netherlands,
- niall o corcoráin,
- nill,
- peter pan,
- petyr baelish,
- rickon stark,
- robb stark,
- sawyer "soysauce" sciarrino,
- sherlock holmes | au,
- sirius black,
- terra branford,
- the doctor (eleventh),
- topher brink,
- wheatley,
- ygritte
008 [AUDIO]
[And now, a public service announcement from your resident lord and master of gross exaggeration, poster child of pointless overreaction, supreme champion of the ninety-mile-an-hour whinge--]
There's a cow in the oxygen garden.
[He doesn't even bother to hide the undercurrent of disgust in the audio feed, an edge to his voice that makes it clear he's most likely had a recent run-in with the aforementioned cow and/or a cow by-product.]
There's a cow in the oxygen garden why is there a cow in the oxygen garden on what strange, bizarro planet did any of you think this was a good idea?
Agh, it's--nevermind, I'm absolutely positive that at least some of you come from strange, bizarro planets where this sort of thing is acceptable. I mean, the cats and the dogs and--I heard there's a horse, too--are bad enough, now we've got livestock.
And don't even--don't even get me started on the bloody birds. Filthy. Eugh.
I know we're probably still hung up on certain unnamed parties forgetting how to swim, and yes, fair enough, it's tragic, but I think we could all use a, ah. Friendly reminder. This is, in fact, a spaceship. Not a zoo. How is that--What's the point, anyway? It's all--it's all great that the ship packed up your giant killer wolf and dumped it in your locker just for you, but maybe the rest of us are not entirely comfortable with the idea of cows and horses and giant killer wolves out! Anyone think of that?
You can't walk five feet around here without running into someone's pet. We have got to start talking about what to do with all these animals. Honestly.
There's a cow in the oxygen garden.
[He doesn't even bother to hide the undercurrent of disgust in the audio feed, an edge to his voice that makes it clear he's most likely had a recent run-in with the aforementioned cow and/or a cow by-product.]
There's a cow in the oxygen garden why is there a cow in the oxygen garden on what strange, bizarro planet did any of you think this was a good idea?
Agh, it's--nevermind, I'm absolutely positive that at least some of you come from strange, bizarro planets where this sort of thing is acceptable. I mean, the cats and the dogs and--I heard there's a horse, too--are bad enough, now we've got livestock.
And don't even--don't even get me started on the bloody birds. Filthy. Eugh.
I know we're probably still hung up on certain unnamed parties forgetting how to swim, and yes, fair enough, it's tragic, but I think we could all use a, ah. Friendly reminder. This is, in fact, a spaceship. Not a zoo. How is that--What's the point, anyway? It's all--it's all great that the ship packed up your giant killer wolf and dumped it in your locker just for you, but maybe the rest of us are not entirely comfortable with the idea of cows and horses and giant killer wolves out! Anyone think of that?
You can't walk five feet around here without running into someone's pet. We have got to start talking about what to do with all these animals. Honestly.
no subject
But the simple fact is that you're not being rational here.
You're being defensive because I just introduced the possibility that someone might want to take the rubik's cube away again.
And maybe the only reason that you think that it's not causing problems is that no one's taken the opportunity to mention anything like that.
Well, since we're on the topic now, I think that I should let you know.
I'm completely offended by your stupid color cube. [ Lies. ]
I hate how you bring it to work every fucking day and sit it down in your workspace like a ludicrous psychedelic box.
Man, the way it's just there and catches light in the corner of my eye is mucking up our entire science department.
How are we supposed to get anything done with the way you fuss over that atrocity to make sure it's still sitting there, safe and sound?
no subject
...Are you really angry about my cube?
no subject
no subject
[Like cows.]
no subject
I mean, you make it really apparent that your attachment to the puzzle box is way beyond matrimonial.
But ok, how about we make this the perfect opportunity to prove me wrong.
All you've got to do is discard it in the same way you want to get rid of all the animals and pets aboard this ship.
If you could do that, then we'll know it's just a cube.
That'd basically differentiate it from some kinda pet or target of your robo-affections.
Of course, you've gotta be able to do this where I could see it.
Not like it counts if I'm not there to see you properly doing it in.
no subject
For all of his posturing about it being just a cube, the stupid puzzle is the first thing he's ever owned, one of the only objects aboard the ship he can definitively call his. Though he's accumulated several other items during the course of his time on the Tranquility, the cube has remained the Favorite Thing, the Thing That is Most His, and for Dirk to ask him to either admit that he's wrong, or destroy the cube seems almost cruel.
But Wheatley really, really doesn't like admitting that he's wrong, especially not when so many people are apparently invested in the animal debate he was dumb enough to start.]
Okay. Fine. I'll...get rid of it. Consider it gone.
text; -> action
Ok, I'm gonna pay you a visit.
Best if I see it in person, you know.
You'll get this done with.
I'll take a piece in commemoration of this special occasion.
This day will go down in history as the day that you've really shown me up.
Achievement Unlocked: A Rubik's Cuve Is Not a Pet.
P.S: Wheatley truly bears no sentimental feelings.
[ Dirk will have found Wheatley in no time. ]
no subject
Wheatley is sort of sitting by himself in their little corner of the science department, trying to hide his DISTRESS. He has a screwdriver clutched in his fist and the cube is on the table.]
You don't--you don't actually have to take a piece. What are you going to do with it, anyway?
no subject
Sure, I do. [ He says coolly, wearing his usual inscrutable stoic expression on his face. ] I already told you, it'll memorialize the special occasion of you finally showing a cool kid like me up.
[ Wheatley can't see Dirk's indifferent gaze beneath his triangle shades. But he's watching like security personnel poised over a prisoner, pressing Wheatley to either comply or confess that he's wrong. ]
no subject
Wheatley is trying very hard to look like he doesn't care about this turn of events. Spoiler: it's not working and he stares at the cube, then the screwdriver, then at Dirk.]
Memorialize--
[GOD FINE WHATEVER
He goes and JAMS THAT SCREWDRIVER RIGHT INTO THE CUBE.]
no subject
[ Oh look, Wheatley's wedged the screwdriver into the rubik's cube. This is really a thing that's happening. He can't back out now.
Dirk doesn't appear to be smirking as he continues, but is that a tinge of humor in his voice? Or do AI-guys in human bodies have enough imagination to think they hear that? ]
It'll be physical evidence of the milestone that you reached here today.
no subject
[It takes some effort, but eventually he wedges out a piece. From there, the task is easier, almost too easy, and despite his best efforts, he looks increasingly upset about the turn of events. A little like this:]
And what milestone would that be, exactly?